Benji Kratzen's Questionnaire

I live in Bethlehem Pa. I grew up in this area and am pretty well rooted here. I did my undegrad local and in order to pay off loans I wokred as an apprentice handyman. I after college I took it up full time and ran my own private handyman company. My home is a warehouse that I partly repurposed for residency. I sleep, plan for my work, and store my equipment there.

Another major reason why I still stay in this area is because my Mama is here. her age is finally catching up to her and, despite raising me on her own and largely being an independent minded woman, she requires someone to check in on her somewhat regularly. But I dont mind. In fact Mama is the only person in the world who my short temper can be managed for. I speak to her about all my frustrations and snaps both to animate and inanimate objects alike. come to think of it, I never expliclty mention the murders Ive commited in these brief outbursts. Still, regardless of whether she knows the extent to which I go, she also always had a similar distaste for other people. They are unberabley irratating and useless. So, naturally she always takes my side.

My main source of income is through my job as a Handyman. I have been doing it for a while now and have become profeicent in a number of areas. Jobs ranging simple repairs to construction/remodeling; and some jobs as diffrerent as landscaping and setting up solar panels. I offer a mixed bag which is also partly why I bought the old ware house. I have quite a lot of different equipment to store. 

The money I earn goes rent and other expense. As I mentioned i prefere working alone but sometimes for the larger projects I hire some addional help. I used to spend money on creams and experiemntal treatment for my chronic dry and itchy skin but most all of them were short releif or made no difference. I have pretty much given up on trying to remedy this hell through western means. Since this skin condition is likely the source of my quickness to anger and voilence I try not to higher new people often anymore. There are a few regular hires that I have developed a somewhat tolerable relationship with. 

While outward it may seem that I am committed to my job, theres a part of me that knows deep down that this is an ambition that has been entirly socially constructed. Its a career, it pays the bills, and I am good at it for no other reason than it was what I have been practicing all my adult life. 

However in those moments where I snap. Thats where my true ambition lies. I want nothing more than for me to be free of this never ending itch that taken over my body. Because I have no clear answer for the cause, each outburts of rage becomes directed at whatever I immediatly deem to be causing me inconvenience. While logically I know it isnt the case that they cause my itch to flare up, my subconscious despertaly makes that connection anyways. Its been the reason for the many assaults and two murders. While those outburst dont make the itch go away, I would be lying if I said they weren't in some way cathardic.

In this pursuit I would kill, dying however is not in my plans

The most defining moment of my life was my first murder that I commited. I was driving back to my warehouse after a project. It had been a mix hot, humid and rainy, one of the many environmental conditions that make my skin flare up. So already I was irritated. At this point the rain really picked up to the point that you really could not see too well in front of you. At a traffic light I bumped into the back of driver ahead of me. We were the only ones on this road. It was a small bumb but the man came out of his car furious. He walks up to my window and start yelling at me endlessly. meanwhile my skin is crawlng and all I want to do is get back home and shower. Then I snapped. I have a license to carry and always carry a gun in my car. I didn't hesitate at all once my mind made the subconsious connection that this would allevaite my itching. I grabbed my gun from under my seat, rolled down my window and shot him the head. I picked up his body and hid it in one of my house projects for a client. 

This defined me because it was then that I realized how strongly the part of me that wanted to stop ithcing can get a hold of me. When thats faced with the value of another persons life, it takes priority.

ehh I did this already