Haerin Yun's Questionnaire

Angelo lives in an average New York apartment, having spent all his funds into getting a better internet service provider as well as his collection of retro video games. And as for why he lives in New York of all places, it is simply because it's farthest from home. He finds that life feels less... suffocating when he's so far away from people he knew in his youth. He does not like to remember what his childhood was like, so he chooses to live in one of the countless studio apartments located in the city. His home is filled with gym equipment, stacks upon stacks of video games, with some anime figurines here and there. It is oddly neat for his bedrotting behaviour.

Angelo just spends most of his income on being a gamer, just buying whatever's the most relevant game as well the essentials too, like food, electricity and everything else a man at his age would buy. He also happens to be a bit of an anime fanatic so he collects a few figurines here and there, but yeah most of his money goes into buying loads of games to play. Occupation wise however.... Angelo is a regular blue collar worker. Like, are you surprised? Why else would he engage in this much fantasy as being the absolute edgelord known as Haerin? Because he wants a sense of relief and after buying the Neo-Genis headset, he will get the fantasy he paid for.

As Haerin:

He only desires power and weaponry to display said power. Swords are his passion and he greatly desires a TON of swords. Death and killing is inevitable when half the swords he desires are ones made from the deaths of others, in other words, he just wants to kill people so of course he is going to end up coming close to death on some occasions as there are many opponents stronger than him in this game world so it's not too surprising when it has to end in someone dying when he's around. Though he doesn't see any benefit in fighting people weaker than him anyway, so all in all, he only desires the thrill of battle with those who consider themselves 'the strongest' in whatever league they call themselves.

As Angelo:

It's just a game. He wouldn't do anything that would negatively affect the real lives of others outside the game just because they were stronger or anything like that.

"Probably when I left home. That place was suffocating, the atmosphere was just something I could never continue to physically handle any longer than I already had. It was... Tiring to say the least, having so many expectation set upon and being made to bear all that weight by myself... It awoke something in me, a feeling of solace perhaps. I just... Wanted to just be left alone. To do my own thing, to never let others bear my weight for me. I feel alone and that is... Fine enough for me. I don't expect anyone to find a way to my heart when I choose to close myself off like this. But... eh, I don't care. I'll handle it."

First off, there's my buddy Steve from the factory where I work. Dude's a total goofball, always cracking jokes and keeping me laughing even on the worst days. We bond over our love of cheap beer and the Mets, and he's always got my back when things get rough. He's the one guy who doesn't judge me for being a blue-collar worker, and I appreciate that about him.

Next up is my aunt, Halmeoni. She's the one who taught me how to cook a mean bibimbap and always reminds me of my roots. Even though we don't always see eye-to-eye, she's always looking out for me, making sure I'm eating well and staying out of trouble. Though I'm not too fond of my family, she's nice.

Last but not least, there's Rachel from the corner store. She's always hooking me up with a free coffee or a fresh loaf of bread, and we always shoot the breeze about our favourite TV shows. She's got a heart of gold, and I'm lucky to have her in my life. Even as a loner, I've got a few people in my life huh.

"Growing up, I was always told what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. My parents had this vision of me becoming a doctor or lawyer, something "respectable" that would make them look good in front of their friends. But, honestly, I just wanted to play video games and chill by myself. I mean, who doesn't love a good game of NBA 2K or a sick beat on Grand Theft Auto? But, nope, my parents were all about the books, the grades, the extracurriculars. They'd be on my case 24/7, making sure I was studying hard enough, practicing my piano enough, and speaking Korean fluently enough. I felt like I was living in a pressure cooker, with the lid about to blow off at any minute. It was like, I get it, my parents wanted the best for me, but can't a dude just breathe for a second? Can't I just have a life outside of academics and cultural expectations? But, no, that was not an option. My childhood was a never-ending cycle of stress, anxiety, and feeling like I was never good enough. It was suffocating, man."

