Sarah "Bunny" Brok's Questionnaire

I don't much care which city I'm in, but I do prefer to live in cities. Big ones, like New York, Los Angeles, London, etc. I've lived in most of the major cities in the US, UK, and Canada, they're all largely the same. Las Vegas stood out, but if you're strange enough to blend in on the Vegas strip, you'll do the same in Hollywood. Every time, the cops eventually bother me and I leave. They want to find my parents (they're dead), or find me a new home (I'll just run away), or send me to juvenile hall (I always break out eventually), or even try to send me to school. No school for me, I'll read stuff at the library though. Their books and computers are plenty for teaching myself all sorts of things. They also make great places to hide from the weather.

No matter what city I'm in, I find somewhere inside. Cities with subways offer a lot, but those without always have somewhere abandoned to hide in. It's gotten easier lately, easier to find food too, I just turn into a mouse or rat and go anywhere I like. Once I learn to hold a shape longer I can sleep anywhere I like too, I bet the ventilation system in a mall would be nice, especially since so many of them are half empty these days.

Money? Hah! As if I get money. What little I get goes to staying alive, whether that's fuel for the body or something to keep me warm or dry. I'll steal to get by, but stealing money gets people angry, and angry people sic the cops on you. I'd rather avoid the blue jerks until I find a good way to handle them, maybe I'll learn to turn into something scarier than a rat soon. Or something more harmless and less attention getting than a rat. Sure, I can get away as a bird, but I haven't figured out a lot more yet.

I should definitely turn into a crow some time, snag more than free food. Cops don't pursue animals for theft.

Y'know, the world would really be better off without cops. Everything they actually do would be better done by someone else. They shouldn't be doing things like social work, but they do. They shouldn't get involved in domestic disputes, but they do. They're not even good at investigation, no matter what television says. Most people obey traffic laws whether cops are there or not, and when they're there they just cause traffic jams. They don't even pretend to serve or protect any more unless what they're serving and protecting is money. As for drugs? Do like some of those Nordic places, treat them like a health issue. They're supposed to arrest criminals, but never arrest the real criminals like CEOs and other rich people.

Sure, the best way to get rid of them for good is to establish other people to do the stuff that needs doing, and make sure those people Are Not Armed. I don't have any way to do that, even if I knew how. Maybe someday. In the meantime, I'll cause as much havoc for them as I can without getting captured. Cost them money so they can't get things done, make them look incompetent, keep them from hurting people. Would I kill any though? I can imagine I might if they did catch me, if I couldn't get away. I'd definitely at least hurt them, especially to keep them from hurting or imprisoning people. They claim they only arrest criminals, but if those same criminals could get by any other way almost all of them would. Give them the money the police waste on military gear, reduce crime better and more effectively, especially since it costs just to keep them in prison. Prisons are just legal slavery anyway, that's why so many are privatized, rich people profiting off of people who were just unlucky enough to not be born into wealth.

None of that is worth risking my life though, get away and do what I can later. Dying just means I can't get rid of them.

I don't remember when my parents died, I chose to live on the streets, so those aren't defining events to me. What is? When I first understood an animal. Birds rarely have a lot to say, cats don't like to talk, but dogs? Dogs may seem simple, but they do have things to say, especially about things they smell. Did you know that they can smell all sorts of illnesses? And they can smell me. Maybe I'll find a way to stop that, but one of them told me something very important one day. He said I smell like a rabbit. I know what that means now. I'm still trying to figure out if the other smells he mentioned mean the same thing, but I suspect they do. I'm learning about myself, more than I ever imagined before that day. I'd heard a few words from nearby creatures for maybe a week before that, but he was the first I had a conversation with.

I don't know a lot of people for long, but some of them are more memorable than others. Three of those?

One, the girl I met in Wales, another street kid. Her grandmother taught her about legends and folklore, and about their local language. I remember that Wales is what the English call the place, but that means 'foreigner' which is pretty insulting. Anyhow, after I'd learned my first form, I shared with her what I could do. Seeing me turn into a rabbit, she insisted that I'm something called a pwca. She even told me the 'proper' way to spell it. I bet she's right, both about me and the word itself.

Two, a librarian I met in New York. She did so much, not just encouraging me to read and pointing me toward good sources to catch up to where I ought to be in school. She understood that I want to stay free, so she never called the cops on me. Instead she'd sneak me into the archives sometimes for a nap, or leave snacks where she knew I'd find them, but best is when she got me a new hoodie. My old one was torn and stained and smelly. We made sure this one was 'distressed' without making it reek. She even took me to the laundromat a few times to wash it when it got bad. Any time I get enough quarters I do that, and now I avoid adults by shifting into something small to watch and wait for things to be clean.

Three, the old guy in Oregon. Well, he's like 50 by now, so not That old. I left my mother's diary with him before I could really read much of it, he figured out stuff from it that I didn't know, like that mom was born in Wales, also called Cymru. That's why I went to Cardiff in the first place. He also told me that my last name is Brok. Mom insisted that it means badger. She wasn't married and dad died in a car crash before I was born, she never wrote his last name down but I doubt it matters. He also tracked down my birth certificate and social security number, and also made sure I know how to find him if I ever want to get a proper ID. Not yet, I don't want the cops to nail me down that easily.

