Smoldep's Questionnaire

Smoldep was born in Ashford, Kent, though she was orphaned at an extremely young age and has no memories of her childhood. She suspects she was an escaped experiment of some sort. Hence she has never left the country, and spends her days roaming and hiding in abandoned buildings. She is currently shackled up in an abandoned warehouse that she is thinking of making her 'home base', where no one disturbs her and she can maintain a facade of a relatively average life. It has all the amenities she needs to do whatever the fuck it is that she does. She has bought and stolen some furniture to spice up her living space, making moving out again a tough choice.

The internet pays well for services that she just so happens to be good at. There's the SFW stuff which doesn't earn much but isn't useless, and the NSFW stuff which consists of the majority of her income. Thank fuck for onlyfans, and the subscribers Smoldep considers her only fans. There is one patron that pays extremely well, known to Smoldep only as xenoCharismaniac. She's kind of a freak for real. People just like catgirls. Smoldep mostly spends the money on video games and attempts to buy weapons or supernatural stuff, but that's not really something she has ever successfully done. 

God complex? She actaully finds her quite simple. It's her. It's herself. She's god. Whatever portion of her brain controls humility and empathy are eschewed, and her desire to childishly rule the world is her greatest ambition. She doesn't have any concrete plans for what she will do if she gets followers, it is just that she craves power and adoration. Bad character writing. She also has no qualms about murder, though she wouldn't do it unprovoked. But for her goals? Shoot before anyone can retort would be her strategy, or in her words, "just get good lol". She is far too psychopathic to be reasoned with. 

However, she does not want to die, and will not hesitate to run away from danger, making up some excuse or another as to why she couldn't simply solve the problem.

Defining event? Bitch I was always this awesome. I'm just that good, always has been, I knew I wasn't like any other weaklings from Orchid Springs the moment I was put into existence. That's your lame fucking answer I guess. I simply spawned in because I am such an epic gamer who doesn't need a backstory. I'm like that one character that isn't the main character but is better than the main character because of how crazy they are. And I have cooler stats and skills. So yeah. Of course I had to get good, so maybe my training is like the second biggest defining event.

Yeah, I can talk about my party members. There's this guy, Tamplite Siphron Kents, who I played Epic Battle Fantasy 4 with back in the day. When we both did epic shit like not go to school. That was the entire story of how we became friends. He speaks in a funny accent and has a thing against bats, which he calls fat birds. Idk what's up with that. We don't really keep in touch anymore though because he's busy being a nerd. Working on some RPG that he will like never fucking finish cause he's a weakling.

Then there's Pealie, who I met from like a similarish story. He was even more of a nerd than Tamp, but instead of being a computer geek he just writes a bunch of shit about 'monsters' and whatever. Literally no one ever reads what he writes lmao. But he was a weakling healer-type who needed my protection, just cause I felt bad for him and shit I would beat up his bullies or whatever.

Lastly there's me. Yeah right. I'm the fucking closest person in my life you literally cannot get closer than being in your own skin idiot. 

My childhood you mean my origin story? Ok nosy ass bitch I can tell you what's up. I was always a catgirl but at some point I was more girl than cat. I didn't become me until I was in my teens or whatever. Oh by the way I don't have parents. They are so dead and irrelevant to my fucking life. This is the life of an epic swag original character like myself. Parents would only tie me down. I did get forced to go to stinky nasty public school but I basically skipped it so much that I didn't actually go. Lmao imagine going to school and having parents couldn't be me. I still have a decent edukation. Finally I don't give a shit about fitting in because most peons are below me. NPC ahh behaviour amirite lads. I simply would not be an NPC by virtue of having a mysterious backstory. Yeah I don't actually know or care which means I win.

I'd fuck a clone have you seen this shit? If I had a clone I would probably fall in love with them. Or not. Maybe I would kill them to assert dominance. But tee bee aech I don't give a shit about romance. BORING snoozefest. The most cliche shit I've ever fucking seen. You are seriously telling me people will love each other so much that they do stupid things like not benefit themselves? Nah, I'd win. Obviously though I've dated before because I think breaking hearts is fun and entertaining and lastly free!! I like ghosting people on Tinder and edging the simps on my onlyfans.

I don't fear anything!!!!!

I know I am the best fucking character and therefore I don't have petty fears like most weaklings. What, some bitches are scared of the dark? They need their mommy to hold their hand? I can see in the dark and I'm an orphan, motherfucker. :3 I simply get good whenever there's a situation of some kind, cause I'm fucking epic and I rekt noobs for breakfast. In my opinion fear is kind of a nooblet.

