Mike Carson's Questionnaire

I live in Lawrence, KS, mainly because of my uncle George.  George Caird got me in a way that no one else ever did.  My parents were so enamored of my twin sisters (Marie, the Lawyer and Sarah the Psychiatrist) that me fumbling my way through trade school escaped their notice, but uncle George believed in me, and got me my first job as a mechanic.   Over the years he continued to believe in me, saying a man that can work with his hands deserves as much respect as any ivy-leaguer. 

Uncle George passed away last year.  He left me his big old house, and a small garage here in Lawrence that gets plenty of business, but I don't do much of anything extravagant.   Sarah still keeps in touch and helps talk me through things. Mom and Dad have all but written me off.  They can have New York.

My Uncle George left me a few things.  He left me his old house outside Lawrence with a few acres of land. He left me his pristinely maintained electric blue 1969 Dodge Charger.  He Left me Caird Garage, on the edge of the property here.  For a little one man shop, it's got a surprisingly healthy business volume.  I always wondered how he kept up with so much, but he left me one other thing, too.  A rune book.  

See, Uncle George, and a lot of our family back through the years, apparently, had a kind of power that they could channel through markings called runes.  Apparently one that he used quite a lot let him fix damn near any kind of car in almost no time. I found the book in one of his tool chests, with a note to me, like he always knew I'd need it.  Like he knew I'd have to learn it without him.  Hell, maybe he did, I don't know. I know he left me enough notes to figure out this repair rune, and it lets me move cars through fast enough to keep ahead and study too. Not gettin' rich, mind, but life's a lot cheaper when you can start with broken junk and bring it back to life like - heh - magic. 

So that's how I'm making my way now, just can't let anyone see me do it.  Make my own hours, which is nice. It's quiet, which is also nice. 

Not sure what you want me to say here, probably something poetic like "unlocking my family secrets" or "solving inequality" but I'm not poetic. Look, I just think that a person who works hard to take care of themselves or their family or whatever their responsibility is doesn't deserve the shit end of the stick while the fancy-asses that were born with everything get to buy their third yacht. I think the work a person does should matter and good people don't deserve to go hungry or do without when there's plenty.  Some people look at me funny when I start to talk that way. The shit's rigged from day one and there's only so much "put your head down and don't complain" that people can hear.

On the other hand, i don't wanna go blowing up statues in the middle of a city.  What's that about? Who did it help?

I got a little somethin.  So I try to give back. Now with these runes I have more, so maybe I aught to give more. The more I figure out, the more I can do for me and everybody around me. 

Would I kill? I'd kill a man who was trying to kill me, or people I love. Probably one who was trying to hurt or kill innocent people. Just for power? God, I hope not.

Would I die?  Don't plan on it anytime soon.  If someone else says different, well... see above. 

My folks kind of turned their back on me. Oh they didn't disown me or anything like that, just kind of, you know, left me be when i didn't follow my big sisters off to college. This was just kind of a thing, lots of kids aren't their parents' favorite. What mattered was Uncle George giving me a chance.  See, a lot of people get down on their luck, and get desperate.  They get into a spiral of bad situations and they make worse decisions.  I had some friends like that. Things didn't end well for them. 

George got me out of New York, got me working and making my own way, and kept me out of that path. Without that I might very well be a man I wouldn't recognize, or want to. Hell, I might not be here at all. That's why it's important for people to get a chance to break that cycle. coming close to that, and getting a way out has made me want to do the same for others ever since. 

Uncle George isn't alive anymore, but he's definitely still in my life.  This whole Rune thing that he's left me is pretty much taking up my life right now. It's weird, cause I've never been a heavy study or research guy, but this feels easy somehow.  I've talked a lot about George already so I'll just say this: I've never met anyone what couldn't say George Cairn was a fair and honest guy. 

My sister Sarah has kept in touch.  Even likes to talk through stuff with me, mostly about George's death but some other things too. She just doesn't want to lose a brother, and she's the only reason i would consider setting foot back in New York. Unlike Marie.  My sister Marie (the lawyer) still thinks of me as a troublemaker that embarrasses the family. With some of the clients she works for, I kind of feel the same about her. Too bad my folks see it her way.

Childhood was about normal for someone with really career focused parents.  they weren't around a lot and when they were, it was perform or be ignored.  I was an ok student but never great, and my sisters got the brunt of the attention for being academics.  I kind of fell in with a rough crowd in school, and that made me a problem the family tolerated rather than a true member of it.  By high school I was running around with some rough thugs and had basically dropped out when Uncle George intervened.  Looking back i think he kept me from getting into a lot worse shit, since most of the guys i used to hang around with are in jail now for one reason or 'nother.  Mom and Dad seemed geld to be rid of me at 17 and George brought me down to Kansas to "put your ass on the straight and narrow". The rest you kind of already know.

