blake's Questionnaire

I get all my money from my salary as a technician at A&S. It's not much, but it's enough to get me through the month without adding to my debt. Each month, my spending mainly goes toward paying off student debts, rent, and bills. The rest is divided for food and cigarettes throughout the month. I can also afford to buy beers for the weekend and manage a meager amount of savings that gets consumed every time I get sick and need medical care or medicine. My last unusual big spending was the lottery ticket for this Neo Genesis device. It was still within my budget if I cut down on alcohol this month and maybe went easy on smoking too. At least I got the device, so it wasn't a total waste of money, and I heard that these run for like 1000 times what I spent on it, so I might call it an investment.

My ambition burns as fiercely as the flames I command. In the virtual realm of Neo Genesis, I strive to master the art of pyromancy and become the most powerful fire mage the game has ever seen. This goal is not just about personal power; I want to leave an indelible mark on the game's universe, creating a legacy that will be remembered long after I log out. To achieve this, I'm willing to go to any lengths. I would scorch my enemies without hesitation, believing that the ends justify the means. Risking my life in the game, I face death head-on, embracing the thrill of danger and the challenge of survival. Each perilous encounter, each brush with annihilation, fuels my determination. For me, the pursuit of power and recognition in Neo Genesis is not just a game—it's my escape, my purpose, and my destiny.

My childhood was a mixed bag. My parents were hardworking, middle-class folks. My father was a mechanic, always covered in grease and working late hours to provide for us. He was a man of few words, strict and disciplined, but he had a soft spot for my brother. My mother was a nurse, nurturing and kind, but constantly tired from her long shifts. She tried to keep the peace at home, but the favoritism towards my brother was evident.

I attended school, but I never really fit in. My brother excelled in everything—sports, academics, social life—while I struggled to find my place. I was often overshadowed by his achievements, which led to me being bullied and ignored by my peers. I was the quiet kid in the back of the class, trying to stay under the radar and just get through the day.

School was a place where I felt isolated and misunderstood. The teachers barely noticed me, and the other kids saw me as an easy target. I didn't have many friends, and the few I had were just as outcast as I was. My brother’s constant success only made things worse, as I was always being compared to him, and I could never measure up.

This early sense of invisibility and neglect planted the seeds of resentment that grew over the years. My childhood wasn’t marked by any dramatic traumas, but rather a steady accumulation of small slights and disappointments that gradually shaped who I am today.

I’ve never truly been in love. There were a few fleeting infatuations here and there, but nothing that ever developed into something meaningful. Most of the time, I felt too insignificant and invisible to even catch someone’s eye. My self-esteem was always low, a byproduct of living in my brother’s shadow and never feeling like I measured up.

There were a few people I found myself attracted to, but my insecurities always held me back from pursuing anything. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t good enough, that no one would ever choose me over someone more charismatic, successful, or interesting. My life was already filled with enough disappointment and rejection; I didn’t want to add romantic failure to the list.

The one time I tried to put myself out there, it ended in disaster. I mustered up the courage to ask out a girl I had admired from afar, only to be rejected in front of a group of our peers. The humiliation was overwhelming, and it reinforced all my fears about my worthlessness. Since then, I’ve kept my distance, guarding my heart against further pain and focusing on just getting through each day.

Love, for me, feels like an unattainable dream, something reserved for people who are better than me.

My biggest problem right now? It’s the crushing weight of this unfulfilling corporate grind. Day in and day out, I’m stuck in a job that drains my energy and spirit, with no end in sight. The monotony of endless paperwork, pointless meetings, and a boss who doesn’t appreciate my efforts feels like a prison. I go through the motions, dreaming of something more meaningful, but every day is just a repetition of the last. It’s not just the lack of passion or the stifling routine—it’s the gnawing fear that I’m wasting my life on something that never truly satisfies me. The thought that my dreams and aspirations are slipping away as I remain trapped in this cycle is deeply troubling. I find solace in my Neo Genesis escape, but it’s a temporary fix to a problem that feels all too real and ever-present. The biggest challenge is reconciling this relentless dissatisfaction with the need to keep moving forward, even when every day feels like a struggle

My typical morning starts with the blaring of my alarm clock, pulling me out of sleep with a jolt. I hit snooze twice before dragging myself out of bed. Bleary-eyed, I stumble into the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face to wake up. 

