Xanusham's Questionnaire

There is a network of caves, and there are many delicious things in those caves. There are many crevices through which to slip if something large decides I am a delicious thing, and attempts my consumption. Much of the walls are coated in bioluminescent mycelium, and that is good because it is difficult to see without light, and because it can be eaten - it is, however, not delicious.

I woke up here, and at once knew many things. I have found since then that knowledge is the product of experience, and it is not obvious how many things came to be known to before experience could grant that knowledge. Permanent residence is not necessary, but is suitable for now because I know this place and how to eat and avoid being eaten. To leave uninvited could bring disaster. What I don't know could hurt me more than anything I've known before.

Money is a medium of exchange, so that exchanges might be measured more precisely, and executed with greater convenience. A medium of exchange to these ends is at this time of inconsiderable value.

If food is needed, and sought, time and ability can be exchanged to obtain it directly. The practice of doing so improves the exchange rate.

If knowledge is needed, and sought, time and ability can be exchanged to obtain it through introspection. It is hard to say if this practice improves the exchange rate. It is possible that from within only so much of this resource can be obtained through this method.

I want the means at least a sample of all there is that is good to eat. Pursuing the desire for new experiences and knowledge will determine that means, regarding which things would qualify as such, and how to accomplish the desired task.
I want the means to glimpse all there is that is good to see. To have an inkling of all there is that is good to know, and to κ̵̢̦͉̈́̓͋ο̸͖͇̪̐̒͠λ̴̢̢͚̾̿λ̵̺̫͖̓͌ή̴̫̫̺͋̓͠σ̵̦̘͉̐̒͆τ̸̡̫̦͋͊͛ε̵͔͙͍͌͋̓ τ̵̢̦̽̒͝ο̸͎͕͔̈́̒ δ̴̠͙̞͊̐͠ά̸̺̞̼͌͋̓χ̸͍͚͆̿͝τ̴̡͕̦͌̀͝υ̴͔̠͍͌̔͝λ̴͓̝̠̽̓͋ο̵̟͓͑́͌ τ̴͎̺̫͌̿͛ο̵͉͎̒̐ὑ̴͓̫̠̓̔ π̴̻͕̞̀́̕ο̴̢͚̠̈́͋δ̵̠͖͕͌̐͝ί̴͚̫͍͌̚ὀ̴̪̝̘̽͘ύ̸͍̫͛͊ into any potential experiences.

The lengths, methods, and risks are not relevant, because that with which a good entity is imbued is self-fulfilling in its pursuit. To not do so would be deny the σ̴̘̼͔̐̾̚κ̸̡̝͓̽́̾ο̸͍̫̿͊π̸͇͎͍͆̒̔ό̴̫͎̫̀̽̚ς̵͍̞̝͊͐̕. A better series of questions would be: Why would you limit yourself in the lengths you would go to achieve that? Why would you not kill for it? Why would you not risk yourself? Why would you be pitiful? Those are questions to which a novel answer might be provided. Which is not necessarily useful, but it is potentially interesting/delicious.

Something about that was said earlier, and since then it has been given more thought. Incarnation was described as "waking up". That may be inaccurate. Whether the event was birth, or awakening, or achieving sapience, it is not easy to say, because I have no memory of its antecedent. But certainly it is the most defining. I have limited experience with animated sapients, and I suppose this question bears some pertinence because they would assign an event that was not their incarnation or their memory of incarnation as particularly definitive. And it's a difficult sentiment with which to empathize because it is one birthed not in ones self-definition, but an eager vanity which drives them to assign undue importance to unimpressive events because they are not secure in simply being. This is because, from their perspective, many things are, and this lends itself to the belief that their own being is implicitly mundane, when it is in fact explicitly extraordinary. The miracle of their own individual existence is something they take for granted.

The word entity is more appropriate. "People" or "person" has a variety of connotations which make it inappropriate. The entity with which a close intimacy is most appropriate is oneself.

I have described myself, and will continue to do so through these questions, and so I will not self-address further herein.

Given that experiences are limited to food and predator and environment, there are only two others that could at this point be described in sufficient detail, and reference will be made to another entry.

A small entity that called itself "Task". It is not an honest thing. Sometimes, in the caverns, small things attempt to make themselves look bigger, or as though they were a greater threat than they are. Task does the opposite thing. The small things that engage in such behaviour are prey. Therefore, Task is a predator.

A large entity that called itself "Sweeney". It is an unhappy thing. It says lots of things that don't make sense, but they are probably an attempt to elicit trade through a medium of exchange. This isn't implicitly nonsensical, but the action does not appear to be to Sweeney's benefit. Sweeney is also unhappy and seems resigned to unhappiness.

