Lorelai Whitetail's Questionnaire

I was granted an apartment in New York as part of my job for the company; I'm often required to move residences in accordance with where I am assigned, so the company facilitates that for me, and I'm grateful for it. It's a small, one bedroom affair, but I find it elegant-- it is located at the end of the hallway, and the door faces the kitchen counter, which is sturdy enough to provide some cover; in other words, defensible enough, plus, the balcony overlooking the pool provides an escape route in a pinch, even though it's a little risky. I've also placed a painting of a cat in a bowtie above the sofa. I'm rather fond of it.

My job as security for the company pays me well enough to keep me stable, and I do not want for much of anything. A roof over my head and food to keep me from hunger is already far more than I had before Silverwolf took me in... I suppose, now that I mention it, food might be one of my major expenses. Now that I am cultivating my lycan side rather than repressing, I've found my appetite has increased significantly, especially when it comes to meats and other proteins. Our in-house nutritionist has advised me to keep a varied diet, and I have been striving to oblige... despite my current lack of pratical culinary skills.

Back when I was a child, my Lycanthropy was nothing but a curse. I was shunned. Feared. Pushed to the wayside. I had every reason to become exactly the kind of monster they believed me to be. But when Mr. Blackburn found me, that's not what he saw. He believed my condition to be a blessing, not a curse. Taught me to control it. Use it to my advantage. And more importantly, to never be ashamed of it. Because you see, that's the kind of world Silverwolf is trying to create. One where we're not hunted down as mere beasts. One where we have mastery over our own fates. That future, that vision, it's worth protecting. The people who would see it through are worth protecting. And you bet your tail I am willing to lay down my life to see that future through as well.

There are many kinds of Lycantropy, but for me, it runs in the family. Not that my father ever let us know... I guess he was hoping, however naively, that this condition would die with him, and not be passed down to his children-- or at least, that when it did, he'd be able to help us control it. Whatever his reasons were, none of it happened how he planned. When my brother turned, it was all at once, and he quickly lost control of himself-- he wounded me, and would have killed me if my father hadn't intervened, entering his hybrid form himself. They brought the struggle outside, into the woods... And come next morning, my brother was found dead in the forest by local hunters. As for my father, I would never see him again.

My mother and I skipped town soon after that. She was trying to escape the tragedy, I suppose, as well as the stigma it had placed upon me. But even when she tried to protect me from it, she still kept me at arm's lenght, fearful that I would turn out like my brother; when I started showing signs of turning, she just... left, one day. Left and never came back.

But today, I wouldn't say that was the event that defines me. No, my life truly started when Mr. Blackburn and his cohorts found me, scared and nearly feral in the wilds, and took me in. Silverwolf saved me from a life as a mindless monster. And this new life they gave me, I chose to dedicate to protecting them.

Nikolai Blackburn: Silverwolf's CEO. I understand him to be a private man, and I've had scant few interactions with him since the fateful initial encounter. Nonetheless, he is an outstanding individual, and the embodiment of Silverwolf's mission and values. It is no exaggeration to say I owe him my life.

Instructor Dane Morgan: Chief Instructor for SILVERHOUND's training program. Her hybrid Doberman form cuts an intimidating visage, and her nickname, "Instructor Hellhound", is well-earned, though woe be to the poor fool who is caught saying that in her presence. Despite her hard-line persona, however, she does genuinely care for the team she trains-- and I would have never made it this far without her guidance.

Charlie Valentine: She's a fellow rookie who was in my group when we were both training to become SILVERHOUNDS. When that werebat first greeted me, all smiles and sunshine, I'm ashamed to say I shut her out-- I was too used to people treating me with mistrust and hatred, so I didn't quite know how to handle someone so overtly friendly. And yet, she didn't let that deter her; she continued to be warm towards me until, before I could realize it, she had melted through my icy walls and became my closest friend in the force. Even today, I look foward to whenever we're assigned to a detail together, though I don't think I'll ever quite match her energy; instead, I like to think we cancel each other out.

My parents both worked office jobs, though my mother quit hers for a time to better look after me and my brother. All in all, my childhood was exceedingly normal-- up to the point where it wasn't. My mother took me out of school after we left town (my brother turned when he was thirteen, so I must have been ten at the time) and tried to homeschool me from then on; as much as she didn't truly want me near her, she didn't trust me near other people either. I think, in her own broken way, she did try to shelter me from the world, in spite of her fear... In any case, I wouldn't receive any formal education until I was 15, when Silverwolf found me. It was all tutors and private classes from then on, so I suppose I didn't really have social relations with peers my age until boot camp. That... explains a few things, come to think of it.

No.

