Thief (7H13F)'s Questionnaire

An unassuming apartment in an unassuming city in an unassuming state… At a glance, it seems normal. Average. Typical. But a normal clam can hide the biggest pearls…. Coal makes diamonds…. And I am the gemstone. I don’t really know much about my city except that Bricktown is pretty cool (they have laser tag there…). I was forced to begin in such ordinary environment because my mom and dad ‘had to move’ because there were rats or something back in Chicago. It was stupid. This new town is stupid. It’s barely even a REAL city. Our new apartment is bigger, which is kind of cool, but, like, who cares?? Nobody at my new school even wants to be a hacker. The only good thing is that I get to start a new persona for myself… this time all my classmates will HAVE to recognize my awesomeness. Maybe they’ll even get to do a sleepover or something… show off my cool comic book collection — or maybe my RACECAR BED??? That’ll be so cool… they’ll think I’m awesome.

Sometimes, my grandma sends me a card with money for the holidays. Sometimes, dad leaves a few dollars lying around. Sometimes, I find spare change while I patrol the neighborhood…. These vast fortunes help me to achieve my goals of hacking prowess… I get cool games from Steam in my laptop and they train my reaction timing. I also buy books and stuff on technology and how to be a better hacker. There’s like. A billion things I NEED to buy, but my parents don’t even give me a freaking allowance. Not since when I tried to subscribed to a onlyfans page with the allowance debit… why are they even freaking WATCHING what I spend MY money on??? What the freak. It’s like they don’t even trust me anymore….

This may shock you…. But magic is REAL. Ok. So. There’s a website, right? Called CryptoLeak. They let anybody upload uncensored videos of REAL monsters and magic and stuff. Somehow the government can’t even stop them… it’s crazy. But that means that there’s real magic weapons. Guns. Swords. Amulets. Powers even somebody like me could just… grab and run away with. People upload to the website because it’s got like crazy good protections — but if I’m a good enough hacker I can find out where the people are uploading the things from… I can track them down and then get all the magic for myself! I’ll be the coolest guy ever! No one can make fun of me then, when I can shoot fireballs and fly and stuff!

I mean, they already wouldn’t. Because I’m such a good hacker and stuff… but then they really, really wouldn’t. So I got to. No matter what.

When I was 12, I watched one of my dad’s movies when he and mom were out on date night. It was this old movie where a guy is given a pill and he realizes everything is actually a computer simulation - and he uses his cool brain powers to be able to do anything. He hacks the system and wins and it’s AWESOME.

i knew then that I needed to become just as awesome… so I started training my hacking skills. It was really really boring at first, but once you start learning how it works it’s awesome! It’s like - real superpowers on the internet! If you know how to, you can do ANYTHING!!! You can find out where someone is, you can make your own website, you can change everything around you! You can win every game and become the most best at anything…. As long as it’s online. Some day, I’m gonna do it in REAL LIFE just like the guy from the movie…

Mr. Smith is my computers class teacher, and he’s my favorite. The only good part of moving here was him. He saw how good I was at doing computers that he gives me special lessons instead of the basic typing and stuff he teaches other kids… there’s a programming class for older students and he also teaches that one too - I can’t wait for it!! He’s also cool because he has a name like the bad guys from the cool movie I liked which I think is awesome.

Jimmy is my best friend, but he lives in Chicago. We still talk on our Discord server but it sucks that we can’t hang out anymore… I miss him a lot because he’s the only guy who’s as cool and awesome and misunderstood as me. He got held back a few times but that’s because he wanted to, he told me. He’s so cool.

There’s this girl who tutors math (like I also do) and she’s really cool and pretty but she’s also a senior and I’m still just a freshman…. I’ve never really talked to her but I see her around sometimes and she usually tutors at the table across from mine and I wish that I could talk to her some day… maybe when I’m stronger and more awesome…

So, like, we lived in Chicago for all my life, right? But Mom and Dad got scared cause of a buncha stupid rats on the news. So we move and now we live in the south (where all the rednecks and stuff live) in the biggest city there. My Mom does a lot of mercenary coding work stuff, and my Dad does office stuff, I don’t know. Anyways, school was awesome. In Chicago there was a coding club and we watched anime and learned to hack and they were freaking sweet. Now that I’m new here, most people don’t know me — which means I don’t have any hecking bullies yet, at least, so that’s. Cool. But also my friends and stuff are gone, and nobody talks to me when I’m doing my cool brooding poses and stuff… freaking lame. It’ll be fine though, cause I’ll fit in eventually once I’ve got my superpowers and shit!!!

Well… there’s a girl in the senior year who also tutors… she has really pretty dyed blonde hair, and really cute glasses, and she has an anime backpack (I don’t know the anime it, but I know it IS a anime). And she just seems really cool and awesome and… I don’t know… I can’t really, like, talk to her or anything. What would I even freaking say??? “I think you’re cute wanna hang out?” That’s so LAME and STUPID and it makes me wanna DIE just thinking it!!! So I think I’ll just keep watching her when we’re both tutoring in the library, instead…

When I was a little kid, I was really scared of snakes. Something about them just drove me crazy — the sound, the way they move, it’s just WRONG! Or, it felt like it anyways. One time an animal guy came to our school and showed us the animals. He taught us about snakes and I learned they really aren’t that bad… they’re actually pretty cool! They usually eat small things and the ones with poisons and stuff usually only use it to protect themselves. There is t any reason to be scared — they want us to leave them alone as much as we do them. It was a really cool experience! He also brought a few other animals, including this weird species of Iguana.

The Igauna tried to crawl down my shirt and scratched the shit out of me when it was my turn to hold it. It had unfeeling eyes that stared through me as it scrambled wildly without any reason or, or, pause. It was haunting. Evil. I had to get bandages and even a few stitches. Iguanas are fucking terrifying monsters. They just want to hurt you annd anrent scared of big things like they anhould be. I don’t ever want to be near one EVER again.

My ASUS gaming laptop was my most prized possession. It fell in a swimming pool in Japan. It fucking sucked.i can’t let my parents know either or they’ll KILL ME. My Elite Eyewear works a lot like a computer though, so I’ve been using them instead. They’re my reward for doing the ‘contracts’. They can send texts, translate languages (not very good, or very fast, or very accurate, I learned, but still.), they can play games like VR and stuff which is AWESOME. They have a digital keyboard and all the important apps and stuff I’d need from, like, a working computer or phone. They can also hack ANYTHING… as long as it’s, like, a computer or advanced machine or something…. Or a door, I found out! If it has a door handle. And the disability thing where it opens itself. But still! That’s awesome!! If I ever lost these, I’d probably be in HUGE trouble.