Jimmy O'Flannegan's Questionnaire

I live in Kilkenny, Ireland. Lived here all my life. I love this place, and I put my roots down here when I opened a bar that people love. I'm the favorite bartender of a good portion of the town, and I'm somewhat of a local celebrity in the bartending space. I've built my whole life here and love everything about this place. And that's why I want to clean the rivers. I won't let my town be ruined by the polluted rivers from the bigwig factories that can't dispose of their crap for the life of them. I hate leaving home for my adventures, but I do what I do for my town and my people.

I earn my money running my bar. It's a great business; I got locals that come here every night just because they wanna support me. Most of my money goes to bills cause of course it does. Price of capitalism, eh? But when I get some spare money to spend on myself, I like to get wood and build stuff. It isn't all that pretty but the stuff I make has function, so it's good enough for me. My most recent project was this shelving system I built in the storage room in the bar so I could sort my stuff easier.

I want to clean the rivers of my town. They're disgustingly polluted. The local brewery I like to buy from is losing money cause they can't clean the local water enough to make enough product. I don't want them to go under; they supply my bar with everything! Not only that, but I remember when the rivers flowed clean. Such a beautiful sight. I remember we used to get the water from the river to clean our clothes and even make our tea. Hell, I remember when our water got cut off at home and we just used the river water until we could pay the bills again. And now, the factories have been dumping everything in the rivers without a care in the world. Disgusting. I would rather die than see my town ruined by them.

It was the first sickness. Someone got sick from drinking the river water. Not something that we'd seen before, no, it was something awful. More akin to poisoning than anything. Poor kid died after a week. He was 12. We were wondering just what was happening. That was, until the dad of the kid came to my bar and bought the most expensive whiskey I had. He was broke before. I was gonna give him a shot for free, but he slammed money on the counter. Then he told me bout how one of the factories paid him off to avoid a lawsuit. Turns out they know what they're doing. But we don't have enough money to stop em. But power...well, that's why i signed the contract.

The closest person in my life is my best friend Séan. He runs a grocery store. Grew up with the guy; met him in 3rd year. Been best friends ever since. I even introduced him to his wife. I joke he still owes me a wife but it's all jokes. He knows I could never hold down a relationship. Not like this, at least. Next person, probably my cousin Siobhan. I didn't have any siblings so my cousins were the closest I got, and Siobhan being my age led to us being the closest cousins. She moved away a few years ago to Australia as part of her work as a conservationist. Haven't seen her in person in a while. Last one...probably the old man who sold me the bar. Seamus was his name. He couldn't run it anymore and wasn't getting business anyway so he sold it to me. He was one of my regulars up till last year when he passed. His grandkids are good kids though; I see em round town and they call me Uncle Jimmy.

Childhood was good, if a bit boring. I enjoyed my time as a kid but I enjoy adulthood much more. My parents were...interesting. Being Irish you would expect my parents to be Catholics. And they were. But they did not practice what they preached. Dad was a drunk, Mom had easily 3 other men on the side. Despite all that though, they cared about me. Couldn't show it worth a damn but they did. Always kept me fed and in school so, in their own words, I could turn out better than them. I like to think I have. School was a bit rough cause of my parents reputations, but it wasn't too bad. Taught me to reject the Catholic church, which I'm glad I did. I didn't pay too much attention in class but I learned enough to learn how to be the best bartender in the Emerald Isle.

Nope. I'm aroace. I just...don't feel romantic love. Never have. Nor do I feel any kind of physical attraction. Never truly understood what love even was, which got me whupped by a nun more than once. Apparently not understanding love isn't an excuse to ask how we know Jesus loves all people. I've heard of people falling in love with other people's personalities but...I don't think that'll be me. I enjoy being alone. A loner, I guess you could call me. Not to say I'm antisocial, I love hanging out with people and even working with people, but I don't think I'll ever spend my life with someone.

Failure and betrayal. I remember my first betrayal; back when I was in primary school. Was told I could get the answers for a homework I was having trouble on if I went with them. So, I did, and then got jumped. Apparently my mom was close with one of these kids dads. Given what my mom was known for, I shudder to think about if I was related to that kid. But anyways, apparently they blamed my mom for their parent's divorce. So they attacked me. Five of em against one of me ended up better than I would have thought. I was able to get some serious damage in before I was down. They pummeled me but, well, we were kids. Got the fight broken up after I yelled at the biggest kid that "it wasn't my mom's fault his dad couldn't keep it in his pants." He was about to bash my head in with a rock when Sister Padraigan came running out and broke up the fight. Even though I was able to hold my own, I remember my mom's face when I got back. Blamed herself, she did. Kept saying she failed me. So yeah. Betrayal and failure...originating from that initial event.

My bar is my most prized possession. I get to do a fun job of making drinks for the people of my town while getting caught up on all the local news. I deal in secrets and therapy. Sometimes people just need a sympathetic ear to hear their plight, and that's what I'm here for. I pour em a drink, let em drown their sorrows, and listen to their problems. Sometimes they need some advice, and I try my best but I'm no expert. My advice tends to work though, so people like me. I get to say I run the town's safe space. There've only been a few fights broken out in my place. All of em ended with me literally throwing them out the door. I don't like it when people get violent. If you come into my bar, you come in to decompress from the stresses of the world. Not stress out my other customers.

I get up, and...well now I feed my dog first thing. Lovely lad named Chulainn; after the warrior of legend. He eats his food and then follows me as I make breakfast. I sneak him a bit of bacon every now and again, just cause he's a good lad. I make myself a pot of tea and then have a cup while I manage the finances of the bar. Get the boring stuff out of the way before my fun begins. If I have time after that, well, I like to give my neighborhood a good walking around, with Chulainn on the lead of course. I haven't told anyone why I needed to get him, but nobody asks so it's a win win. He loves the folks and even enjoys playing fetch with the schoolkids. Even the nuns like him. Surprising, given the nuns hate everything except the bible.

I would put on my finest suit. A pristine three-piece black and white suit that fits me perfectly. Been there with me since I bought the pub. Been in a few fights with it, too. It's got a little hole in the inside of it, but it isn't all that bad. I would also get myself nice and clean before the event. Shower and a beard trim. I trim the beard every once in a while when it gets too long but for a special event I comb it and cut the shaggy bits off. It would take me a while, prolly about an hour. I take my time getting clean just to make sure I get everything. And then I gotta get all my stuff. My phone, of course, but I also keep a knife on me. Just in case. I never want to be caught off guard in a fight.

First of all, if I make it to my next birthday. Lord knows I might just end up getting killed beforehand. But if I make it, well, I'll have a sale at the pub. Brings in more money, sure, but the community loves my pub's events. Last year when my birthday came around, the people brought me a ton of meat and fish pies and some cash and we partied all night. I stayed sober that night but the drink flowed like the Amazon river. Made a boatload of cash that night and got even closer to the folks in town. Couldn't be better than that.