Gaston Sarn's Questionnaire

Ann Arbor, Michigan. I inherited a house there when my father passed away. I know the layout of the area which helps with my work. The home is a duplex, although it wasn't always designed as such. My dad had it renovated after my mom passed away. Front door goes into the rental unit, rear door on the driveways goes to the back. The place is a bit of a mess inside, although it's more all these tools and resources I haven't thrown kept up on the floor. I'm not a hoarder or anything. Got a big chest freezer stocked with tv dinners and frozen pizzas, and some canned food and kraft dinner in the kitchen since I can't really cook.

Well, I rent out the other part of the duplex which covers part of it. I burgle for the rest of my money. Mostly spend it on gaming. I got a computer, all the newest consoles, I play all the new games. I guess all the premade stuff I get is more expensive than just cooking your own food so that adds up. Gym membership, property taxes, electricity, internet, water, car insurance and the lease. And my pets. The old cat needs meds for a sinus infection and the old basset hound's always needing eye drops. Plus, I gotta have some money saved up for whenever I meet the right girl.

I want to find someone who will love me for who I am, and not just dismiss me for not being handsome. Hardly anybody ever gives me the time of day, and when they do it's usually just to make fun of me. I mean, I guess it's not just that, because even when they do notice me and don't make fun of me, all I can manage to do is mumble. I have confidence when it comes to everything else, but socially I'm just a mess.

Sure I'd kill for it. There's all kinds of stories of people who risk life and limb for their one true love. I might not be prince charming, but I'm sure I could be a knight in shining armor if all I got was just one chance.

I think the most defining event of my life was the first time I picked a pocket. I've always been pretty sneaky, and good with my hands. This guy at school had just finished humiliating me and I just wished I was invisible. I think everyone makes that kind of wish sometimes when they're embarrassed. But I was still mad at having been treated that way. Anyway, I wished real hard and gently yanked his wallet out of his back pocket and stowed it away. Even with all the people around, nobody noticed. I realized that people would just rather not see me if they could help it, and that there were a lot of opportunities out there for people like that.

I hope people in my life can be kind of vague. There's Kevin, who rents the other part of my duplex, but I think he prefers to pretend I'm kind of a ghost. At least he pays his rent on time and I never have to hassle him.

Mark Bryant fences stuff for me. I don't know what kinds of connections he has - I guess it's on a need to know basis. Only that he takes a pretty big cut out of the value of whatever I manage to nab. He was always skipping class and doing drugs in the sugar bowl behind a hill on the far side of the football field. He caught me one time when my fingers were sticky, but didn't blab. He just came up and told me that he saw what I did and said he'd keep quiet if I gave him a tenner from the wallet. When I got the great idea of burglarizing places he was more than happy to resell whatever I got my hands on.

Other than that, my two best friends in the world are my cat Tom and my basset hound Burrito. Pets count as people, right?

I was a lonely child. My ma was quebecois, which is why my first name is french, but she died when I was young. I guess I knew how to speak a bit at one point but since there was never anyone but her and she passed away before I got any sort of fluency, I don't really remember any of it. My pa was a locksmith. Not like a petty criminal sort of locksmith, like someone who makes and sells and opens locks for people on a purely above board basis. I loved them a lot. The other kids at school and even some of the teachers always sort of looked down on me because my face is a bit weird, and it makes me feel pretty insecure, but they never made me feel that way. The few times I thought I'd made a friend always ended up being some kind of way to make a joke at my expense.

Yeah. I had a crush on a girl in high school. You know, around that time when girls stop being icky but you're still so drenched in hormones you don't know what to do about it. I'm too embarrassed by the memory to even write her name here. She wasn't exactly nice to me, but she never took part when people would try to put me down either. She didn't seem to like it. After two years, in eleventh grade, I got her some valentine's chocolates and asked if she'd consider going on a date with me. I don't even really know where I got the kind of courage to pull a stunt like that. I'm laughing to myself just remembering it. She didn't even consider it worth a proper response. She looked at me like I was some kind of insect and stormed off without accepting the gift. I did my best to avoid her line of sight from then on.

I don't exactly have the strongest of wills. I get shaken kind of easily. I mean, I think maybe I have different sensibilities than most people, like maybe I'm kind of detached from society and that sort of thing. I always have to steel myself and kind of swallow to get my heart back in my chest when I'm talking to people I don't know. I just always think about how poorly that kind of thing usually goes for me. Even the contractors I work with usually aren't very nice to me. I mean I can always kind of do my fading thing but it's tough to do that and still be ready for the kinds of life-or-death situations on these jobs. At least even though they're rude I have confidence that my skills make it unlikely that they'll betray me though.