If you're still trying to ask me some stupid shit like this, I'd say that I HATE laws and I HATE cops aka pigs but like I'm not fucking scared of them it's just sooo fucking annoying that this shit exists and I can't go on cool swag murder rampages whenever I feel like it. I think I deserve to maim and kill and bite as a little treat OwO but the fucking narcs on this world ruin my fun. Like I don't want my ass in prison, I have important shit to do and the people need my Smoldepalicious aura. Anyone that is in my way I just see as annoying as fuck bro. Get the fuck out of my way yknow? 

I like my gun :3

Guns are sexy as fuck and I am the sexiest being therefore me with a gun is the best thing in da world! I ENJOY shooting people in the head. And my firearm lets me do that ez gg no re. It's kind of a Fortnite reference and as an epic gamer I gotta be on that elimination grind 24/7. I put stickers on it to show that it's mine and to stick out from the fucking normies. Ain't no one is taking this pistol from me. And even if they do I'll just fucking claw them to death like the meatstick they are lol. Still not as fun as shooting people in the head and seeing their blood fly all over the goddamn place. Heh. 

Then I have my gamer setup with the legendary KFC console. I do every single type of gaming so I have every piece of tech for fuckign GAMING ever in my house. And they all are of equal value to me since I'm such a pro gamer.

What da fuck. I don't have any fucking problems. I'm the perfect specimen because I'm built different. The only problem is that this society of dweebs do not recognize my epicness!! And that there is a stupid little thing called "the law". I don't know what the big deal over that is. Some old guys ages ago wrote on a piece of paper like a buncha fucking nerds and now pigs are a thing. Ewww. Oh well :/ Society if I had more worshippers. I really want to start a cult and I think I could do it. My followers on onlyfans are kinda already that anyway lmao. If only I wasn't surrounded by weaklings then I could achieve my final form of being god!!! That's why these contracts are swagalicious, cause I can get more superpowers and then also get the chance to use them to commit gr8 acts of violence to people who don't deserve it lmao!

I wake up and I'm just that good.

Funny you say morning because I think only losers actually wake up in the morning. I don't get up until 1 in the afternoon then the first thing I do is make sure I have my gun on me, its normally tucked into bed next to me. My precious little thang. I stroke it long and hard. Then I play Fortnite battle royale until I get at least 6 victory royales in a row which I can do easily because I'm just that fucking awesome. When I'm bored I take a bath because people don't like it if I don't douse myself in water? I also have to do something called brushing my teeth but its so boring so I have to play Subway Surfers at the same time I do that. Lastly I find myself a nice bird to hunt and eat raw. :3

Smoldep believes in all-natural baby, the most she’ll do is shower and wear something promiscuous. Maybe some cheap perfume. Her demeanour of course, won’t change at all. In fact she would be so self-inflated that it’d probably get worse and she would try to make herself the star of an event. She would ‘speedrun getting ready’ and flex about how quickly she does it ‘compared to other girls’. 

Though her pride wouldn’t turn down getting dolled up for something fancy, though she only cares about money in that regard and none for taste. That is to say she’d try to waste as much of the person paying’s money as possible, buying literally anything in the process. If you gave her a million dollars she would find some absurd way to spend it all. Probably on guns.

Yes, an important aspect not to forget is that she’d have at least 2 guns on her at all times no matter what event she was going to

Smoldep’s favourite way to spend a birthday is in what she calls a ‘mosh pit’. Not to be confused with an actual mosh pit, instead she expects her friends to get together and basically have a free for all death battle in a room no bigger than a sauna. Maybe in a literal sauna. She would participate too of course, and be careful, the birthday girl bites. This display of violence cheers her on more than any kind of present or cake. Though she wouldn’t mind cake either. Her favourite flavour is rainbow sprinkles! 

Anyone who doesn’t bring her a gift will be executed.

Bruh this shit is obvious why do you even have to ask?! It is ALL ME. Fuck those weirdo looking Harbingers, they just show up to give me quests to do. I am gitting good on my own and soloing these Contracts with or without more powers. The only power I need is being an epic catgirl and also the power of this fucking gun I found! I mean yeah right now the only thing those bozos really gave me is the knowledge on how to make these weirdass fucking collapsible guns. They don’t even do 9 trillion damage so I don’t know why they expect me to be grateful for such shitty gift. They should get back to me when they can give me a gun that does a zillion damage and kills everyone I want to kill Immediately!! Unfortunately they aren’t doing allat. Cope and mald HarCRINGERS. My natural excellence carries me gg no re!!