((It would be funny if I could just leave it at that, but I do need to meet the word count to get my rewards, now don't I? Lorelai is Ace, but not Aro, though her lack of social interaction prior to joining SILVERHOUND left her a little emotionally stilted, and she hasn't really had the time to explore many friendships, let alone romantic relationships. Although... There may or may not be something going on with Charlie. Not that Lorelai has the self-awareness to pick up on any of that; all she knows is she really enjoys spending time with her bestie ^^))

I... I suppose I haven't given that much thought.

...No, that's a lie. That anxiety is behind my mind constantly. That fear that... That I don't belong here. With the company, with SILVERHOUND, with my peers. I feel this constant need to watch myself, _prove_ myself, to earn my place here. Silverwolf-- Mr. Blackburn-- saved my life. I need to repay that debt, otherwise the only thing keeping me afloat is a sense of charity... Or perhaps pity.

Is that how they see me? With pity? The little girl picked off the street by a philanthropist, protected from the world because she was too weak to fend for herself? If I don't put in twice the effort, will they think I only got as far as I did because of my connection to the CEO, however small it may be? God, maybe there's truth to that-- I was far from the most promising recruit at my class. Before I started these Contracts, I couldn't even control my hybrid form. I could only suppress it-- because I was afraid of it.

I... Was afraid of it. Of what it meant. Of my past, staring back at me in the mirror. My brother--

Argh. That's something I'm not willing to unpack right now.

I take a lot of pride in the instruments of my work. My suit, my badge, my radio, my weapons... Each requires regular maintenance, and I always mare sure that they are in tip-top shape. There's a degree of pragmatism to that-- poor maintenance could cause them to fail me at a critcal moment, costing me my life-- but there's also a sense of self-care to it. I enjoy being well-presented, I suppose... It makes me feel put together.

Though there's another thing-- or things, rather, that I'm very fond of. You see, Charlie is a hobbyist photographer, as it turns out, and she has a film camera she often takes to our after-work hangouts. She has gifted me some of these photographs, which I have framed in my apartment. I never had much of an eye for decorating (Charlie often teases me on how "white-bread" by apartment looks), but I think they give the space a sense of life... And it's nice to have these reminders of our camaderie. Charlie, Fiora, Logan, and all the others in Weiss squad... I never thought I'd be blessed with so many I could call my friends. That's why I cherish these photographs so much.

Hm... The issue with the cameras at Unity IT comes to mind. In fact, I suppose that's a symptom of a larger problem, as it's the second time something like this has ocurred...

I'm educated enough in the phenomenon we've come to know as the "Illumination." In the age of information, it's near impossible for those of us who are inherently supernatural to stay hidden. My kind, lycanthropes, in particular, is one victim of the worst consequences of this-- to be ousted as a lycan is to be forever branded a monster and an outcast, being feared at best and hunted at worst. I bore that stigma myself for much of my teenage years until Silverwolf helped me get my condition under control.

Thanks to the company's efforts, I have been able to lead a normal life since then. But now that I am taking these outside contracts, I am exposing my condition to the world once more... If I am not careful, the consequences of this will turn me into a liability. Silverwolf can only protect the lycans under is charge as long as its true nature remains concealed from the public, so if my image becomes that of a monstrous killer, and I'm traced back to the company, they will have no choice but to cut me loose. I... shudder to think what will become of me after that.

I need to do something about that footage.

I start my mornings early: most commonly before 5am for my usual schedule, though time may vary depending on where my division is currently deployed. I then prepare my own breakfast, usually something involving bacon and eggs (a high protein intake is very important for predatory lycans such as wolves) accompanied by a homemade capuccino (I like my coffee sweet. Don't tell anyone, it ruins the stoic persona). That's also the same time I take my pills, washed down by a glass of water. They can cause some nausea if taken at an empty stomach, so it's best to have them after the meal. After that, it's a matter of getting in uniform and packing my gear, making sure beforehand all of it is in order. I am usually ready to leave by 5:30, after which it is a short drive to the main building, where I am typically stationed. I tend to get there with some ten minutes to spare to catch up with my squadmates as we make sure the area is in order before our 6am start.

...I hate to admit it, but there tends to be at least one smoke break slotted in there most days. I am making attempts to quit, but the stress from these contracts has been... a setback.

