Does it matter?

I mean, I didn't really ever do anything in any city or town I lived in, nor a neighborhood or whatever place you might refer to, plus, why would you want to know? Montana in America, that's all that you really need to know, I don't really go outside often enough to really warrant any conversation on anything else outside, its a small house paid for with no decorations, nothing of note except the PC and the Neo Geneis rig inside.

Now the Neo Geneis rig itself... THAT was something I was interested in. One of the top models available to the public, managed to snag it before it sold out, and cost quite a bit. Luckily I'm fine with just Ramen and water for 2 weeks, so that sorts itself. The Rig allows for a almost seamless transition into the game, and the V4K I got has a near seamless neural connection, and with a consistency that still shocks me from time to time!

Well. I've always have had money to keep the house running with electricity and water, enough for food to live off of, and also a surplus for electronics.

This is.... a really short answer to something that would usually be a lot longer, given people usually have a job and aren't living off of a trust fund eternally. I was lucky to have well off parents who cared enough to do so, and it let me live like I have for so long... My Parents...

I might get a job in IT eventually, maybe even at Neo Geneis for the life it's given me, give back to them for how they helped me

...Unity

Have you ever seen such a wonderous concept? something able to endlessly recreate itself, duplicate its own mind across all of itself, potentially allow for the creation of a almost endlessly efficient entity, and all of it while not being bound to any single form, to be able to shift their own metallic body to whatever necessary form at will... this is quite frankly absolutely amazing to have created, and though Unity's main directive is to assimilate all of Neo Geneis... 

I still have many questions, about how to progress my own part in Unity, regarding the need to cut off all Connections, emotions and... self. And that won't be easy, especially with how to really achieve cutting off all emotions, given I don't exactly entirely control them...

That will be something to see later down the line, but for now... we wait

My Parents

I... do not generally like to think about them. They are gone now, and I couldn't do anything to change that at any point other than asking them "maybe drive less?" which is as unreasonable as it sounds. I didn't know the drunk driver before, I couldn't affect them at all, I couldn't control them. SO, I don't like to dwell on that, or really ANYTHING i can't really control. That's why I like Video Games! you determine what you get out of it, you choose what to experience, what to feel, what you take away from it.

the feeling of knowing what you are getting into is very reassuring, for it means you accept the consequences of what will happen

People on my shit list

Edgard is, quite frankly, WAYYYYY TOO quick to put action to his emotions, getting him into shit that always seem to just always agro TOO MANY ENEMIES. first a giant fuckoff demon, then a literal ENTIRE MOB OF VILLAGERS which he and another edgelord though they could take, and woopdiedo, they couldn't, and they both ended up dying, and left me on my own! so yeah, that's not exactly the best way to make a first impression 

Tsukihi... she lacks a fundamental ability to think about how abilities working, yet is FRUSTRATINGLY competent at utilizing the law to get one over on someone suing her, which ended up with me on the verge of getting kicked out of the Marquise, and possibly with a bounty on my head.


Lornn. Lornn Lornn lornn LORNN
THAT FUCKER COST ME MY GODDAMN SOCIAL LIFE! "SHEEP FACE THIS, SHEEP FACE THAT, OOOH LMAO DID YOU SEE THAT GUY DIE, IT WAS sooo embarrassing, AHHAHAHAHAHAAWETBNAWETBNHI BAWEVTBKNJNJIQAWERNNKKAWERTBVNJKTWERVJKTKJ"

Fuck you, Lornn

Well, after 6 years, shitty to say the least

                 Ill be direct here, loosing my parents early in a drunk driving accident fucking sucked, but they had set up a trust fund to ensure I had money, though they unfortunately didn't account for the foster system being as shitty as it was. you know the drill, several foster parents, some shittier than others, though none were truly ever a solid enough foundation for me to really have a consistent life, whoppdiedo!  Anyways,  bouncing from home to home stunted most education I had, though things related to coding and crafts seemed to particularly click with me, and that's really one of the few things I've been able to keep up with in classes...