"When people ask about my love life, I gotta laugh. It's like, what love life? I got nothin' to report, folks. Zilch. Zero. Zip. I mean, I'm not exactly what you'd call a ladies' man. I'm more of a solo act, doin' my own thang, and lovin' every minute of it. Don't get me wrong, I ain't antisocial or nothin', but I just don't got time for all that romantic drama. I got better things to do, like fixin' cars, playin' video games, or just chillin'. I don't need no fancy dinner dates or awkward conversations about feelings and stuff. Now, don't get me wrong, I ain't completely opposed to the idea of findin' someone special. But, it's gotta be on my terms, you know? I ain't got time to be all lovey-dovey and whatnot. I'll stick to my solo life, thankyouverymuch. Besides, I'm too busy bein' awesome on my own to worry 'bout findin' someone to share it with. So, that's my love life in a nutshell – nonexistent, but totally on purpose. I'm Angelo Yun, the king of solo, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It's comfy this way anyway.

I fear losing to someone weaker than I. The feeling of weakness is so revolting, so sickening that I would hate to have to run away. Because truly... What purpose is there for me of I lose to someone with a weaker mindset than myself, a weaker body than me, a lack of fanaticism for battle and they lack that... INSANITY... that comes with wanting to win. I will never lose to normalcy, to mediocrity, to ABSOLUTE WEAKNESS, TO DISGUSTING WEAKNESS. Why would I lose to a fucking weakling anyway!!! I fear the day I lose to a true weakling and suffer from their own naivety... The worthless bastard.

I'm.... I'm not imagining anyone or any past scenario in my head when I say this.... What are you talking about? This is purely a hypothetical, that's all. You don't know me, let's not act like you do.

But anyway, back on topic. I fear loss in a way much different to what the word fear would describe it. I absolutely abhor it, I will NEVER lose again.... It made me sick to my stomach how I let that happen to myself.... I need more strength, more power, more... More... everything I suppose...

My Armor, I suppose. It seems to complete me, fulfills my very essence as well as the underlying... Ineptitudes my own vessel has.

I love my armor, it is so reliable and trustworthy... Dare I ever lose my beloved armour I'll... I'll....

I'LL FUCKING LOSE IT! HOW DARE ANYONE, ANY FUCKING ONE TAKE WHAT OBJECTIVELY BELONGS TO ME!!!

I WILL KILL ANY PERSON WHO DARES TAKE IT OFF MY PERSON!!!

I... I find it so special because it is the one and only thing belonging to me.... It is my one and only thing that I could say is truly mine... Especially after knowing... That man.

I know that some of my things may make it so that I do not truly own my vessel, being nothing more than a marionette with tight strings holding me affixed to whatever position my user desires for me to act and to move.... That will change soon.

These binds that have been holding onto me tightly, binding me to my own physicality, making fear my own death, becoming more wary for how my end will impact my Comrades. I wish to be free. I wish to break away from everything. Not through death, that is a weakling's form of escape. I will obtain true freedom through cutting off these marionette strings binding me to my player, I will kill these worthless pieces of metaphysical string, it doesn't matter how, when or where.

My biggest concern is that.... Player of mine. Mr Angelo Yun... You are a worthless stain on my being that needs to be erased with haste. I abhor you. If I were to fill this vast endless system of code, the world you reside in, and all possible worlds that I have encountered... It would not even be enough to fill a miniscule, microscopic iota of my hatred for you and only you. If you hath not done me in the manner you had, you would not be my problem.

I simply feel the correct amount of souls enter my body, that being 3, mine, my user's and another I have no way to discern, perhaps a shard of the abyss that which my quintessence resides. Afterwards, once awake, I begin my day by cleanse myself appropriately, sharpening and maintain all mine weaponry, as well as my armor, even if it has a strange quality that never truly degrades it seems. After doing so, I train for hours on end until the sun rises, after which I wash up once more. A healthy body equals a healthier mind and such, I suppose. Thereafter, I wander the vast endlessness of Neo-GENIS, before then assisting the locals in whatever they desire, usually in guardianship of their kin from possible harm while their parents or guardians commit to their own errands, perhaps even assist whichever church I so happen to come across, making sure to not trigger any ability of mine that the average man would find... Distasteful.... After doing many things to fill my day with things to do, I eventually black out, finding myself in the control of my user... Doing whichever quests he so finds entertaining or for his own amusement. Once I retain some level of my consciousness, the other being within me returns this vessel to my control... And I continue to endlessly wander... 

I will wear only the most essential part of mine armour, usually my breastplate and begin my simple, meagre but satisfactory attempts to stylised myself.