Oh, hah... I'm afraid that question has caught me. Truth be told, I wouldn't really know what to wear... I haven't owned a dress since I was a child, and even then I didn't really feel comfortable in them. Most likely, I'd have to ask Fiora for advice. The rabbit certainly has an eye for fashion, and she has offered to take me shopping in more than a few occasions. In one such trip, She convinced me to buy a leather jacket... Maybe I'd wear that? It looks quite nice. Besides that... I suppose it would be a more drawn out version of how I'd prepare for work. Making sure my clothes are well pressed, my hair (or fur, if it's a company event) is well groomed. No perfume, though. Most human fragances make my nose itch. I don't think it would take that long-- I like to think I am efficient in my preparations, be if for work or for leisure.

I don't know, to be honest. I'm very excited for it, however.

Let me explain: My birthday is only a few months away, and it roughly coincides with the anniversary of my joining of Weiss squad. It's customary, then, for me and the squad to celebrate it together at a bar or something similar. They are after all my closest circle. This year, however, Charlie has insisted she made the preparations and keep it all a secret. I'm not sure why, but needless to say it has me curious. Logan has let it slip that karaoke may be involved. I have since started practicing my singing.

Sometimes I think back to my brother... I think I said before that none of us ever expect him to turn like he did. But... that's not entirely true. Though I didn't-- couldn't-- know it at the time, he did exhibit some early signs of lycantropy in the months before. He'd have trouble controling his emotions, often lashing out agressively, and he once confessed to me he felt his body changing at times, in ways he kept from our parents. He was... scared. Of what was happening to him. He couldn't understand it. And I... 

(a sigh.)

I was scared too.

God, I was ten. How could I have known how to deal with with it? But sometimes, when I'm lying awake in bed, I begin to wonder, what if I had helped him through it somehow-- or at least, came to our father for help. Maybe then, things would have turned out differently, and he'd still be...

(...)

I try not to dwell on it. I can't change what happened. I am who and where I am now, and I need to make the best of that.

My gifts are a combination of a werewolf's inherent abilities and intensive, rigorous training-- as well as a handful of tools handed to me by Silverwolf's R&D department.

A lycantrope's blood is a potent source of power, and can grant tremendous strength to its wielder-- however, it often comes at the cost of one's sanity, as few can control their hunting instincts while in hybrid form, at least not without proper guidance. It is a common belief that the more power one draws from the beast within, the more savage they become, but that is not necessarily true: with enough conditioning, once can access their blood's full potential while retaining complete control of their own actions. That's where a SILVERHOUND's training comes in.

Of course, my Imbuement has accelerated my progress tremendously. As I previously mentioned, prior to my first Contract, I struggled to mantain control over my hybrid form. As a result, much to my personal shame, I couldn't quite measure up to the rest of my squadmates-- Although I was just as trained in my human shape, I always knew I would be at a disavantage in a critical situation. But now... Calling my alternate form is as natural as breathing. And I've gone undefeated in our training spars for some time now. The change is dramatic. It is... scary, somehow, to think I might be the best combatant in my division now.

Ugh, did I really just say that? Maybe that handicap hasn't quite worn out yet. I am still a relative rookie. Supernatural powers aside, I don't have nowhere near the field expertise my superiors posses. I should know better than to brag.

Hm... Spirituality isn't a very large part of my life, I'm afraid. My mother was Catholic, and my father... I don't recall, actually. Given his nature, it's possible he hid dis faith from us, much like he hid his condition. In any case, after my brother turned, we naturally ceased going to the church. I can only assumed I would be stoned to death should I ever have stepped within fifty feet of one back then. Suffice it to say, Christianity and I have a very distant relationship nowadays.

That's not to say religion is something all werecreatures shun, of course. In fact, there is even those among us who keep old pagan traditions alive. Here's a piece of trivia: did you know that, in certain celtic cultures, werewolves were not shunned by the people, but instead regarded as protectors of the wounded and the lost? Something I was unaware of until reading about it in the company break room. Goes to show things were not always as they are-- and can be changed again. I hope to see that world some day.

Well. That certainly is a charged question. Especially from a questionnaire interested in my birthday plans not too long ago.

I suppose I should count myself lucky, that I've been able to complete these missions without compromising my soul, at least so far... With perhaps one exception. I'm still worried about that girl, Ten, and the company we delivered her to... Something smells off about them. I made a promise to protect her; is that truly what I did, in the end?

Besides that... The Contracts have yet to throw me a challenge I was unable to overcome, even if there were close calls. And while I was always aware of how the world views and treats people like us-- People they don't consider "natural"-- these jobs have put that ugly facet of the world in full view. So no, I wouldn't say my experience with the Contracts has shaken my worldview. In fact, it has only made my conviction stonger: the world needs Silverwolf. It needs organizations willing to fight back this wave of fear and hate that grows ever higher, and stand up for those that fall outside their artificial molds.

...That part with the ghost aliens took me for a loop, however. I didn't quite have that on my bingo card.