Phonny Gal's Questionnaire

My sister and I never wanted to live anywhere grand or big. It's why we settled on a simple apartment in New York. It's in a pretty nice place, good food around us, plus the neighborhood was really nice. This lovely old lady down the hall visits us every once in a while to spend time with Cass. The college kid next door has been teaching her how to work online and do tons of stuff online. They've been a great help since Cass doesn't...well...she can't leave anymore. That's why I scouted the place before buying it. I don't want Cass to get worried about who we'll be around, but the people seem nice enough.

Money is...it comes and goes. Online services are more expensive than doing it yourself, but we don't exactly have a choice. Cass has managed to do some online art commissions, which I am all for. I'm happy she's getting to work on something she's passionate about.

I work outside, so I usually have to leave Cass alone in the apartment for the day. I'm not sure how to describe my work, but I'm...a business partner, if that makes any sense. Maybe wandering salesperson is the better word for it, but that sounds dumb.

It's nothing big. I just find younger entrepreneurs who're looking to get their business off the ground. That's where I step in. If what they've got looks good, I'll strike a deal with them. As long as they can provide the product or service, I can sell it. That's all the cooperation I need from them. Then once they're in a safe spot, I'll take whatever commission fee was agreed upon, and leave the rest to them. I haven't been able to check back on the few I've helped but...I hope they're doing alright.

Cass says I should try to be just a bit more selfish with what I want in life. Truth be told though, I don't...have a lot that I want. I mean, I want to live a comfortable life. I want to be able to provide for Cass. I want to live a long life, that's a good one. But I don't...have anything beyond that. Is that bad? To not want anything more?

I just...

I'd like to see other people's ambitions more than mine. I can't really do much. I'm just a smooth talker. But people like Cass? They've got much more potential than I do. All these kiddos I see trying to start a business with nothing but each other and a dream, I wanna see them succeed. I wouldn't kill just to help others, but I am willing to take some risks. It's all part of entrepreneurship, taking risks and a little bit of everyday gambling.

I'd...say this changed Cass more than this changed me, but I guess it was pretty big for us both. When I was just a teenager and Cass was a kid, we were out a little later than we should have been. We wanted a bit more time together without our parents nagging us back at home. If we'd went home at the time, maybe we wouldn't have been taken. Some...man, he knocked us both out. When I woke up, I had no clue where I was. It was some...dirty facility. People were all around me. All either around my age or younger. Cass was with me too, and we were both scared for our lives. We couldn't do anything but sit there, chained and handcuffed, listening in the other room to either tools revving, flesh tearing, or people screaming.

The rest was a blur. At least...I want it to be. Cass and I were lucky...if you could even call it that. The man's experiments hadn't killed us, but the severity for both of us was different. My shoulder never felt the same, while Cass lost thr ability to use her legs. When we were knocked out and dumped on the sidewalk, I had to carry Cass to a nearby hospital while screaming for help.

The whole thing was...fucked up to say the least. Sometimes I go to sleep and I'm brought back to that place, but I've just learned to stay up a little longer than usual. Cass on the other hand...doesn't leave the house anymore. She doesn't trust the outside anymore. It took a long time to convince her to move with me to another apartment too but...we managed! And we're still alive. And we're still trying.

Cass...lost so much. I want her to take back whatever she could, and I'll keep fighting for that. I want to help people with the same issue. I don't want people to lose their dreams, whether it be because of failure or because of...fucked up shit like this. 

The person I'm closest to is obviously, Cass! She's a lot younger than me, just around high school age if she'd continued attending it. As much as we want her to go to school, she can't leave the apartment and I don't trust online schooling. She's just been stuck there for...a long long time now. Because of that we have to order most of our stuff online. Food, work supplies, furniture, all that. It's been kinda pricey, which is why she began picking up art commissions, to help out. I'm all for it honestly. Hopefully she thinks about going further than just commissions.

There's also the neighbors I mentioned. One's a college kid who's also living on his own. He visits us every once in a while to help Cass with online stuff. Both for judging what you buy online, and for marketing her commissions better. The other's this nice old lady that brings us baked goods and cooks us dinner when her grandkid works late for the week. It took a long time for Cass to trust either of them, but I think she's reached a point where she'll get worried if they stop visiting.

Finally, there's our parents. After our kidnapping, they didn't know what to do, but I don't exactly blame 'em. We tried seeing a therapist about it, but I think it only really helped me. Cass still had difficulties. They still visit every once in a while to have lunch and to check in on Cass. They are starting to get up in age though. I think Cass and I might have to start visiting them soon...if we ever get to it...

I feel like I had a pretty average childhood. Well...as average as you could get it to be. Before the kidnapping, things were fine. After it, it took a while before I could properly trust myself to be alone with others. My parents were great. They understood how hard it affected me and accompanied to any therapist appointments, plus made sure that I felt safe at home. We got new locks on our windows, doors, a security system, all that. They were great. My sister...wasn't able to adapt like I was. She stopped attending classes, and we're still working on either finding proper online classes or helping her get through her trauma. I was able to come back, but I couldn't really talk to others until college. Even then I never talked to make friends. I kept discussions short, quick, to the point. Just so I can walk away as fast as possible and go somewhere safer. 

I just kept thinking about it happening again. Trusting someone enough, being too vulnerable, and suddenly I'm back. Restraints on my wrists, the sound of tools cutting into flesh, the scared look of peers around me. I still think about it, but...I guess I can trust some people now. I hope I'm right about them.

I'm guessing you're talking about romantic love. Hmmm...

I think I had a crush on someone. Before the incident, some cute girl. I sat next to her a lot in class, but we never really talked much. But I really liked her smell, and the way she spoke. She had such a...deep, husky, voice. I think if she told me to kill myself I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I wonder where she is right now. I didn't really keep in touch with her. I haven't bothered looking for a relationship either. Feels like I've got a little too much on my plate with my sister and my job. I can't say I never thought about it though. Settling down with someone to stop the hustle and bustle of life. But I'm way far from that ever happening. I need to take care of my sister, and my job, then I can get started on actually looking for partners.