A weighted and cloak of red with white fur, A suit that mimics that of certain royalty, with clips of golden-like substances, pins, some appropriate jewelry, nothing too eye catching, but not unnoticeable at a glance. Combing and styling my hair is a must as well. So long as I look tidier than I usually do. This attempt in making my visage more appealing to those I am attending this event with, if giving satisfactory results will be worth the attempt in the long run as I see it.

In terms of how long would it take for me to dress up in these garbs possibly a few hours, perhaps a few minutes if had everything in preparation a day beforehand. That is how I would prepare at the very least.

I will continue to wander endlessly through the vast scope of this realm I reside in, Neo-GENIS, and continue to wander for I have nothing to place on a hypothetical wish, or noone I feel any sort of closeness to the extent that I would make invitations for them and prepare a venue wherein I hope that they commit to their promise of arrival.... Aside from maybe one or two people I suppose. Just those two are close enough to me and I suppose.... For them.... I'll have a small, humble party just with the two of them, simply relaxing with them, with their mortality and such.... I wouldn't want to have a moment where I regret spending time with them.

Losing.

Losing for myself.

Losing for the one I promised to protect, having them go out of their way to protect me and risk their life, failing in my role as a protector.

Losing again and again and again and again, each time having to be saved by those I SWORE I WOULD PROTECT

I regret it all in fact. There are countless regrets that I have, as a being of this vessel.... However what I regret the absolute most is allowing myself to cave into pressure... Becoming something so different from my base nature, but I can no longer be this individual anymore, I perhaps regret losing myself, losing control of my own vessel, having to constantly fight against the multiple beings within me as to how I react to any scenario, as it.... It hurts when my rage simmers to the point where I can no longer control my body, having... The player control me... Or the abyss, whichever feels like making my life more hell each day, over and over and over.... 

I regret failing her too... I regret it so much....

There is an abyss in which all my souls conglomerate, the three main souls piloting this vessel, Angelo, Haerin, and finally the abyss. The abyss contains this vessel's power and all the souls it has slain, the souls of those who are weak, and portions of the souls of boundless creatures that are infinite in nature.

The vessel's abilities are formed within the darkest depths of the abyss, some suited for this body and some forming in the process of the vessel attempting to imbue certain objects with his essence, the abyss' essence.

And with this vessel being a swordsman in particular, certain abilities of his are sword themed, knight themed and... Obviously darkness themed as well.... Embarrassingly so.

Each... "Gift" is somewhat of a combination of the vessel's inherent potential as well as combination of multiple factors, the value of the soul within the abyss that was deconstructed into power for this body.

You may believe in whatever higher existence and you believe in, I choose to not think about such things considering the strangeness of my existence. If I were to believe in God's, I would consider my user, my creator.... Above me... And I will NEVER consider him about me.

I am neutral to all things pertaining to one's decided or discovered set of beliefs. You may act or speak on ways conforming to your set of beliefs, just don't exactly force those set of beliefs upon me, as I do not care overall about such things.

I only believe in strength. The value of one's strength is simply what I believe in, if they are stronger than I through a way of thought that heavily contrasts with mines, then... And only then will I ever see it fit to change the way I see things, because perhaps then... I will also get stronger.

My view of all things existent has been constantly put to the test on this teetering rope of belief and disbelief. I no longer doubt that which I had once assumed to be impossibilities beyond impossibilities, it is all simply obstacles in whichever quest I ever so happen to find myself engaging in.

Illusions are plentiful in this existence of a vast alternate world concealing itself as a video game, as far as I am made to believe at very least. In this world, my beliefs have been shattered over and over and over again beyond repair, I no longer that there are things I truly know of, since it is all so ever-changing and ever-growing due to the influence of those who reside in this world.

So far my worldview has been proven correct, but just not from myself, from the countless losses I have experience as well countless wins that all happen to neatly fit within my set of worldviews.

Those I see quite often....

I suppose it is these two:

Devonia: a being of a peculiar nature, their cobbled up and sewn together form, alongside their intensely golden form, with a broad and massive form dwarfing most average people.

What I like about them: they are selfish within reason, able to quickly make decisions that will solely affect them positively in future.

What I dislike: they often find themselves in situations wherein they are much more indecisive than most, their not truly set on who they are as an individual... I hope they do find themselves I suppose.

