Herb Spicer's Questionnaire

"I pass my waking days at the lovely United States Disciplinary Barracks, Southern Branch located in Ft. Cavazos right next to beautiful Killeen, Texas. My stay in this godforsaken facility the result of a dumb decision I made when I was 19. No, not faking the coma. That came after the real coma. Joining the army. Faking the coma is probably the only reason I'm still alive now. I got it pretty good, all things considered. Yeah I ain't allowed to leave, but I ain't down there with the gen pop suckers. It's cushy in here, a top of the line hospital bed, 3 vegetarian meals a day, a newspaper every morning, an honest to god window when the divider ain't up and the only thing that keeps me sane; the Sanyo DS13390 affixed to the wall across me. Best of all, I get the room all to myself. I think it counts if the guys they put in here with me are unconscious for the majority of their stay. The ones who come in awake always wake up screaming 2 to 3 nights in, claiming sleep paralysis and that the thing they saw looked just like me. What's funny is that for most of my first year faking it, the same thing was happening to me. But it was either learn to deal with it or try getting a good night's sleep in Kandahar or Helmand. I think you know which I chose."

"Ha! You think these dickhead army tightwads would let me get my hands on a dollar? Hell they'd probably charge me for the stay if they could. No, the only asset I had when I enlisted was the pets.com stock Nana gave me after I graduated and a full set of the Matrix action figures still in the box. Safe to say I don't spend my nonexistent cash reserves on anything. First thing I'd buy if I had some money would be a nice flat screen TV for the room or one of those virtual reality headsets I see em advertising. These jobs pay you right? Not just in otherworldly experience or like blood coins or whatever? Maybe Tammy or Darrell could help me get some stuff if I make it worth their while."

"Maybe it's cause I went in to a coma fearing for my life, but I dreamt a lot of scary shit in that weird half-state I was in for those 8 years. Didn't help that what woke me up was right up there with some of those nightmares. It was worth it though, for the nice dreams I'd get every once in a while. The ones where I could create things and shape the world, a better world. This wasn't just simple lucid dreaming, these were moments from another life in another time and I was their architect. Those memories were what I held onto when I woke up the first time. Found I couldn't dream like that anymore, but I was able to sit with those old visions and work my way to their truth. My unconscious brain had just fired in the exact right sequence those nights and I, the conscious me, was given a brief taste of what it was like to exist parallel to this grim reality. And I thought what if I could repeat that sequence somehow. Took me a while, but I found out how. And now I want to give that gift to the rest of the world. A simple signal is all that is needed. Well that and a conduit capable of transmitting it. I know I can be that conduit even if I'm not ready yet. But my eyes are open and I can see the edges of the veil, I hope the knowledge I need is just past it."

"I mean clearly taking that Humvee and going over the guardrail from I-14 onto the 190 interchange. I had barely learned to drive earlier that summer, and it sure as hell wasn't in a car like that. But I knew someone was gonna pay for those buildings in New York. And obviously, me and every other slack jawed dipshit in those barracks was gonna be how they'd make 'em pay. So I ran. Didn't make it too far before the adrenaline had me whipping that Humvee like it was Crazy Taxi. Think I broke all my ribs, both legs, an arm, ruptured some shit, fractured some other shit, and probably separated some additional shit. All I know is some of those bones didn't heal right, but it didn't bother anybody til it was able to bother me when I woke up in 2009. Yeah, in the chaos of that shrink going postal. Someone turned the TV off when carting a guy into my room and I just reached over and turned it back on. Luckily no one noticed that time, so I was able to get back in position and start the ruse. But those years stuck in reality-limbo had opened my eyes even if I didn't realize it at the time. Thinking back to the accident, I can't say I trust my recollection of it. Must've played it over and over in my head while I was under, mentally agonizing over injuries I wasn't awake to feel. Now anytime I think about it, all I remember is the song playing when the truck flipped. And I laugh cause it's different every time."

"Darrell Cromartie is the man. After I got caught over at Metroplex, thrown in the brig, and had the first episode here; Darrell's was the face I woke up to. Apparently I'd been asleep for 39 hours and nothing they did could get me up until Darrell had lunch in my room. His wife, Pam, works for a pitmaster here in Killeen, making sides. I could smell those mustard greens on the other side, think I cried when he let me have a bite. Turns out we went to the same high school in Austin, 'cept he was a couple years older than me. He was the one that let my folks know where they had taken me after Metroplex and he's the one who set me up with this great room. It was nice having him fill me in on the 8 years I was out. I missed a lot, to hear him tell it, but he understands why I did what I did."

"My brother Bryce has started visiting me a couple of times a year since our folks passed. Never get a heads up when he'll be here. Bryce is a big time realtor out in Austin, started right after '08 and is still making money hand over fist. Might've been making a little too much money for a while there. It was soon after his second kid was born, but he asked me a lot of question about how prison was and how I thought he'd fare in it. It's funny, he told me he used to use seeing me as an excuse whenever he wanted time away from his wife and kids. One day he said 'what the hell?' and actually made the drive, but when he got here they told him I'd been under for close to a day and would probably not wake up until that Monday. I woke up 3 minutes before the time he'd given himself to head back. What's funnier is I think we both pity the other, don't think the visits would survive us hearing that though." 

"Coolest dude I shared the room with was Chuy Zambrano. Definitely helped that his insomnia meant he didn't see a damn thing when his body eventually forced him to sleep. He got out like a year ago and even though we only bunked together for like 4 months, he came and visited me. Still does once in a blue moon. Real religious guy but to quote him he's 'like the old ass revolution guys, a deist or whatever.' I love when he visits cause he's the one person who doesn't get freaked out when I talk about my dreams. He's always got questions; always asks 'did you see God this time KFC?' Hell last time he told me he'd even been reading some pretty out there stuff to see what I was talking about. I think he's trying to find evidence of a creator. Hope he thanks me for proving him wrong when all's said and done."