I'm also kind of scared of getting like properly messed up on the job. Not like dying, 'cause if I die it's just like over, right? But I mean, I already look the way that I do and if I get messed up or humiliated at the kinds of things I am good at how would I explain that to my as-of-yet unmet true love to be? I've got to have some kind of virtue going for me since I can't look good or talk well or anything like that.

My crossbow's a good one. Dad got it for me when I was 13. Been hunting with it. Kept me alive on my first job. Really nice piece.

I'm real fond of the revolver I got on that first gig too. This old pistol, I just don't know, man. You'd figure a WW2 era piece like this just wouldn't be so great but it just feels right. I was gonna sell it 'cause a mint like this's gotta be worth a pretty penny to the right party but it's quickly become something sentimental for me. First job, saved my life, yada yada. I like it, and I'm keeping it.

My pad's one too. I grew up in this house. The only people who ever treated me the way I deserve lived here. All my memories are tied up in this place. I don't really have any heirlooms or anything else to remember them by.

I've been doing these jobs, and that's pretty cool and all, but I'm still missing out on my biggest issue. Where do I find true love? I mean, I've got my pets and I had my parents and all, but I feel like it's not the same thing. I guess maybe true love is romantic? You might be thinking, "but Gaston, you're doing all this dangerous stuff, you're burgling houses, you're always getting shot at, you recently got your leg blown off, you did this, and that and it's all a big problem" but those just aren't my priorities. I mean, my goal here is to find something and I don't even know where to start looking. Or what exactly to be looking for, come to think of it. I don't even know what it looks like. I mean you read about it in books and see it in media, but that's usually after it's already bloomed. What does the seedling of it look like?

I'm... not a morning person. I usually face the world a bit after that, really. The morning's usually when I tuck in for the night day. But usually I wake up around 4 in the afternoon, make sure my pets are all taken care of, do a bit of gaming, and then I'll shower and get dressed and take Burrito for his walk. He doesn't always want to go. Sometimes Tom walks along with us. He seems to enjoy it more. Burrito's not big on walking. More of an eater and a snoozer.

So the pets are taken care of, I've had my leisure, and I'm all ready for the night. So I get myself together and look for some places to work my way into, grab anything valuable that looks light enough to carry, bring it over under the cover of night to my placed-away car, and bring it over to Mark.

I don't know much about the kind of special events where you need to look your best. I have a pretty ugly mug too so I probably wouldn't be welcome in that kind of place either. Come to think of it, the best thing for me to do would be to look as non-descript as possible. I'd probably just try to blend in, not draw attention to myself, and that would suit me pretty well. I'm pretty canny at not being noticed in social situations. I guess I'd try to go with the most generic clothes for the event possible. It'd take me a bit to look into it, y'know. Plain looking suit for a funeral. Probably some shades and a floppy hat for the beach, assuming beaches are a place for special events. However long it'd take me to figure that out and get it ready. I'd also have to steel myself mentally for being around so many people.

I guess for such a special occasion, I'd probably try to set up a special heist. Steal something big. I'd get a bit of cake, something I could share with Burrito and Tom without making them sick or nothin. Probably some nice milk-based icing for Tom, and Burrito'll eat anything that ain't well outta reach and such. Anyway, once the little celebration with my critters is taken care of, I'll probably set out for the heist. Maybe Galligan could set me up with something special. I need to talk to him about more work. Or maybe whatever it was that Sir Hollysmith wanted me to take care of. That guy could probably throw a heck of a party too, and he'd probably be inclined if I did a bit of work for him.

I don't really know that I regret anything that I've done. I do regret the way that things are sometimes though.

I regret looking so bad. I regret not being good at talking to people. I partly regret having to make my way through the world the way that I do. It's not that I um... Like, I like my work, and I like that I'm really good at it. I just kind of wonder if the grass would be greener on the other side. It's not that I think it always is, just that I wonder, sometimes.

I kind of regret losing my parents. I mean, it's not like I did anything to them. I just miss them a lot. Not that there's anything wrong with Burrito and Tom. But, sometimes I think it would be nice to have parents that love me, and aren't just dead in the ground.

I don't think my gifts stem from my inherent potential, or that the harbingers just grant my wishes.

My gifts seem to revolve around spectral phenomena. Mainly in ways that suit my talents as a thief, but not necessarily. It is kind of nice that I can obscure what I look like. That way people don't have to look at my face without me having to go around in a mask. I also seem to have a supernatural sort of speed to me now, and I can make myself stop existing. You ever feel like that? Like, you're in a situation and you wish you were invisible or you weren't there? I've felt that way. I've felt that way a lot. But I can do that now! Maybe that did count as a wish after all. Recently, I got another great power. I can snatch up unattended things now without even having to touch them. They get spirited away or something.