Andrew Goobs's Questionnaire

Where do I live? Sioux Falls, South Dakota, holed up in Room 202 of the Motel 77 downtown. I'd move out to somewhere with more action, but I've still got a couple debts to pay, and the rent here's free 'cause my aunt owns the place. City's also nice, I guess. Pretty views and all that. But my eyes stay on the green. Sioux Falls is a big city, but it ain't got much in the way of a crime underworld. That's space to expand without the trouble of too many rivals. That's green in my pocket and reputation on my name, and it's the first step in becomin' the United States' king of crime.

At the moment, I get my cash through any means necessary. Breakin' into apartments and pawnin' off old TV's, muggin' folks in alleyways, sellin' a couple ounces to people on the street. Startin' small, I know. Ain't no need to rub it in. But soon I'll be investin' in dealers of my own, and after that I'll create Capos and Consiglieres, and all those guys you find from old mobster movies, and they'll be linin' my pockets too. Just a matter of time, you hear what I'm saying? When it comes to what I've got now, though, I'm spending most of it just keepin' my head above water. Got some loan sharks on my behind that need payin' off, and they're hounding for nearly all my dough. Just a matter of time before they're off my tail, though. Just a matter of time.

I'm strivin' to be the biggest crime lord in the U.S. of A. I'll be like Al Capone, or that one guy from the Godfather. My family's always been poor, but with the kind of money those guys rake in, we ain't gonna be scraping for cash no longer. I ain't playing around either. I've robbed folk straight-up, broken into houses and cars, and got my fair share of misdemeanors on my record. And I'll keep doin' that and more until I've got the influence to get other folk to do it for me. As for killing... I ain't killed anyone before, I'll be honest. And I don't fancy the idea. But I got a feeling -- sooner or later, I'll have to get my hands proper dirty, and when that time comes, I'll do what I have to do.

Ain't no contest. It was the day my dad drove off a bridge with my mom in the backseat. Couldn't pay off his debts, so the sharks came after me and my two sisters instead. That's why I'm lookin' to be a proper crime lord, 'cause when you get big, money isn't something to worry about no more. I ain't got nobody to offend, either. My dad was a real goody-two-shoes. He wouldn't've approved, and it hurts to disappoint family, especially the man of the house. Now, he ain't around to be disappointed, and I don't feel any shame in what I do.

First'd be my aunt, Miranda Goobs. She's like a mom to me, after my real one passed, and lets me stay for free in one of her motel rooms. If I'm being fully truthful, she's part of why I haven't thought too much about leavin' Sioux Falls. I still need to pay her back for what she's done for me. Kindest person I know -- but sharp as a nail too. Won't take nothin' from no one.

Second'd be Jonnie Jackston. He runs a pawn shop deeper downtown and fences off the stuff I steal. He's also the one that supplies me with drugs. I don't do narcotics myself, but I do sell 'em every once in a while, and he's the guy I get them from. Jonnie's a sleaze and a douche, but I'd be even broker without him.

Third'd be Gordon. Dunno if it's his last name or his first name, but that's what people call him. He's a loan shark. Drove my dad broke, and when he drove off a bridge, started chasin' after me. I owe him a lot of money, but getting out of that hole is the first step in bein' a true and proper crime boss.