Urlarius Sortherius Ortanethon's Questionnaire

 Urlarius Sortherius Ortanethon, known colloquially as Old Man Lars, currently lives in a one bedroom apartment in the city of Chicago. While it is not his immense wizard tower that stands heads above the pathetic men that breath his air, his apartment contains all of the modern benefits that THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OLD MAN LARS requires for living. While it is not clear from outside, Lars will not be getting his deposit back on this apartment. The inside has been stripped bare and rebuilt to remind him of his great wizard tower, with cold stone and heavy wooden floorboards. Scattered around the room are various jars and vials of arcane materials used for casting and creating spells of various powers. He also has a very nice leather couch in the living room that sits across from his 48" TV that plays his Nintendo Switch and Playstation 5, as well as a really nice gaming computer with cool RGB fans. The fridge in his kitchen is also filled with soda and frozen pizzas that he bakes in his MAGICAL OVEN fueled by THE ARCANE FIRE OF ANOR that he re-summoned in this reality early on in his career. He also has an oven that he often prefers, as it has more accurate temperature control. But very Wizard Tower aesthetic.

One of the benefits of PHENOMENAL COSMIC WIZARDING POWER contained by THE GREAT WIZARD URLARIUS SORTHERIUS ORTANETHON, also known as OLD MAN LARS, is that you can pretty easily con idiots by throwing a few materials that create hallucinogenic smoke into a cauldron and convince them you're allowing them to speak to their ancestors or future children or some other malarkey. It started off as a great way to fund the purchase of obscure wizard material components, but people got really attached to the bit, and were willing to pay way, way too much money for the malarkey from a wizard that does, in fact, have spells that can contact the dead. 

For THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD ULARIUS SORTHERIUS ORTANETHON, ALSO KNOWN AS OLD MAN LARS, the comforts of modern living are nice, but he would like to get back to his all powerful tower that is the source of his most arcane and world bending magics. I mean, having frozen pizzas that can be delivered to his door is really nice, but he would like to get back to his tower to bake those pizzas. It is tough using THE ARCANE FLAMES OF ANOR to cook your food and an oven does create the perfect amount of heat to cook a pizza, but being back in the tower would be nice. Returning to the LIVING LIBRARY OF GALTHAXIS would definitely be beneficial for his continued study of wizardry, but wouldn't it be swell being able to take some breaks every once in a while to play Final Fantasy VII Rebirth on a 90" 4k OLED TV? Electricity would be convinient too.... Maybe we can combine the two, and bring these things back to the ALL KNOWING WIZARD TOWER OF THE WIZARD ULARIUS SORTHERIUS ORTANETHON... 

Prior to the opening of a rift in the LIVING LIBRARY OF GALTHAXIS while reading from the infinite arcane tomes containing all knowledge of the INFINITE CONSORTIUM OF ARCHMAGES, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD ULARIUS SORTHERIUS ORTANETHON, ALSO KNOWN AS OLD MAN LARS, was quietly studying the whims of magic, working on a new spell that would be capable of summoning and binding great demons into his service in order to procure small mushrooms that are only available from the 72nd layer of THE INFINITE ABYSS OF ETERNAL MADNESS, Lars was ripped from his library in a rush of magic and power and thrust into the middle of a grocery store where a mother was purchasing a candy bar for her daughter. The candy bar was in fact delicious, though the child crying and mother panicking did sour the experience a bit. From there, he was picked up by some local groups to help him integrate into modern society. (The large number of gold bullion that he had been holding onto certainly helped...)