Daisy Sinclair, my junior year of high school.  She was the perfect girl next door at first glance and had a taste for a bad boy.  At first it was just teenage hormones but i don't know.  I think I caught a bug that in some ways I'll never shake. We lost touch when i moved down here and I think she ended up wising up and going off to college, but i still think about her some nights, dumb as that sounds.  A lifetime ago and I can still smell her perfume like she was just in the next room. 

Now you sound like my Sister.  I guess I try not to think about it much, cause fear just seems to get in the way, you know?  But if I had to answer, I guess it would be not having a legacy. I don't have kids, and not even a girlfriend, let alone a wife.  Most of the family barely talks to me, but now I've got this big family secret and no one to pass it on to if something happens to me. And with these new jobs it seems like something will, eventually. I Just don't want what's left of Uncle George to die with me cause of some stupid mistake I'm bound to make.  

I don't really care if my folks ever know.  I love them, but that's just a function of biology I guess.  Neither side likes each other very much. Sarah tries to be the bridge, God bless her and I'm grateful, but that's got to be hard on her. I've been thinking lately maybe I should let her in. Show her everything and have someone, somewhere who really knows.  Who could go to the Scribe if I ever just stopped answering and see what happened to me. That would be nice, just to know someone was out there to do that.

Most everything I really care about comes from someone I love or something I've done.  For example, the things my Uncle left me - the house, the rune book, and his Gerber. Those all remind me of the kindness he showed me and the way he stepped an and became a second father to me.  The family rune book showed me part of him i never got to know while he was around, and a part of me I didn't know existed. (I hope that librarian's keeping it safe.)  That fancy magic quill i got up north reminds me of how I started this contracting gig and how it's changed me.  That fancy magic video game is a world all its own, and hell, maybe when the big one comes for me I'll retire there.  The point is the stuff itself is never as important as the people and experiences it brings to mind.  Those are the things that really matter and the things that anyone will really hold onto. 

Oh wow, that's a tough one.  To be honest, in my own personal life, I'm feeling pretty good right now. the shop has me taken care of, I'm doing well on these contracts, and as of the last one I made  several months of pay in a couple of days.  I'm not really hurting for anything that I can think of. 

Makes me nervous answering this question like this, cause the minute you brag about how it's all going right it all goes wrong. 

But it does make me think about the people who aren't as lucky.  People who are trying their damnedest to do things the right way and take care of their families and obligations that just keep having "life happens" moments wreck the progress they've managed to make. I want to set something up to find those folks and help them get back where they need to be.  

I'm an up early kind of guy, alarm at 5:30, Nice hot shower in the morning to get me going.  Clothes aren't anything fancy, Jeans, work boots, and a work shirt, probably from the dryer, but maybe on a hangar if i was especially motivated when I last did laundry. Fix some eggs and toast if I've got time, or just some coffee if not, but usually i can afford time for breakfast.   Head over to the shop and get whatever is being picked up that day sorted first, out front with keys and bills ready, then take a look at what's due to go on the rack.  most of the jobs get the rune treatment, but sometimes I get something big where I'll have to pull parts till i get down to what I can use the magic on.  Also see if any of them look fun enough to actually do the work by hand (I do enjoy the job too, you know). 

Well, I had this very situation come up a couple of jobs ago, got invited to a fancy dinner by the guy that turned out to be our employer (maybe a harbinger, who knows)  So clothes, for sure, not wearing the shop fare.  Nice slacks or blue suit pants are the order of the day for something like that.  Probably black oxford shoes too, with a competent shine, nothing military-grade.  My dress shirts, I'm told, look like they belong on the set of a western, so maybe I should update those with some of this extra money I've raked in.  Need to pick up a jacket that isn't just my Carhartt or my riding jacket too, something presentable. If I'm going to be scooting around the world rubbing elbows with god-knows-who maybe i should find a way to make my wardrobe be a bit more worldly while I'm at it, and not just look like a yokel from Kansas.

Haven't even thought about it.  Probably end up in some dive bar a too drunk for my own good Sarah isn't likely to come down from New York and the rest of them can fuck right off.  I have friends in town, but no one close really, and I'm not necessarily a "birthday party" kind of guy.  Don't know about going to Vegas or somewhere like that.  Maybe to a beach, but here lately that runs a high risk of contract work (heh)  Now that the bike is done, I could take a long weekend and ride somewhere I guess. That and a nice steak dinner would suit me just fine. Oh, and pie. 

It's be a cliche to say i don't have regrets, as well as a lie.  Everybody has them, I just don't like to get bogged down too much.  Move forward, right?  Since you want to know, though, here goes:

I regret wasting so much time being angry as a kid.  Yeah my folks' attitude was shitty and all, but I let it drive me to act like a little dumbass and get involved with shitty people in a spiral that only made things worse with them.  Then when George took me out of New York, I was a hotheaded punk who didn't appreciate what he was doing for me at first.  People who tried to reach out and be good to me suffered my bad attitude and more than a few got driven away because I had my head up my ass about things.  

