Pringles's Questionnaire

"Oh, I live right nearby actually! Little place called Acme. Pretty small, everyone knows everyone, one post office kinda place. Lots of beautiful scenery there, I recommend you go there after you're done with, uh-"

[a break in the recording, followed by: ]

"Not a lot of people live there, which is kind of ideal for me. Nice and quiet, but I can get around and run my business as a guide to the surrounding mountain region easily enough - anybody that's going up into the mountains is okay with driving a little out of the way anyway, and I can usually meet them out there too. Nice camping, as well! You should check it out afte-"

[The tape ends.]

"Right now I get most of my cash from my small business! I say most, but I mean all, haha. Cause I guess tips are included in the cash I make from the business, right? Basically just walking around with strangers, but I dress it up nice. You know, backpacking guide or nature guide or whatever the tourists are wanting that day. I guess I should work on the stay away fro-"

[The tape cuts, continuing with: ]

"Most of my cash goes into advertising, you know SEO type stuff, as well as fuel, keeping my car running, and the actual gear I use."

[The tape ends there.]

[Pringles looks a little vacant in this tape, unlike the prior ones where they've seemed animated and present.]

"I just want everybody to be safe, you know? If someone's getting shot, well, I'd like them to not be. Or if there's a rockslide, I want it to fall a few steps further from where my charges are. Or if there's any sort of fu-"

[That last sentence gets Pringles animated again, as they start to raise their voice, before it cuts back to the vacant look as they continue: ]

"If somebody's gonna die out there it needs to be me. That's what they pay me for - to make sure no one dies out there. But if someone does, I'm the one without anyone to go home to."

[Pringles looks scared, in this one.]

"I mean, this was fucked, you know? It's hard to describe, but... I mean... Are they okay? Did you guys get them out? Not all of them, I know that. I looked one in the eye. I don't think they were still there, if you know what I mean. Yeah, of course you do. Look at your gear. This is just a Tuesday for you, isn't it?"

[There's a pause, and the tape cuts ahead a bit]

"I mean, I think I'm okay? I don't feel weird. Nothing that you said might happen is happening, so. Was that rea-"

[The tape ends there.]

[Pringles looks happy as this tape starts]

"I mean, best person in the world, nay, the universe... gotta be Jerry. That guy's on another level. He's like if you grabbed an Angel and mashed it up with the Giving Tree and then poured that slurry into a mold of like... a golden retriever. But it was a person, I guess. That mighta been a bit much but you know what I mean. Guy's a bottle of sunshine. He runs the grocery store in town, did I mention yet? So he knows everyone, too. His wife, Gene, is a bit of an oddball, and always gives me weird looks that I can't really figure out. Loves her wine and cheese spreads, though! I've been invited over to their place for charcuterie and red wine more times than I can count. They're also friends with the owner of the diner, Charlie. She comes over for the charcuterie too, a lot."