I don't know which one is really the most important to me, but the girl in Wales is the one I miss the most. I hope she's doing well, I'll have to track her down some time. Also I looked up her name recently, the traditional spelling is Siobhan (shuh von) even if she doesn't use it. She's the one who gave me the annoying nickname almost everyone seems to figure out now, but I like it when she calls me that.

Didn't know dad, just that he died in a car wreck before I was born. I didn't know mom long enough to care about dad through her, and I barely remember her anyway. I know how to get her diary if I ever want it.

After mom died the government stepped in, they made me go to school for a couple of years. I hated it. Even if it wasn't an attack on my senses just to be there, everybody was a slave to a clock and an adult forcing obedience. They made us draw but hated my drawings. They made us read but only what they said to. They taught us math but in ways that make complicated math harder to learn. I'm glad I escaped that.

I don't mind learning though, and now I know how to teach myself, better than those control freaks could. Also, I listen to the adults who want to share what they know, as long as they don't order me around. Lots of homeless people went to college, bet the cops don't know that.

Anyhow, education aside, even living on the streets, I had a good childhood. Free to do what I want when I want, and see new places while I do that. It's a little lonely, but I'm welcome back every time I go somewhere again.

Love? Like the adult kind? I'm still a kid, so no. Probably not when I get older either. I don't get why people want all that junk, it gets in the way of just caring about others. Sure, pick people you care about, spend time with them, do stuff for them, but obsessing and kissing don't make sense.

There's that one girl in Wales I mentioned, the one with the Irish name, I did feel extra special around her. That's just close friends, right? I do want to see her again, but not too soon or I might get locked up for stealing stuff. I gave most of it to her anyway, gotta travel light.

If I know I'm afraid of something, I go straight at it so I can stop being afraid. I'm afraid of a lot less now, but there's still stuff to work on. No fear of the dark, or being alone, or of adults, I dealt with all that. I was afraid of getting hurt and not being able to fight people off, but I'm better at both of those now. I'm still a little afraid of heights, I can't change fast enough to fly if I fall.

I think my biggest fear is not being able to help people who need me. That's probably why I'm doing all this, I'm scared what would happen if I don't. That's the worst part of getting caught by the police for being homeless, they put you in confinement. I could probably just wait that out, but what if I'm needed right then? I'm not sure I could bear it.

Oh, I'm also afraid that with all these people fighting me and around me, I might kill someone fighting back. I think that's the biggest reason my new belt lets me pull my punches just enough. I'd rather knock people out, even most bad people can get better if they want to.

Until just now, I'd have said either my mom's diary or the hoodie the librarian gave me. The diary was my only connection to what happened before I was born, but now I know someone who was there! Well, I already knew him, but I didn't know about him really. He's keeping the diary safe for me. And the hoodie? I still love it, but I love my new hooded dress even more. Well, once the newness wears off they'll probably be equal. Still keeping both.

My new most prized possession? My belt. Now I can finally really help in a fight! Plus, I think of the badger on it as representing my mom, and of course the rabbit is me. I wish I'd known her properly.

Other than that stuff, I don't really get attached to much. I know I'll eventually lose most of what I have, so I'd rather focus on experiences over stuff. I think even if I was rich I'd feel the same way, it's better to have a safe and cozy hole than a big mansion. Y'know, that sounds like a warren. A rabbit warren for me, a badger warren to mom. That makes me feel better about not knowing how to turn into a badger, but I still want to someday.

Really, it's the contracts. It isn't my suspicions about harbingers or their habit of leaving out important details, tho those are a pain. It's mostly the transport, they've started asking me if I can get somewhere quickly then making exceptions if there's someone even newer to this than I am. Transport from where they send me is difficult too. I don't mind staying places for a while if I chose to be there, but I didn't choose most of them. If I need to leave for personal reasons I can't.

I thought about asking for a self driving car, but I hate relying on vehicles. I also thought about profiting from urban exploring, but that's a big hassle and I'm not sure if it would work. I guess I could focus on learning horse form, that's supposed to be natural for pwca.

If only the common swift lived in North America, I could just be one of those.

Unless I'm at dad's place, I start by rolling out of whatever space I hid in to sleep. Then I put on my dress, make sure all my stuff is there, and check if I have any money. If I have enough, I might go eat inside somewhere. If I don't, it's dumpster diving time, or foraging if it's wild enough. At worst, I'll turn into something small and eat plants a human can't digest.

After that, it's time to find somewhere to exist for the day. I like libraries for that. Sometimes I'll just find an empty building and hide there, or use animal form to spend the day watching movies.

At dad's place though, I get up and take a shower before getting dressed for breakfast downstairs. I share a room with Penny when I'm home. After breakfast I need to decide if I'm spending the day watching educational videos, reading, wandering outdoors, or something else. Today I think I'll take a book with me and find a cozy perch high up somewhere, then enjoy the sunlight while I read.