I wish I could get back the time I lost being mad at the world, and just enjoy those days with people who genuinely wanted better for me.  There.  Biggest regret I can think of.

It seems to be a combination of things.  My family have been using rune magic a long way back, apparently, but usually it takes years to master properly, and instruction besides. They weren't contractors though.  Contractors seem to be, I don't know, built different(Rebuilt different?) by the jobs they do.  For me, most times I go on a job I come back with some kinda inspiration for a new rune, or new way to run power through one.  That quill has helped, too.  Got its own magic in it and i think the scribe kinda "got" me when he made it cause it's perfect for a bunch of what I do, and it lets me get other people to help sometimes with the upgrades.  I think this stuff depends a lot on me though, cause most things seem to be based on stuff I know.  Fixing machines and such, fighting, you know.  It's probably why the tattoos are the hardest part.  They aren't something I already did so they take a long while to get right even with the quill.  that's my guess anyway.

Look, I got faith. You do you, but I believe in my lord, Jesus Christ.  I'm no scholar, and no preacher, but I can tell you he works and has worked in my life.  He sent Uncle George to teach me, and he's helped me stay on a better path.  

Now I'm no fanatic, No Westboro Bro, no Son of Salem or anything like that. My relationship with God is mine and what you believe is yours.  I'll pray for anyone that needs it but I'm not gonna brow beat anyone with it cause that's just no way to live or treat people.  There's a lot in this world that we don't know or get.  There's a lot I'm sure we'll only find out on the other side.  I choose to believe something bigger than me or you is out there, and is worth learning from and paying attention to.  

I guess I don't have that problem as much as most. I went into this mess already knowing a little magic, so less shocks me than maybe other people. I can tell you when I found out about my family legacy it was a hell of a shock, and maybe felt like a bit of a betrayal that George never told me, but honestly for a lot of that time i wasn't ready, and I might not have learned it the right way or done the right things with it if i had known much younger.  

Mostly the parts of contracts that disturb me are the human parts. The things I see people doing to each other and especially to kids. People can be shitty to each other but it gets me deep down when kids get hurt and shit on and I keep seeing that.  I think I'm gonna talk to Isaac about the kind of jobs he's taking cause if I'm gonna do this merc thing with him, I gotta know that whatever shit we get into, we're gonna keep kids out of it. If he can do that I think it'll work for me, and give me resources to do some good shit maybe. Sometimes you got to get your hands a little dirty to do right.

Well, I'm working for Isaac, Ex Russian military guy who took his squad and started his own mercenary company.  He take charge of a situation well, treats his men well and looks out for them, seems to deal fairly with people, and has a soft spot for kids.  Some people say he's in it for the power, but we all got vices.  in a world as fucked up as contracting, you find someone you can depend on and you stick with em unless they give you a reason not to. So far he hasn't.

Most other guys I've only seen once or twice.  Done some horse trading and mostly come out ok.  A few itch the back of my neck but i mostly don't engage with them.  One might have done something really stupid. I hope I'm wrong. 

One was a Doctor by the name of Vel. traded me for a really nice shield charm. Wanna get on his good side. 

There's nothing like a workshop that is all yours.  That's why i worked alone at the shop for a long while, cause sharing a workspace is ok but there is something special about having that space to fix and create things where it's your domain.  The tools you choose, everything in the place you need it and want it, the projects that mean something to you an d the freedom to control your work.  I loved it at the garage back in Lawrence and i love it in the Machine Shop here on the ship.  Isaac give me free reign on it and I've stocked it and set it up where I feel i can handle whatever I want to and whatever we need me to. It lets me connect with the work and take other shit out of my mind, and getting lost in the work is healing for the soul.

I try to help people.  Be fair about it.  When I ran the shop I wasn't going to charge people the full book for jobs I could do in minutes.  It worked out well for everyone.  They got quality, holistic repairs cheaper than they could anywhere else, and I made a living and had time to learn and grow that power.  That was what i originally wanted to do with this magic was find ways to make everything a better deal for the little guy, before i saw just how cruel people were being to the defenseless among us.  

Now i kind of try to do the same with Contractors.  when I'm on a job, if it'll further the job and help everybody win, I'll boost up people's gear, and when it comes to more permanent help, I try to deal fairly with people.  I don't try to rip people off, but I'm not a charity either.  If it feels a bit mercenary to say that, well, look who I work for.

I think they say that I'm a human being, damnit.  I want to believe most people(not most Contractors, as a group we're pretty fucked up) aren't ok with killing someone, or torturing them. Most people have lines they won't cross when dealing with people who aren't hurting anyone else.  Now, would I kill a killer? Probably.  A monster that's hurting people? Yes. 

