Julio Ramos's Questionnaire

Julio lives in Miami, United States of America, but originally lived inside Ecuador with his complete family of a single mother and many brothers like normal. However, with a growing threat of gang violence and corruption, worsened by the local monsters, had forced their family to act. Gathering all the money they had, the family decided to ensure at least a better chance for their youngest members: Julio and April, the last brothers. Julio, since 17 years of age, has worked hard and constantly so April could pursue her scholar endeavors. Additionally, Julio does appreciate the facility his new home gives for him to publish books on the side, and the vast majority of people that speak Spanish.

Mostly through working from home, doing coordination training with employees at an answering service company, part time. When money's low, though, any other side job does it; plumbing, landscaping, moving, working security staff, walking dogs. As long as it pays. There is one exception though: Since he worked lots of fast food places when young, Julio has sworn on never picking any jobs related to the food industry. And to tip his servers as well. He spends his money first to pay off rent, April's education bills, food for his apartment, and any other thing his sister may want. After that, he spends it on himself; mostly on shitty indie games, vapes, books, courses online. Of course, he always tucks a bit of that money away in case his family really needs it.

He has two ambitions. Julio wants to never again worry about having enough money for the things he wants or needs, he wants to give April all of the opportunities possible, and to protect her from this world of inhuman, and human, monsters. Eventually, and when the time is right, Julio also wants to bring the rest of his family to the United States. He would do mostly anything to achieve this, still trying to minimize damage to innocents, but not assuring it. His second goal is to publish as many books as he can, perfecting his way of writing with each new release, hoping to be recognized as a great writer someday. Julio would kill for his family, except maybe if they can find out about it. He's already risked his life, and will continue to do so, for them.

Moving to his new home with his sister. Not only were they on their own (Even if they have their family from afar), they had little knowledge of English, no jobs, no money, nor any way to know where to go next. It made him realize the importance of his family's decision, and all the hopes they sent with him and his sister. Even if there were more traumatic events in Julio's life, this is the instance where he changed the most, focusing all of his energies on assuring a good future for his family. The instance where he realized that, if he did not start working for it, his family would stay separated. 

April: Julio's younger sister. Teenager. Of high intellect and playful, filled with banter and attitude. Emotionally intelligent as well. Perfectionist. Grateful for all her brother does, even if she wants him to relax every once in a while, instead of working so much. Only speaks to him in Spanish. 

Julio's family: The rest of Julio's family back in Ecuador. He calls them on video chat when possible, as they all tell about their lives. The rest of his family consist of one older brother, and their mother. Usually, Julio leaves out any details of his parties and scuffles, but he tends to turn to them for wiser, more experienced advice.

Junior: That's literally his name, shows on his ID and everything. A laid back dude from Nicaragua, he used to be a coworker of Julio back at a fast food place, at the time were they were both teenagers. They are good friends now. He works at a moving company now, and occasionally chills with his friend by having drinks/smokes together and playing games while talking shit.

Julio’s childhood was relatively troubled. Friends, a social circle, his grades were alright. Living in Ecuador, though, made him see his fair share of violence and criminality. Furthermore, his late father, was an alcoholic and addict, which from a young age put Julio in the headspace of protecting his family. Especially his little sister. His mother, along with his (slightly older) brother provided for him when Julio was a kid, keeping a generally amicable relationship. Mostly because Julio hides well his fights or anything that may get him in trouble. And, since he could not do much against the father, due to obvious physical differences, Julio instead began and ended lots of fights with whoever picked on his sister or him. Always after school to not get expelled. He’d stamp, punch, knee, kick, whoever wronged them. Even if he didn’t always win. At school, he tended to keep his specific group of friends, occasionally interacting with others in small talk. Some people remember him fondly for this, but the fights he had, made him not as widely accepted.