Many animates grow and mature over time. Sometimes, larger animates will escort and guard and provide care for other, smaller animates that share many of their features. If the larger ones are consumed, the smaller ones, unable to fend for themselves, will perish if left alone. It's very suitable to consume the small ones first, and come back for the rest later.

To my knowledge, I did not experience this. I can only recall being self-reliant, and I know no such relationship. But it is interesting, that things which share my sense of self-awareness also rely upon these bonds. I have been taught nothing in that sense by external entities. Because I am implicitly knowledgeable, and gain knowledge efficiently without the assistance of outside forces, and have none to speak of which I might χ̴͙͇͚͐̒͐ῤ̴̺̘͊̀ή̵̝̪̽̈́͛͜σ̵͙͕̦̈́͑̽η̵̟̝̪̈́͠͠/̵͍̟͛͜͝α̴̙͉̐͐͜͝π̵͎͚̝͆͝ἀ̵̢̢͙͘͝σ̵̙͖͎̀̽͑χ̴̢̦͍̀̕ό̴̡͎̞̔̚͝λ̵̡͕̀̓͠ή̵͍̺̝͐̕σ̴͔͕̞̀͊͐η̴̺͖̈́̔̔/̵̫̻͙̓͌͘μ̴͖̫͇͛͌͠ό̴̘͙̫́͊͒χ̸̠̫͍͌̒͊λ̸̡̡̙͐̈́̚ἐ̵͎̙̕͜͝ὐ̴͚̠̘̕͘σ̸̪̠̼̿̔͑η̸̙̟̈́̒͆/̵̫͎̈́͊͜͝ὲ̴͎̞͍͛̒κ̵͔͛̓͜͜μ̴̦͓̟̀̓̓ε̴̠̻̠̿͆͝τ̸̙̫̀̓̿ά̵̡̼̼͐̾λ̸͖̫̠̓́̕λ̴̠̞͎͛̚͝ἐ̵̢̫̟͋̿υ̵̢͚͓͑̾͘σ̸̡͔̔͌̔͜ὴ̴͉͉͔̽̈́ anyway, I am not in need of such things anyway. Although that might change if an appropriate institution can be discovered.

Belonging is easily found in many places, if the proper perspective is taken. If improper caution or excessive fear are allowed to flourish, expulsion or death are inevitable. Survival in this place was easily done, because appropriate perceptions were implicit.

It is appropriate to have a deep affection for oneself. As for external affections, it would depend on the extremeness of those inclinations. Deep affections for things that are beneficial are sensible. For food, for knowledge, and for especially for external experiences that broaden horizons that cannot be sought out with internal ones. Other animates are a troubling subject, however, because their actions might disrupt the affection. It is unwise to unduly reveal vulnerabilities, or otherwise unnecessarily expose yourself.

I have a deep affection for a large, wet quadruped animate. I am roughly double its size. I have found that with great frequency, it spawns dozens of delicious things. I have been attacked by it - feebly - when I consume them, but it has no ability to harm me. Truly beloved are those that provide benefit and lack the capacity to provide detriment.

There are many things it is natural to fear. Demise is the most natural. Things which do not fear their own demise are more likely to expose themselves to it, and cease to exist. Inability to secure resources, evading predators, and failure to navigate and circumvent dangerous environments are likely causes, and so are to be feared.

The mind informs these things. Knowledge is paramount. Without it, the means of securing resources is unknown. How are predators evaded, if they cannot be identified? What are the best ways to navigate and circumvent dangerous environments? A strong or agile entity might mitigate these challenges, but in failing to learn, always exposes itself to demise. Because knowledge is so important, the tainting of knowledge is also worthy of fear. It creates new risks, instead of mitigating natural ones.

I fear the nature of my reality, at times. I might not be able to learn the things I need to learn in order to grow. I might not be able to eat and seek the things I need to learn. If I lack the capacity to escape my cycle, will I be crushed by the constraints of that which contains me?

And, at times, I fear my mouth might usurp my mind from its reins.

Possessions? Like small trinkets kept by humans? Nothing like that is held. I should see myself blessed to lack the fingers that might grasp such worthless and trivial things. I possess myself, and there can be no better prize. Nothing escapes my gaze; I have three grand eyes that gaze in all directions. My mind grips what I should hunt, or flee, or raises me above any danger that should reach me. My mind is sharp, and untainted by unnecessary limitations upon which all other sentients I have encountered are imposed upon by. My appetite is without limit. I move between spaces that anything large enough to defeat me could not fit through by a wide margin. That is not a joke.

I am special, because I am a uniquely good entity. I possess the prerequisite qualities, and no unnecessary ones to that end. No aspect of my entity is vestigial in its purpose.