Bobo's Questionnaire

I like this home other than the weirdo that lives here. I mean... It wasn't my first choice but I got kicked out from everywhere else. It's nice the person that lives here is so imperceptive.  I haven't really needed to worry much about getting caught. The cabinet is cramped but there is lots of snacks so I can't complain.

If you want to know what it is like here, just look at that tiny crack in your closet and imagine what the view would be looking out from there. That's pretty much what I’ve got. If I were to make a request, it would be nice if you vacuumed more and spared some leftovers whenever you order takeout.

Overall 4/10. I’ve squatted at better places.

After that weirdo who claims to own the home, I’m “squatting in” leaves, I hit the road and find whatever someone will pay to watch me eat. Roadkill usually pays well but it is getting tough to find since people are driving so carefully nowadays. However, recently I found this strange alley which is a goldmine for folk like me. There is always strange sludge, pulsating meat cubes, and dead rats of every colour of the rainbow. People are always willing to pay to watch me eat something I find there.

What do I spend my money on? Quite frankly, I don’t have really anything to spend money on since my rent’s free and as you can tell, my food is covered through work. But if I make enough money to treat myself to a bag of Cheetos, I’d say it was a good day.

Of course, I’ve got my dream of becoming a dragon and destroying all governments. My motivation? It’s simple. I’m just wanting to have a stable home to live in where I don’t need to be constantly worrying about someone finding me and calling the police. If I’m a dragon, who would have the gall to kick me out from their home? Your home would be my home. And what are you gonna do? Cry to the government that a dragon is “squatting” in your house? There won’t be any government to cry to after I’ve achieved my goal. I also wouldn’t need to eat gross stuff any more to pay for my Cheetos. Because if a dragon asks for Cheetos, you give them Cheetos.

What would I do to achieve this goal. This goal is my only chance at a normal life so I would do anything to achieve it. Die? I’d die like… 8 times if that’s what it takes. Kill? Yeah, It’s not like life’s got any value anyways. I’ve been feeling pretty numb and things have been foggy ever since I started eating random things from that alley.