Julio had a severe case of puppy love back when he was 15, still in Ecuador. A girlfriend named Clara. The couple was always told they looked great together, and both were happy to be. They were well into the second year of their relationship when Julio had to move out to the United States. They tried keeping the relationship long-distance, but it failed miserably. A friend of Julio sent him a photo of Clara making out with some random on a party. This truly brought Julio down for a while, especially with past experiences of his trust being broken. They immediately broke up, of course. Julio had to sit with these feelings for more than a year before coming to terms with what happened. And to let go of his resentment; not for her, but for him to be his best to provide for his family.

There are a couple for me. To not be strong enough to protect my family when the need arises. Be it physically or mentally. To not have enough to provide for my family if they pass a hardship. That my country becomes so unstable and unlivable, that my family, friends and all my compatriots back in Ecuador suffer. I detest the feeling of watching while my own people are being struck with injustice or instability. I fear and loathe the thought that my loved ones could betray me, rendering my mission to protect and provide for them useless, or that I open up to someone new, only for them to betray like other times. Can't say why exactly. Probably because I feel this need, to have everything covered for the people closest to me. Because I have felt already the painful betrayal of someone that was supposed to protect his own family. And I'll be damned if I follow his example. 

I'm not a psychologist, just a writer. And only sometimes. One of the fears I hide the most is the fact that my writings may not get as much recognition as I envision. That all I write, instantly, with no flare or burst, will just wither away with time. I haven't told others because the times I have, I'm seen as odd. But it terrifies me deeply the thought of not being able to do much with my work.

I have this old collection of literature classics, got it back when I entered high school. It's loaded with many of the greats: Cortázar, García Marques, Benedetti, Dostoyevsky, Cervantes, Wilde, Lovecraft, Allende... My bad, I got carried away. Thing is, it has the most notable works of multiple periods of time, multiple flavors of fiction and non-fiction. I read the hell out of the whole collection when bored. Given to me by my mother, as it previously belonged to her. She told me to always keep reading and learning, so I can surely be alongside the greatest. I was already interested in literature of course, but this was the greatest motivator for me to start writing and reading more. 

My apartment is also one of the things I take care of the most. I spent so much time working, learning, working again ad infinitum and saving up every penny, until I was able to afford a private place for my sister April and I to stay. Before that, we rented a single room in a shared house. I can tell you, now that we have all the space for us two and our cat, we feel certainly freer than before.

My biggest problem is back at my home country. Every day, the gangs and the supernatural continue to ravage Ecuador, and it infuriates me so much that I can't do anything right now. I can't bring the rest of my family with me neither, as they don't have documentation. And doing it illegally is a risk I'm not willing to put them through.

Even if I were to get all documents needed and in order in this instant, it would probably take thousands of dollars, and years of waiting for approval. I have to come up with something faster, something better.

It really boils my fucking blood. I need a cigarette when talking about this. Truth is, I know my country is used as a passing point for the cartels, mostly to peddle to the gringos and all else. And I could not give less of a damn if they snorted their noses away. But I want my country to feel safe again, and I know it's not gonna happen any time soon.

I wake up early, by myself (If you don't count the alarm), to take my sister to school. Before leaving the room, a cigarette while looking out the window and pretending to be some sort of character in a story, I take a shower with semi-cold water, wash my teeth, pick out my regular outfit for the day, and grab all my valuables and weapons. I then make breakfast for my little sister and I, usually what she tells me she wants since the day before. While eating, I message my family back home, and after eating and cleaning, I take April to her school. Soon after that, I begin my short shifts while working from home, mostly revising sheets and giving talking tips to my team. I usually take the breaks to do some sword practice in between. After my shift is done, the morning has already passed by, but I'm free for the rest of the day.