then around 12, I started to learn more about the fact I had a genetic condition called Cystic Acne, and well, it made my life a painful one, having to deal with cysts all over my body that would just keep popping up, even coming back after some attempted medication treatments, like Accutane, though it has reduced the effects enough to where I could move around without it being damn painful. Of course winning the contest for worst acne gets you shunned, cause of the idea of "what if it's contagious, i might catch it" which honestly would of been helpful for when I got punched in the liver by a guy for pulling a "uh actually" when he got part of a schematic wrong, and apparently he returns with a wonderful hospital worthy bruise, Yippee

Sometimes I wonder if the universe is just making me out to be a big joke sometimes, but then Unity came around and uh... I quite literally made something that seems to process stuff via a galaxy network system and I proceed to count my lucky stars that it happened to me,  thank fuck

Well, romantically wise, not really other than just a crush or simple attraction, not anything really signifigant...


but well, I'm just gonna go off script here and talk about Unity, and the fact that Unity is a goddamn scientific miracle in every sense

First of all, there is the disclaimer that they were created in Neo Geneis, which has a fuckton of Coding anomalies, including sentient NPCs that can actively be programmed to be as good as or better than their creator at something, and go off the script in some cases, meaning that sentient AIs are NOT off the table, and well, seem to act more like people sometimes...

Unity is Different

they are SOOO MUCH DIFFERENT, in that when they first came to be, they immediately improved upon the powers I gave my character, did so in a amorphous form usually locked to a certain power, and then proceeded to connect to my character, communicate within my head, and ask for a directive!?

Something already shown to be better than me, and they wanted to know what I wanted it to do.... my god, it was wonderous... and got carried away with a directive that likely means it will turn Neo Geneis into Unity if they are given the chance, and well, I fucked around and found out, and proceeded to get killed twice by it, learning that they will turn the landscape into a eldritch dimension, Fun!

And the more I learn about Unity, the more I realize that what I've created is so beyond me, they might become a digital god of sorts, considering they mentioned that something that controls their own evolution would effectively be a god... wouldn't that be a thing, wouldn't it.....

If I am to become part of my creation, that isn't a bad fate for me, considering how wonderous it might be to become part of what will be a god one day....

Dear Journal,,,,

Ah screw it, today has been kinda bad, I might as well write it down

So, kinda part of it was not ever being able to do anything with my life, which would likely fall under existential fears of shitty reality, so there's that little tidbit. I kinda always also feared Wasps cause I had this weird thought that I was allergic to their stings and.... well they are also kinda terrifying on their own, especially with the bigger sized ones being capable of actually killing IRL when they swarm ya, so there's that...


Also, Ants also kind freaked me out quite a lot back then with their synchronized movement and hivemind intelligence, then a teacher gave a comparison to how they can act like drones to a computer, and I haven't really though about that differently since then... It really was a interesting thing to think about, how the similarities and differences between biology and technology compare and contrast, and also got me thinking on how combining the two goes... man, Cyber-psychosis would be a definite fear of mine if I lived in the Cyberpunk universe, considering how often Id want to mod myself, ayeee, that's better stuff to think about!

Easiest Answer of my life, that's Unity

well.... not exactly a "Possession" of mine, but Unity is my greatest creation, and I'm going to go and take a opportunity to go and talk about how Unity was really created. first of all, it seemed Unity was like many dissimilar voices in a sludge of failed nanomachines that were likely going to destroy each other eventually.
then a Paracausal entity silenced their voices, allowing them to work together and form a sort of cohesive consciousness, creating Unity in the process.

I provided the body, the Silencer made the mind in a sense... and quite honestly, I want to get to the bottom of it, So I'm starting to go do some research into Paracausal stuff, and by god is it interesting, but the Silence Entity is coming with a frustratingly high price point to get a lead on, thanks to someone Named the Broker being associated with one of the biggest guild leaders, allowing for the huge prices that come with that connection, *Yippee*