The Ashen One: a being of similar, almost frighteningly so nature to I, another being that was once bound to a user, a beautiful lady with massive shields held on each arm wearing armour.

What I like about them: many... Many countless bits and pieces of each and every aspect of their being is something I would consider... Admirable, attractive, or whichever word denotes a positive meaning.

What I dislike: they're more mysterious than I could ever figure, even with what I know of her, which is several times more than most will ever come to realise. Eventually they will let me know of other remaining secrets they hold, or not, she may do as she likes. Not my call to say anything in that regard.

A four wall, windowed room with plenty of space for many forms of study, entertainment, relaxing, and rest.

It should contain:

Adjustable blinds to give yourself the choice as tho how much light with will penetrate into this room, as well as a king size bed to allow this vessel to comfortably rest without contorting his form in uncomfortable ways. A small bedside table of hold certain home appliances, for example, an alarm, a lamp, etc etc. there should be an area to contain unwashed clothes as well as a room to contain the washed clothes. A stand to hold this vessel's armor and vast supplies of weaponry. A table in the corner that could be used for studying and research is preferable, a beanbag chair, as those of the modern age refer to, somewhere is somewhat optional.

If not any of that, that a wooden room with nothing inside of it.

If you can beat me, I was simply weaker than you.

The life of the blade has minimal circumstances wherein you won't have to solve problems with the blade you hath chose to follow your entire life, and in such case it is quite obvious one will have to believe their sword is greater than their opponents as hesitation leads to defeat. I however chose to gauge another's strength, as the result I obtain from doing so is beneficial in discerning which aspect of my belief shines through after the battle.

If I had won, even if the opponent had many more options on how to defeat this vessel and yet you lost? How pathetic.

If you were clearly weaker than I and I had given you the option to concede, you were simply too stubborn and had to die due to your stubbornness. Do I care about anything else... No. Nothing else can skew the way this philosophy of mine within the realm of the blade will change.

Anguish.

My user is human, unfortunately and as such certain aspects of that humanity have leeched into this vessel as well. So while I don't see the point in experiencing pain, I don't enjoy experiencing long bouts of agony as much as the next person does.

Betrayal.

I am not fond of having those I gained trust towards betray me at any point, knowingly, unknowingly, even if I'm in the wrong. If we swore to trust one another and you go out of your way to break said trust, I find that despicable.

Capture.

I am a man who desires freedom more than most. With that being said, I despise being held down for no particular reasoning at all, I don't enjoy being held against my will, another thing seeping out of my user's humanity into this Vessel's existence.

Failure.

A swordsman who fails to use a sword. A  man who fails to accomplish a task given to them, what sort of man would they be. I will never choose to fail an assignment I chose to accept.

If it ensures the survival of a certain comrade of mine, then I am willing to falter on these limits of this vessel.

1. Notion - The Rare Occasions

A song about existentialism and the doubts about a higher being. Haerin, being an individual who has to constantly question his own inner worth and existence in comparison to higher existences being present, wondering his own perpetual existence in the midst of everything around him.

2. Kendrick Lamar - PRIDE

Haerin, as unfortunately introspective as he is, would listen to this song as it represents his self reflection and how he would look inwards before focusing on other's issues, as he constantly wants to be this idealised, perfected form of himself, yet he notes his lingering hindrances that stop him from being as perfect as he would want to be.

3. Ichiko Aoba - Asleep among endives

It is just a nice and tranquil song, describing this dream like state among endives, a type of leafy vegetable. Haerin never feels truly awake, everything seems like just an extremely vivid home. Sometimes there just needs to be a song to just relax and unwind from the cruelties of one's continued unknown existence.

4. Ichiko Aoba - meringue doll

It is a love song coated and layered with words of beauty and a long journey to acquire the love she can call home, speaking of this new emotional journey as well as the perpetual loneliness to travel the boundless skies to find said love.... Why would Haerin have this in his playlist? He's a bit of a sucker for love as a concept, and as a feeling, though he'd never admit to such. He feels as though this relates a bit to his own sense of loneliness and journey to find something... Someone... He hasn't a clue yet however.

5. Mili - Hero

It fits his delusions a LITTLE too well... As well as his wonder of why he was made into a satirical villain archetype, outside of his own volition. Wanting to prove his ideals stronger than others. To continue to fight to prove himself to... Someone... Somewhere.

