Douglas Edwards's Questionnaire

"I live right in the heart of this great nation.. Denver. Always been my home, best damn city in the world if you ask me. City parks in walking distance, means me and my mutt can go for walks whenever we so please. Green grass for as far as the eye can see, it's beautiful. The architecture too? Fee-Nom-Anal."

"Homes easy, nice little apartment. Not the tidiest but its just me and the dog, don't really matter all that much how it looks. Walls are still brown, haven't gotten around to painting 'em but I need to. Little claw mark tears from when Marriet was still a puppy. Got one bed, one bath, and a nice living room and kitchen. Broke my box spring a few months back so the mattress is kinda just on the floor now... So I sleep on the couch most days. Marriet stole the mattress, that's her bed now I guess."

"Moneys easy, I do a bit of streaming here and there, a bit of handiwork with cars, and some uh.. betting, y'know? Not the luckiest guy but I can't resist, you can always win big and if you lose, go again to win bigger!"

"Storm-chasing my main thing though, biggest passion and all. My last camera guy quit on me, said he didn't wanna die or something, so now I've gotta film myself looking all cool. I'd hire a new one, not too many people look too keen on running head-on into a tornado though. It is what it is, doesn't pay enough to sustain me so I'll make due with my side projects."

"I'm a simple enough guy, just after whatever gets the blood pumping the most. Climbed 10 floors up an abandoned elevator shaft last week, that was just perfect. These gigs from this Talent fella, they keep me happy. Gives me enough downtime after a job to patch myself up, spend my winnings and whatnot. Can't wait for the next one of these things, I get the feeling that they're only gonna get better and better."

"I'd die for it, y'know? That's how life goes. You keep on going until you don't! I don't care about making it to the ripe age of 200, if I'm gonna go, let it be cool. I'd prefer it on film, somewhere to be witnessed. It's like a tree falling, if my death isn't seen, isn't inspirational, there's no meaning to it. It's just death. I wanna go in a way that gets peoples blood pumping, gets them wanting to take risks, to live, not survive."

"2008 was a great year for Coloradans, if you like freak weather that is. It was wild, y'know? My old house got torn right through, really messed us up. It was rough for the whole neighborhood, had to downsize a good bit. I was fascinated though. How could something that moved like that not be alive? It was a force of nature, it was like the skies themselves were mad at us. I can't help but feel like it meant something more, like it wasn't just wanton destruction, it was a sign."

"Been chasing storms just like that one since I was 16. Had an old video recorder that I filmed them on, gave the footage to local news in hopes of spreading the word a little. Got called a quack by some, told that what I do doesn't matter, that I only endanger myself and my crew. My look at me now! I don't got a crew to endanger anymore and I'm doing just fine! I'm happy and I'm alive, that's more than some folks can say."

"Closest person to me is my dog, Marriet. Couldn't choose between Mary and Harriet so I just merged the two! Some people told me it sounds stupid but when I googled up that name, I saw that some folks were named it! Take that Mom, I'm not the stupid one, you are! Sweet girl's about seven now, still plenty healthy too. She's a pitt, best breed if you ask me. They get a bad wrap, get called mean and aggressive. She's only bit me like twice and that was my fault, I shouldn't have invaded her space while she was sleeping. I mean it was my bed but that don't matter, it's basically hers now."

"Met a weird cat out in Africa, that was cool I guess. I owe it a cheeseburger apparently, don't know why the devil wants one of those but maybe he's got good taste. I probably should have led with the whole devil thing, right? I pet that son of a bitch on the head and he started speaking to me WITH MY OWN VOICE! What the hell man? You can't just do that! Worst part about it was when he started stretching. It was like pulling play-dough, fucking gross. I get the feeling I'll be seeing that fella real soon, definitely dreading all that though."

"If you mean people people, like not animals, I'm not the most popular fella. My dad hasn't cut me off yet, so that's nice I guess. He's cool, one of the few folks that doesn't hate my guys."

"Childhood was alright, feels selfish to want for more than what I got. My mom and I aren't that close, doesn't feel like we ever were really. We're just made differently. She thinks I'm a failure and avoids my name at Thanksgiving, I think she's a huge bitch. After these last few jobs, I get the feeling she might be more right than I'd like, I uh.. haven't felt my best after the whole Melon Festival fiasco."

After a brief pause, he gets back on topic.

"My dad's cool though, let me sleep on his couch when rent was getting rough a few years back. With all the medical bills I'm racking up, might have to give him a call sometime, see if I can bum out at his for a bit."

"When it comes to school, I didn't really excel at all that. Studying just ain't my thing, no point in burying yourself in a book all the time, you've got a whole life to live. Didn't go to college for that same reason, I don't want to spend even more of my life bored. I fit in fine, I wasn't some sort of social pariah. Tried out for the soccer team a few times too, never really got in. Just bad luck I guess, got hurt at just about every tryout I went to."

"Love? I've been in love plenty. Dare I say it, I've been in too much love! I can't give you names really, too many to count, but I assure you there's been plenty of ladies that've caught my eye! I've caught theirs too of course, what's not to love with a guy like me?"

It's fairly clear that he's overexaggerating, now panicked and fraught with insecurity. The pages of Douglas's life are full of personal failings and cowardice, exaggeration and wild behaviors are some of the few ways he has left to protect his fragile ego. It's fair to say that the closest things to love that he's felt were fleeting or one-sided.