I'm not used to the idea of looking my best for anywhere, it wasn't long ago that I didn't even have a sundress to put on once I washed up. I just wore my hoodie, t-shirt, sneakers, and jeans everywhere. I didn't really even wash up that often. I have a nice hoodie dress now, but also I tend to go barefoot. If it's something contract related, I'd be wearing my Shifter's Silk and BB Belt (the Bs are Badger and Bunny).

So, to look really properly my best? I guess I'd have to go out and buy some new clothes, preferably with dad's money since I still barely have any. I'd also put my hair in one long braid, since I'd be stuck without a hood on that kind of dress. I don't know enough about makeup to do any of that, so maybe I'd paint my nails? I dunno. Once I have the outfit, it would probably take at least an hour to wash up, get dressed, and braid my hair. Longer if I can't borrow a hair dryer.

Oh my, my Next birthday?! I just turned 14 a week ago! I don't know what will be going on for my 15th birthday!

I just asked Penny, she says I should have a keen-sin... a quinceanera. It's not my culture, but Penny thinks her mom was from Puerto Rico, so if she really does remember then I guess it's hers. I guess since we're sisters now, it's close enough to mine?

All I know about it is stuff like I'm supposed to wear a new pretty dress, a really fancy one, and I think there's a pinata?

Ok, I didn't think that suited me so I stepped away again to see what coming of age was like in Cymru way back. That's where my mom's ancestors are from, modern people call it Wales but that's a rude thing the English decided to call it. It's extra rude that their royal family declares the oldest son Prince of Wales when he's never even from there.

So anyway, people back then were weird and sexist about this stuff. A boy was considered a man at 14, but a girl was old enough to marry at 12. They'd usually marry some gross older guy too. I won't. I don't care that they'd say I'm old enough.

I think next year I'll take the boy tradition and adjust the age for the modern world. I'll make up a ceremony declaring myself an adult. Sure, legally I won't be, but I will be to me. Until then, I'm going to enjoy still being a kid.

I don't think it'll stay a regret, at least I hope not. It's that I stopped wandering when I started doing these contract things. Now it feels like I need money because I can't just take my time going places on the way to where I end up.

I might regret more about contracts eventually, but I think it's still worth it. Floyd wouldn't have made presents for me if he didn't think I needed them, but also was ready to use them properly. So even if I wasn't learning how to shift better, or make magic holes to store stuff in, he wouldn't give me the fun stuff. Is that worth it? Maybe, for now I guess, but I don't want to see people die around me any more! I've been lucky so far, but the weird bus driver and the rest didn't deserve all that.

Dad said I shouldn't treat the new outfit like permission to be a superhero, but I think I gotta. Superheroes save people, and I don't think I have a choice any more, people will die if I don't and I don't want them to.

Yes, I want to wander again, but I'm not sure if I can any more. I don't want to cry, I'm gonna stop talking now.

I'm not completely sure, since before all this I was slowly figuring stuff out on my own, so that was inherent whatsit, but I don't know if I would have learned anything else alone. Something about the new stuff is helping me learn better and faster, so I guess either the harbingers gave me a boost, or somehow I boosted myself through the dangerous weird stuff kicking in my mind and spirit in the right ways. I have some gear now too, and that's not from them, but if they didn't send me on stuff I wouldn't have been given the gear, so it's kinda the same thing.

Also, I think going on these missions is making me something more than a pwca, I don't know what yet. Ever since I tricked the boosting ability to let me record what I see and hear, I know I can learn to do stuff other pwca can't do on their own.

Whatever I'm becoming, it kinda scares me. That 'with great power comes great responsibility' thing, I don't want the responsibility but the power should help me get important stuff done. Someday.

I know magic is real and some people think that's spiritual and they base religions on it, but I don't understand that. I know harbingers are real too, and maybe some are as powerful as gods in some places, but I don't think they are gods. If they were, I think a lot of things would be different. Also I think they'd be really bad at managing an afterlife.

I know ghosts are real too, and they can go somewhere else, and sometimes if they stay here they can be alive again. I don't know if any of them have ever come back from the other place, but even if they do that doesn't mean any single power is in control of everything. I'd kind of hate things if that was true anyway, because that means they're horrid. Nobody good would let the world be like this.

I bet most harbingers are awful too, and if that makes them Magical Police then I'll have to stop them from hurting people too. Even if I unintentionally hurt people to do it.

But everything I thought was true wasn't put in doubt. I think I always knew I was special, and I found out how before I knew they even existed. Sure, between them and Floyd I can do stuff I probably never could on my own, but that doesn't make me see anything differently either.

One of the contracts almost messed with me though. I don't think that place is what religious people want it to be, but it was really close to how they described it. I don't want to see that weird creature again, I expect it'll try to force me to believe what it believes. Like I already said, if there's a single mind in charge of reality they're awful.

Floyd told me about a guy from long ago who said that he doesn't know if any 'higher power' exists, so he won't worship them. If they're good, then living a good life and being good to others will get him a good place after death. But if they're bad, they don't deserve worship anyway.

So no, my worldview isn't changing any time soon.