Probably about an hour and a half, maybe two. I'd have an outfit already picked up before the shower; something both comfortable enough for me to move and with a style I like. I usually pick dark colors, and have been trying green a lot, but I don't mind red wine color neither. After cleaning myself, I would apply creams and products for the curls in my hair, especially to keep them at place. I don't really mind having frizz on missions, but on a good place I'd try to keep my curls under control. I'm not keeping my beard for a while right now, so I would shave it clean, applying both pre and after shave products. After, I'd clean my teeth, the whole thing; flossing, scraping, brushing, using mouthwash. If I have time, I let my hair dry naturally at this point. If I'm tight on time (Most of the time) I speed up the process by using a hair dryer at cold. I put on my outfit, check for all of my belongings, put on cologne, and head out.  

I usually keep my birthdays low profile. It's usually my sister that likes to throw surprises or bring me cake. I appreciate it, it's just that I'm not as thrilled. Hopefully, though, maybe one of these upcoming years we can both visit back home for my birthday. 

Back home it was different, of course. My friends would surprise me with messages and my family would surprise us with parties. 

I'm getting sidetracked, though. I'll probably go out to a nice place with my sister for lunch, and after just chill out at my house, probably doing a video call with my family, messaging friends back home and not much. If possible I would still try to train, of course. 

I don't have regrets. Regretting what has happened throughout my life would imply that I do not accept the version I am of myself today.

Do I hate what I went through? Yes. Do I want it to happen to anyone else in my family? Fuck no. But even then, it has still made me who I am. Truth is, I'm a result of all my past experiences, interactions, and decisions. Even the trauma, and the decision my family and I made for me and my sister to come to the United States. Changing even one piece of it would make another person. 

And only I can bring my family together again. 

I'm sounding insane, aren't I? By the way you're looking at me. Never mind. Short answer is, I can't live with regrets, regretting my experiences would be to wish my being was different, and I have no interest in that. 

Why the fuck do you want to know? Are you trying to study me?

Right, I guess you're fine. The nature of my Gifts have varied. For example, Filo, my talking sword that transforms into a pen, and Donum Profunditatis -my ring that gives me a tentacle appendage- were both originally from someone else. Filo belonged to an old-time writer, and D.P. was meant for a popular cosmic horror writer. 

But the rest of my Gifts have manifested from myself. I'm beginning to think they're all gonna be a gimmick related to writing in some way. I guess you already know that i write on the side, whenever I can. I used to be a huge book nerd when I was a kid. Still am, really, when I'm not that busy with work. 

Point is, I think most of it will originate from my -albeit limited now- creative side, and all the memories I have from my books and stories. 

My mother has been and will be for the rest of her days a devout Christian, and my brothers and I grew up to be the same. This is a secret, but I really wanted to be a baptist when I was a kid, even had prepared for it for a while. However, multiple experiences had made me doubt what I used to put my life and heart into.

I stopped going to church at 14. And even if at the time I turned to the typical cringe edge-lord, I can safely say I try to appreciate other beliefs. As long as they don’t pose harmful to me.

I can’t know for certain if there is an all-knowing, based-on-his-image, all-judging God above me, so I stay in the medium line of agnosticism. In the supernatural part though, everything I’ve seen in the contracts so far has made me doubt even more what I knew previously.

I can’t believe in someone up there that will fix the problems for me. Maybe we were just left out here and forgotten. Or consciously neglected. Thing is, I know for sure the supernatural exists, just doubt that those in power really care.

I already knew the supernatural existed from back in Ecuador, just not at this scale. I generally do not have a problem with the Contracts I’ve been done to make. Sure, I categorically oppose most of them, and would not in my right mind do most of the shit the Harbingers want. In a regular situation. But the powers have shown time and time again to be real, and beggars cannot be choosers. So I shut up and accept whatever the Harbingers bring over to me.

I don’t have a hard time accepting change and moving past it, and I tend to love new information. As long as it’s not the product of me finding out a betrayal, that is. Really, even in the most gruesome of scenes, I’ve been able to stomach and pass through them. Even if it sometimes reminds me of the frailty of my own life, and just how much there is to be done before I can even think of dying.