In the kitchen, I brew a pot of coffee, the only part of the morning I genuinely look forward to. While it brews, I check my phone for any urgent work emails or messages, grumbling as I scroll through the inevitable updates. Breakfast is usually a quick, unremarkable affair—a slice of toast or a hastily made sandwich.

After breakfast, I head to my closet and pick out a drab suit and tie, the uniform of my corporate monotony. I straighten my tie with a practiced but disheartened motion. Grabbing my briefcase, I let out a deep sigh before stepping out the door, bracing myself for another day of tedious office life.

What is my worst fear? It’s not some monster or ghost or those usual fears. It’s the thought of being stuck in this monotonous, soul-crushing life forever. Every day, I wake up, go to that same dreary office, and sit in that same cubicle, doing work that means nothing to me. The idea of never breaking free from this corporate grind, of spending my entire life chained to a desk, is terrifying. The thought of never making my mark, never achieving something significant, never truly living – that’s what keeps me up at night. I see my life passing by in a blur of pointless meetings and deadlines, and it feels like I’m drowning in mediocrity. I fear reaching the end of my days and realizing that I’ve wasted them all on things that don’t matter. In Neo Genesis, I can be someone, I can do something extraordinary. I’d rather face any beast, any horror in that game, than be trapped in this endless cycle of mundanity. In the virtual world, I can fight, I can conquer, I can feel alive. Out here, I’m just another cog in the machine. That’s my worst fear – living a life that’s not really living at all.

My most valuable possession? Without a doubt, it’s my Neo Genesis VR headset. This piece of technology is more than just a gadget to me; it’s my lifeline to a world where I can escape the drudgery of my daily existence. Every time I put on that headset, I step into a realm where I’m not just another office drone, but a powerful pyromancer with the ability to reshape reality. The headset represents freedom, adventure, and the chance to live a life beyond the confines of my mundane routine. It’s where I can experience excitement, challenge, and success—things that are in short supply in my day-to-day life. The virtual world allows me to be someone I could never be in reality, to push boundaries and achieve feats that would be impossible otherwise. It’s not just a piece of technology; it’s my gateway to a different reality where I can truly be myself, and that makes it priceless to me.

If I were going somewhere special, I’d start by taking a long, hot shower to clear my mind and prepare myself. I don't have a vast wardrobe, but I do have a red suit with a black shirt that I rarely get the chance to wear. It’s my favorite outfit, and I always feel confident and powerful in it. After the shower, I’d shave and carefully style my hair, which usually takes about 20 minutes. 

I’d take extra time making sure my suit is spotless and well-pressed. I might spend an additional 10 minutes polishing my shoes to complete the look. All in all, getting ready would take about an hour.

In Neo Genesis, I have the Phoenix's Embrace cloak. Its presence makes me look incredibly charismatic and commanding. I think it would complement my red suit perfectly, making me feel like a powerhouse both in-game and in real life. If only I could bring a touch of that in-game elegance into reality, I'd truly be unstoppable.

It's been a very long time since I last celebrated my birthday. Most years, it's just another day in the grind. But, since you mentioned it, why not do something special this time around, I'm thinking about taking a day off to do something different. Maybe I'll buy myself something sweet, like a nice piece of cake or a fancy pastry, just to mark the occasion. I could spend the whole day enjoying Neo Genesis, immersing myself in the game without the usual interruptions.

Of course, that's if my stupid boss actually lets me take the day off. The man never gives me a break. And then there's the issue of money. Treating myself sounds nice, but my finances are usually stretched thin. The thought of spending extra just to celebrate feels almost reckless.

As I start to plan it out, the whole idea begins to feel like a hustle. Taking a day off, dealing with the guilt of spending money, and then trying to relax while knowing I'm falling behind at work... it just doesn't seem worth it. Maybe I'll just play the game for a few hours after work and call it a night. The more I think about it, the more celebrating my birthday feels like a chore rather than a joy. So, I think I'll just let it pass quietly, like any other day.