Gerard Spence's Questionnaire

"A 1987 Toyota Camry. You heard me right! With the divorce, the child support, the ailmoney I had to pay, the debt I have gotten from being in Yensid's employ, the food I need... To stay alive... Also to rot away in the back of my car, yeah... I'm dying slowly.

Yeah, tough tiddies I live in a car though, most don't even have a home. Speaking of which, the amount of money I have to pay for parking tickets is abysmal. Especially on company grounds. When I'm not in company grounds however, oh my...

Maikendo, in a God damn bunker. I hate to say this, but it's a home away from home, you know what I mean? Rent out a motel and just hang about in Maikendo after getting shit faced drunk 

Homes? Money? Just who do you think I am? A millionaire? Most of my money goes back into the company, while the rest gets eaten away by the vultures I call my ex wife and the lawyers that got me to pay 80% of my current earnings until my daughter turns 18. Which sucks ass, because that leaves me with shittttt.

I do have a side gig that I can't keep secret, because all that money isn't technically mine; it's my daughter's college fund...

Yeah, what? Of course I spend some money on Neo-Genis shit. Man's gotta have some hobbies that aren't drugs and alcohol.

Ambitions huh? Man, you really are knocking on the wrong door. That sorta thing died a long time ago, now if you were to ask what Corporate wants? Of course it's going to be to remain the massive conglomerate faction in Neo-Genis, being the head of marketing, free media and what not.

They're a company that sells ideas after all; and quite unfortunately, I'm their media forefront. If I go, they'll fire and replace me. Use the Corpse I used to sell their shit in order to advertise their clients wares using the character I built for them...

If anything, my ambition is to be free of everything... That being said... I feel like I'd die for that...

Arg, I need a drink.

I wasn't there for the birth of my child. Missed her first birthday you could say... There were many more others that followed that, that eventually I wasn't even given the opportunity to attend any more else.

Got me real invested in work. She filed for divorce a few years after, got the shit beaten out of me to the point I was bleeding from the wallet every which way... In the end, all I did was work. Work, and serve the company.

Mascot? I used to do voice work for their commercials, their series, even their films... I used to attend Corporate events, actually sponsored by Yensid in real life...

I didn't think much when they told me to join NEO-GENIS, now, I feel like I could escape there...

A sad state of affairs really. I miss my daughter.

There's not a tonne of people I trust, or even talk to. To be frank, I don't think I trust anyone... Apart from. Well...

Look, there's been a lot of shit that has changed over the months. I love my daughter; Clara. She's the light at the end of my tunnel, and sadly, I know I'm barreing down the bad end of the dark. I love her to bits, for years, every year, I tried my best with her... When I had her. Then, she was taken away, and I can no longer see her again. She took them away from me, and even though I can't see them, or talk to them anymore, if it means that she will be okay, I will die for her. I... There is no other thing that can reach her. I know that she won't know what happens to me, not until she's grown. I will leave the world, and my insurance behind, Luminous will help her with the cash. I know them, and I think I can trust them. I really do hope.

Then there's her, that kid I met in Neo. She's a strange one, but I'm trying to be better for her. For both her and, well, Clara... I want to be a better father... If I can't be for Clara yet, I will be for Task.

My Father?

He was the only one there. My mother, I don't know where she went. I was about 10 when she left. Screaming match in the middle of the night, that just ended in a long silence after that. My father came to my room that night, he just hugged me, and took me downstairs. We watched some Yensid Animation Bullshit all night, eating takeout and practicing drawing all day. I was shit then, but I guess that's the one thing that stuck with me.

We didn't talk much, we just understood that all we had was each other. Everyday I came back home from school, I'd tend to everything until he came back home late at night. Stinking like booze and shit, dear God, I became just like him. Ha! Just like him. A father that's been trying. He wasn't a bad father either. He couldn't attend my shit because of work, but I understood; he wanted me to follow my dreams... Saved up for me, and I did my best. I finally got to Yensid. When he died, I... I couldn't cry... I miss him.

We met on the Docks of Yensid World. I was on the tour of Creatives, roaming the grounds. She was a part of the Tour Guides.

I don't know what came over me but, she was a real smart ass... I didn't think it would lead to anything but resentment and hatred. Turned out, she was all the best parts that I was missing. I know I keep joking about her, how she's a vile woman who took my Clara away from me, when in actually, she was the Saint that I couldn't keep. I lost her. I got in too deep with Yensid. Prioritized work over her and Clara. I lost her.

She's dating someone new. As much as I hate the gay, I actually think they would be great for her... I hope they keep happy. I hope they take care of Clara.

Yensid could never allow me to.

Getting fired?

If I get fired, I lose my income. No income, no payments to Clara. If I stay, the payments remain, but, I'll never be able to be free of Yensid. It's a hard sacrifice that I have got to figure out. I want to help them all, I know there could be a way how. I've been thinking on it for a while...

But this just adds to my dear. I mean, what if I will never get free? What if my whole life, of trying to find a way to make happy, to make people happy never comes true in the end? I need this to go right. I have to. For my Dad, Clara, Task... Myself. All those in Maikendo even, ha! Fuck... I'm afraid of dying not making the best out of the people around me. I'm afraid of dying a disappointment and not being able to share my story. I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of going back to the days of isolation, without my dad, to be abandoned by those I love.

I don't want to be a bad person. I'm afraid of accepting Yensid.

I'm afraid of never being able to be myself.

I don't have any possessions left to cherish other than what I could take away. If it's something in the real world, I uh, used to keep a Collector's Edition of Yensid's 1920-60s animations. Hand drawn and such. I used to watch those films with my dad all teh time. I used to watch it with Clara when I had the time too.

It was lost, well, I had to sell it off in order to pay for Clara's field trip. The sacrifices I make huh? No possesion would ever replace the memories I have of my father, or my daughter for that matter. In Neo, I guess I would cherish a fucking Stenograph, and an old record of Ruth Etting. Why her? She made it. I love them, their voice and songs. A lot of them just remind me of what I am. If I ever were to lose my memories somehow, I hope these songs will bring me back.

Alcoholism, Drug Use, Painkiller dependence, overworking, debts, credits, bosses, supervisors, debuffs, buffs, learning new lings, writers not getting the script on time, lack of creative freedom, Yensid legal issues, Real life Legal issues, alimony, documentations issues, under dealings, overall mental issues. Abandonment issues, parental issues, marital issues, physical issues, medical issues or unrelating origins. Scholastic issues, transportation issues, economic issues, just issues. Animation problems, family problems, internal systems of the Yensid Employee list...

I think my biggest problem right now, it just Yensid. Yensid, that place that I loved, a dream of which I had for years. Those decades of worry; those days of concern, those endless nights of working, all for Yensid. I'm an addict, and sadly the drugs that I've been given was openly sponsored by Yensid. And I can't do anything about it just yet, but I am making some plans for it; one day I will break free.

Alarm hits, I wash my fucking face and get to the fucking day. Shower, gotta shower. Get to the office, get yelled at, like usual before I get to work. I do a couple of documents, administrate, and then get to the hub for recording. Accessing the Neo-Gen hub and talking to the Board regarding the day ahead. I will say, usually they aren't there, and it's just the representatives. They yell at me too. Different languages, so I don't fucking get it. I then do my job. Computer bullshit, audit reworks, voice dubbing, commercials, ad reads, guest talks, then that Mental Health Screening. The I have to attend someshit like walking to the grounds, supervising the young ones. Telling them allll about Yensid, their deals, what they can expect (In a good way). I am not legally allowed to say anything otherwise.

Oh, This all happens before 6 am.... I hate my life