6. Playboi Carti - Vamp Anthem  [guitar remix] [slowed+reverb]

Haerin still has an intense villainous streak if tempted.

7. Playboi Carti - NARCISSIST

I uh... Do I need to explain?

"This sword will continue to cut and cut and cut until there is nothing ahead of me. A warrior is only truly born in the battlefield and truly dies in the battlefield. I will fight for myself, for everything, for everyone I hold dear, to become the epitome of strength, to be beyond omnipotence, beyond the will of higher beings, to be free. I will fight everything that comes my way to be free. If true freedom is a right for those truly strong, then I will take it for myself with these cold lifeless hands of mine. No matter the cost. No matter what. I must win. And if I lose, I must train, and if I train I must win. Continuing this endless cycle, until there's noone left to stop me from climbing the arduous mountain that is the path to strength. Even if it hurts. Even if I cry. I can never stop. Or else people incapable will be forced to step up... And I don't want that for anyone..."

This vessel feels anger towards many things.

Insults 

Loss

Words of an unkind nature, whatever appears to take more precedent in that moment as well as many other things that would tip the simmering rage within me over the edge.

I'm a kind soul, not a patient one however, so I am not one to let one who continuously flings insults at me as though they were dung to leave unscathed. I understand that sometimes actions in response to mere words is somewhat immature, however, there's a point at which it stops matter and it is more so cowardice to let such actions slide.

However even then my response is equivalent to what had decided to unleash my wrath. If it was simply insults towards me and my swordsmanship, I will throw equal insults back, if an insult is directed to a comrade of mine instead.... I won't be letting that slide off so easily 

Betrayal. It makes me.... Feels such boundless anger, such rage and disgust to those who will incur such wrath. You dare to develop my trust, grow close to me and then abandon me at the very last second wherever you see fit? I refuse to believe that at that point you deserve anymore mercy than an opponent of mine in combat. 

Why does it make me feel so? Due to the nature of my existence. I am bound with countless permanent afflictions to my psyche as well as many other... Issues that all bubble up and coalesce into this disgusting mass of anger and unresolvable issues that all culminate into the rage energy that seldom leaks out of my darkness... That is simply all anger wishing to escape this vessel and be used in a physical manner. However I will only ever use such boundless anger towards my enemies and towards another... Person. And once I do find him... He will rue everything he has sought and everything he has ever afflicted me with for his own sick enjoyment 

My love for others and my endless hatred towards myself.

These are not things that I wish to tell to others, lest they begin to worry about me and attempt to "have a talk" when clearly, me keeping such a secret is due to the fact that I don't want to talk about it. I feel nothing, so why attempt to express anymore than needed to others, just to worry them..I'm supposed to be strong, supposed to be a pillar for others to lean on. So I must become sound of body and mind.

As such I will not be engaging in things that threaten to make me feel certain emotions and thoughts unnecessarily. I must hide it all within me, let it quietly dim out and die until there's nothing left of that feeling and of that secret anymore. I should not feel more than I am required to. 

Harbinger? What a strange concept from the human world. If I do make it all the way to similar state of being, I would preferably stick to my initial name, just Haerin. But if a specific title is required, I will simply go by the name of abyssal lord, if that would be appropriate.

Does one create and run... Games at that level... Is that not merely a simply almost diefied game designer??? Regardless, if I am to entertain this question, the sorts of "games" I would run would contain a number of optional combat elements as well as a certain level of investigation, just enough to be deadly to those who are overconfident and foolish but rewarding but still somewhat cruel to even those who properly plan, are cautious and take note of certain details as everything said should have a manner of importance to the player's goal, don't you believe so?

I will set an entire ceremony if need be! If... I lost her... I don't know what I'd do at this point.... I haven't been able to survive as long as I have from mere luck on my end... She was there EVERYTIME....

And if they also.... We're to pass on, I would set up a ceremony in their honour.

However... If I even know of one person who can return anyone to life, then I would, NO I WILL DO ANYTHING  to bring them back.

If the world has to burn for my comrades to return. Then.... I'd burn it all to cinders, ash and nothing more... Just for the chance to have them return to me, to see their smile, their shock at my actions, their excitement when they win, their emotive yet sad responses to a loss.

And of course... All of which they owned goes to where they reside or to my home to be neatly sealed away in memory.