But people throw "monster" around as an excuse a lot, and a lot of the real monsters are human beings who think they are self-righteous.  What they will do to someone just because they look or live differently, or just because they are weaker and can't stop it? That's monstrous.

If a grown man, creature, whatever, gets themselves into trouble they can't get out of that's on them.  But when you visit violence on innocents, you're no better than a rabid dog.  And we know what you have to do with those...

"The Man Comes Around" by Johnny Cash, I think speaks to my sense of justice and my faith. That whether here on earth or in the final judgement, people will get what's coming to them 

"Born to be Wild" by Steppenwolf and "I can't drive 55" by Sammy Hagar are both anthems of people who like fast machines.  I am at my boldest on the road, and am willing to push that limit as far as my will and skill will take me.   

"Simple Man" by the Charlie Daniels Band speaks to my time in Lawrence, who my uncle was and tried to teach me to be, and my desire to see the corrupt, the violent, and especially predators of innocents punished for their ways.

"Short Change Hero" by The Heavy.  Just because I'm trying to do right by  those I care about doesn't make me a white knight.  Sometimes your hands get dirty. Sometimes you have to get them dirty. 

"Carry On my Wayward Son" (I prefer the Kansas version)  This is the journey.  before and after the magic, the contracts, this is all of it.  This is what you tell yourself so that you keep going when it all seems to have gone to shit, because otherwise...

"Highway to Hell" by AC/DC is pretty well where I fear I am.   Let's face it, these contracts push limits, and I've done shit I'm not proud of already. I've killed people who were doing their job and told myself I was ok because they swung first.  I've seen what some of these guy on jobs do and turned a blind eye.  I want to hunt down a man because of something i can't prove he did(but I know it.  Bone-deep) What happens when I cross that line and become the mad dog myself?

I'm never going to shot down everyone who abuses their power against the innocent and vulnerable.  New assholes begin taking their shit out on kids every day, normal and supernatural.  it would take a tide of me  and even then it won't end.  the point is to make the difference you can, do the good you can, stop the evil you can, and always be looking for the next one.  If i could control everyone everywhere and force them to leave kids alone I'd represent exactly the kind of dangerous power that can't be allowed to live and thrive, because even if I'm using it for good right now, who is to say I will forever.  "Bailing against the tide" as they say.  Maybe I can turn a few hearts and minds, or build some safer places, and maybe i leave the world a little better than I found it, but I never get to be done. I'll run out of luck long before I run out of predators.

Oh Hell, don't get me started.  Mess with my tools, mess with my bike, mess with my friends and the folks who've been loyal to me.  I have a protective streak a mile wide.  If you identify something that means something to me (or I identify it for you) it's best to treat it with some damn respect. If you don't, you're likely to see me go off.  

Blowing a job in a stupid way. I've been guilty of heading that way myself, but I got caught and turned around on it. None of us is here as some passing fancy.  Folks die on these crazy schemes every day. We aren't press-ganged into this and we can quit anytime so if we're still around through the danger and the blood and the what-the-fuckery it's because we have a reason to be, so pay attention and take the job seriously. On a side note to this is bringing personal beef into the job. I've worked a contract with the man I most want to throttle the life out of in this world, but for the job and for the other two coworkers on it, I held back. We did the job. we'll meet up and have it out at some point but not at the expense of folk with no stake in it. 

And of course, the big one.  Hurting innocents, especially kids.  There is no damn reason.  I've been on jobs where folks, even kids, were driven insane by whatever wibbly shit was happening around them and even then it was my first reaction to stop it. if there is something so screwed up going on that a kid is fully threatening your life in an immediate way, do what you have to do but be prepared to defend it.  But don't hide behind bigotry or self righteousness when you pick a fight and kill a kid's parents and then murder them, even by negligence, because you "had to be sure".  No, you didn't. you could have walked away, or just not started shit in the first place.  Reap what you sow. 

I don't.  

I know two words isn't really an answer to this but I'm a pretty straightforward fellow.  What you see is what you get.  I stand by the walk of my life: stumbles, falls, and wayward paths included. Have I always done the right thing by everyone I met? Hell no.  I've been pretty clear I was a little shit before I came to Lawrence. About the only secrets I have are my abilities, and then it's only when it's a safety issue. I'd really rather be open and I think if I get to the point where boogeymen dropping out of the sky to snatch me up would be afraid to do so, I'd probably just take the plunge.  I guess the other reason i don't is it'd make life kind of shit for Izaac.  He's lived a lot of shit and he doesn't trust.  His secrets have secrets.  Near as I can tell he's shot level with me, but you never completely know I guess. He must have his reasons. But me?  I am what I am.