Danya Saespir's Questionnaire

High up in the clouds, far from the bustling world down below, and hiding in the safety of a cozy apartment.

I picked the tallest apartment building I could afford to get away from it all, but I never left my home city. I guess I could never break ties from this place. My home is comfortable and warm with the forest green accent walls on pale blue, the fluffy bed with many pillows, the full closet, and a fireplace for my cat to warm up next to. There is an office with dark wood shelves full of medical, anatomical, and general knowledge books. The living room doubles as a dining room with a convertible coffee table. Instead of a TV, I have a projector pointing at the wall. I don’t need too much space when living alone, but it’s well decorated and clean.

It took some work to turn this place into a proper haven, and I feel safer here. Why not enjoy the nice things in life?

I am a critical care paramedic working in EMS. It gives me enough to live comfortably and save for the future. With all the paranormal happenings, it makes the profession more risky due to the unknown, but what's a little bit of risk when it comes to saving lives?

It took a few years to get to financial stability, and a long time to build my home as I wanted it. After paying the educational debt, my money is put into the payment for my apartment. Aside from that, I collect vintage fountain pens, books, and nice clothing. Being able to afford some luxury is what my mother would have wanted for me. 

I want to do my job and help people, because not everyone deserves a second chance, but many do.

I lost my mother and my older sister after starting my career. It cost them and myself so much to put me through education, and what was it all for? I spent my life stuck in the books and at work, but I couldn't even help them when they were infected with an acute, mysterious illness. The people that matter are gone, so what was it all for? This gift I have, this career, is all I have left of them. It’s slipping away and I am continuously overwhelmed with new anomalies that we are not equipped to handle. 

The 8 year old girl found in the woods at the middle of the night, the mangled bodies of rotting men found, the people coming in with strange bite marks on their body, and the unrecognizable diseases cropping up. I am not a physician, but I know traditional medicine is not equipped for this after getting them to the hospital. They are all slipping through my fingers, along with my lifeline for purpose. 

Whatever it takes, I must survive and endure the hardships necessary to be able to protect myself, heal the wounds of others, and even heal my own loneliness. It would be a waste for me to die and waste away. Of course, minimizing casualties would be great. 

I could not even go to the funeral I planned, so I buried my head in the quicksand of work and pleasure. There, perhaps, I could change the outcome for someone else.

I was busy working, like usual, as a first responder. After the harsh hours, I was rewarded with the news that my mother and sister had perished of a mysterious illness in another hospital. Without any warning. From one hospital to the next, I drove with bated breath. It wasn't any use anyways; there was nothing else to see aside from the white sheet over their corpses. 

They worked hard to put me through school, so in turn, I worked hard to further my career. No time for breaks, and barely any visits. Now, I am financially stable, but what was the point? I could not support them in the end, and I am not even aware of what acute illness could have taken them without warning. There were not enough pictures of us together for the emotional debt I owed to them. They built a life for me, and I wish to take comfort in that privilege, but I still felt empty. I ran away, high in the sky with my tall apartment view, but I am still tethered to the city. Tethered to my job, because it was all I had left from them. 

I used to be a serious workaholic, but then I began to indulge in comforts, my home haven, pretty things, and a bit of actual alcohol. Ironically, I became more lively, sociable, and well rounded after I lost them. I relaxed and I changed because there was no point in trying too hard when life was so fragile. Maybe it was just another way to try and fill the emptiness and regrets. I still had hands that could heal, so I needed to put them to use. It would be wasteful to get depressed and let myself go. If I can preserve the life of others hanging on thread, then maybe they won’t have as many regrets.

Lin - Childhood friend and victim services worker

• Lin’s been around since elementary school, and we somehow kept in touch over the years. I am lucky she is someone who I can always call and make plans with. It was very difficult to maintain friendships after high school and work. I should have made more of an effort, but I am lucky that Lin was always there.
• She works in an almost adjacent field: victim services. It is her part time job to arrive onto scenes and help calm victims after traumatic experiences. Sometimes I see her after I am called onto the scene, right when I finish making sure certain people are ok and do not need immediate care. An extra ally on the field.

Nico - Fellow EMS worker and teammate 

• A real charmer and good leader, which luckily for him, covers for his jokester demeanour and occasional lack of professionalism. Used to despise his attitude. I still do sometimes, but he makes a good driver. His ability to legally speed makes me think that his mom birthed him during a NASCAR race. 

Jenna - Another fellow EMS worker, but also a former classmate, and currently injured

• I told that brat that she was going to work herself to death. If you thought I am young for my position, then wait until you see her. After I realized how much focusing on work took from me, I saw it in her too. She said I changed when I started to point out the burnout she was headed for. Now she is recovering from a broken leg after a call went dangerous. Patients can attack us in this line of work too, which motivates me to find any means possible to protect us and those who need our help.

My single mother raised my little sister and me in a small townhouse. Dad was never in the picture, and I never bothered to care about him when I was busy studying to give my family a chance.

I was not the most social, but I got by in high school and post secondary. My mom was supportive of my future career and the time I needed to work towards it. I still rushed and worked as hard as I could, forgoing a lot of the joys of adolescence. I had to take care of my little sister sometimes because caretakers are expensive. Did I drown myself in work to support them, or did I do it to get away? Who knows at this point. We weren’t well off, but my mom made it so we were comfortable. 

The friends that I made were pretty much similar to me: quiet, driven by the need to advance in the world, and survive this socioeconomic pit. It was more like a study group than a friend group. Lin is the exception. She’s a ray of light, childhood friend of mine from the same neighborhood. She worked to drag me out of the home to try and do “normal kid stuff”, like see the sun instead of the white light of a computer screen. Her good heart helped me from becoming jaded, which probably made me a become a better person overall. 

I’ve never been in love since it was never a priority, and no one has time for that, but I have always been attracted to funny people with intelligence. I used to be more serious than I currently am, so it was always a draw to see people bringing laughter to cut through a bleak reality. I try to channel that now sometimes. 

I have admired plenty of pretty people, intellects, and witty jokesters. I just never took it anywhere, and accepted that. Heartless hookups have been had, rejections have been dished out.

Love sounds nice, but it is hard to be available for it.