Lincoln's Questionnaire

A tape recorder starts: Uh… yeah, I live in Gumi. It’s in South Korea. Don’t really know why here exactly, wasn’t like I picked it for the luxury of an owl. I’m an owl. I was born in the hills outside the city, lots of trees there, good mice, nice dark places. Then I got caught. By a falconer. His name’s Min-jae. He’s alright, I guess, he feeds me, doesn’t poke at me much. I’m not really supposed to be here, in a city, but I’m here now, so.

I live in this big wooden box, like a fancy cage but it smells like old leaves. He keeps it on his rooftop. Sometimes I sleep up high on the wires. Better view. Not a bad place if I say so myself. Nothing as scary or cute as me. The neighbor sucks though- tape recorder abruptly stops.

Tape recorder starts: Money’s… weird. I don’t really get it. I don’t have pockets. Or, like, pants. But since I started talking, Min-jae’s been bringing me around to weird people. Rich people. He calls it “consultations,” I think. I guess people pay him to ask me stuff. Like, “What’s that bird saying?” or “Does he know omens?” I don’t. I just guess most of the time. Owls are supposed to be wise, right? Joke’s on them. Not like I talk to anyone but Min-jae.

What do I spend it on? I don’t. Min-jae buys me better food now. Sometimes mice. Fresh, too, not frozen. If I could buy stuff, though? A radio. Music’s weird. I like weird. Tape recorder ends.

Tape recorder starts: Alright, so… I don’t really know how to explain it, but I want the forests back. The real ones. Not the little scraps they leave behind between buildings. I want the trees thick again. I want the sky dark at night, with the slightly glowy things up there, not glowing weird colors. I want the rivers clean so I can drink without getting sick. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that yet. I’m an owl. I don’t even have thumbs.

But yeah, I’d kill for it. Mice, people, whatever. If something’s in the way, I’ll rip at it. And honestly, death doesn't seem that bad, like a good nap. I don’t think it’s gonna get fixed unless someone does something crazy. Might as well be me. Tape recorder picks up rustling followed by eating, then cuts off.

Tape recorder starts: Easy. Getting caught. One minute I’m flying around, minding my own feathers, hunting mice like I always did. Then snap; net. Everything went weird after that. Min-jae didn’t hurt me, but being trapped, owned… it does something to you. And then I don’t even know how, it just happened. Words started coming out of my beak. Real ones. I don’t know if it’s magic or if I just hit my head too hard, but once I could talk, nothing felt normal anymore. He scooped my body up and we chatted a little. He wasn't going to eat me. Glad he didn't eat me.

It changed everything. Now I’m stuck knowing things I don’t know what to do with. I’m not just an owl anymore. I’m… something else. I think. Tape recorder ends

Tape recorder starts: Okay, so… first is Min-jae. He’s my falconer. Kind of grumpy but mostly nice. He caught me, but he takes care of me; feeds me, cleans my cage, sometimes talks to me like I’m a person and not a fur ball with feathers. I guess I’m closest to him because he’s the only one I really know. I don’t always understand what he’s saying, but he means well… I think.

Then there’s the neighbor, Mrs. Jang. She lives next door. Not exactly my favorite. One time she hit me with a broom, hard. Said I was “making too much noise.” I still don’t get why people get so mad at owls. I mean, it’s natural. But yeah, that wasn’t fun.

Lastly, there’s Mr. Cho. He’s a client Min-jae brings me to sometimes. Rich guy, loves weird bird stories and tries to get me to predict stuff. I’m not really good at it, but he keeps coming back anyway. Weird guy, but I guess that’s life. Tape recorder ends.