Silent Coach Ask Not For Whom La Cucaracha Honks

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An extraordinary spectral RV.
Used by BETH☠️METAL, Created by lesbianspacepirate.
On Legendary Artifact Beth's Tour Bus.

Charred and triumphant, BETH☠️METAL's exploded tour bus returns to the land of the living once more. Still, neither of them seem to have returned unaltered.

Noli respicere post tergum in infernum.


This Artifact can be used as a spectral RV. It is roughly the same size as a spectral RV and just as difficult to conceal.

This spectral RV has soundproofing. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • Steady As She Goes: The motion of your vehicle never causes your passengers dice penalties, and you do not suffer dice penalties from the unsteadiness of any vehicle you are riding in.


Community Legendary Artifact Gifts

This Artifact can be used as a rifle. It is roughly the same size as a rifle and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Firearms, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +5 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Infinite Ammo: This weapon never runs out of its standard ammunition.
  • Keyhole: Any bullet that kills your target tumbles through their body and may strike a target in a 90 degree angle behind them. Any damage beyond that needed for the kill is applied to the secondary target.

  • Excess keyhole damage does not reapply the weapon's damage bonus and is affected by Armor as normal. The secondary target may React to the tumbled bullet if they have a Gift which lets them do so.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.
  • Rifles are +1 Difficulty to use in melee range. Sniper Rifles are +3 Difficulty to use without a tripod or in melee range. Setting up a tripod takes an Action.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

Any Injury you receive heals quickly, reducing its Severity by one level each day, starting once it becomes stabilized. Battle Scars caused by your Injuries will remain. Any Injuries you receive stabilize automatically and do not deteriorate further.

Exert your Mind and spend at least two Actions performing the following ritual: With the connection of the Fae Contract, alongside his knowledge of magicks begins to recite words as he summons up a weakened copy of the other side of the fae contractor to activate. You must maintain Concentration while activating this Effect, and it fails if you are interrupted.

Summon a single ________ at your location. They will last for an hour, or until they are destroyed. They are controlled by the GM but will follow any commands you give. You may have at most 1 minion active at a time.

Minions have 4 Body and can make melee range attacks with 5 dice to attack and +1 Damage. Your minions can move 20 feet per Round as Free Movement, and double that when performing an all-out Sprint. They cannot dodge or Defend. They have dog-level intelligence, but are capable of communicating information back to you. Any Perception checks they make are rolled with 8 dice.

Your minions can fly at their normal movement speed.

One blast from a cathode gun is enough to reduce even the most brilliant mind to a state of catatonic vegetation in seconds. This brain-killing weapon is an example of the City Mind's cruel and efficient designs, meant to leave behind gibbering, drooling survivors to be collected by the enemy. These survivors would continue to consume resources, lower morale, and force other personnel to care for them - the City Mind knew its enemy was a compassionate one. The cathode gun is especially effective against creatures with advanced minds, such as spell-casters. Ironically, it is just as effective against machine brains.

Expend a point of Battery and spend an Action. Select a Sapient or Creature target within 20 feet. Roll Intellect + Technology Difficulty 6. Affected targets may resist by rolling Mind at Difficulty 7. If they are incapacitated or unconscious, they fail automatically.

If the Contested Outcome is positive, the target loses that much Source. Once their Source is depleted, excess Outcome is applied as Mind Damage. If you deal at least 3 Mind damage, the target gains a Trauma of the GM's choice.

This Trauma may be removed by Effects or mundane therapy, as normal. Affected targets are aware that they are being attacked and can generally tell who did it.

  • Mundane animals have a Mind score of 1 or 2 at the GM’s discretion.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

The user radiates Causal Diction to the point where it begins to interact with the world around them. On paper, this might seem like a barrier that blocks incoming attacks against the user. However, it would be more accurate to state that objects drawing close to this radiated energy become filled with the desire to miss the intended target and deviate from their chosen course. If more than will the user is exerting is put into an attack, not all of its force will be diverted. It is imperative to understand that this is not a shield. It is merely an interaction between fundamental forces of the universe.

Spend an Action or Reaction. Select a Animate target within 20 feet. Roll Charisma + Influence at Difficulty 6.

If you succeed, you create a barrier around your target, which absorbs the next Outcome +4 Damage. The Damage reduction from the barrier is applied before Armor. This Artifact may have up to 3 barriers active at a time.

You must maintain Concentration while using this Effect. The barrier will fall if you are interrupted, or if it absorbs the full amount of Damage. When a barrier falls, you cannot use this Effect again for a minimum of 2 Rounds.

This Gift cannot have more than 3 Drawbacks, and its Gift Cost is capped at 1.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their body and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Battle Scar: Weak Stomach. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Battle Scar heals over the course of the next day.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Nightmares. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • Effects which circumvent Armor completely also circumvent your barrier.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Stock Legendary Artifact Gifts

Increase your sacrificial Injury's Severity by 1 and spend one minute. Select a Dead target within arm's reach with at least half its skeletal structure remaining. You must make a Trauma roll when you use this Effect. Its Difficulty cannot be reduced by any means. If you fail or Botch, you receive one Mind Damage and a new Trauma.

Your target rises as an Animate being. The raised creature is totally mindless, with no memory of its past life or hint of its old personality. They cannot communicate. They will follow any command you speak.

The creature lasts for eight hours or until it dies again. It is revived at full health. Any Injuries it had in life are not accounted for when determining its penalties or progression towards re-death, though they may affect its ability to perform certain actions at GM's discretion.

Raised creatures have their Abilities set to the same that they were in life. Their Charisma and Intellect are set to 1, but their Dexterity, Brawn and Perception are the same as they had in life. A raised creature cannot use any Effects.

Destroying one of your zombies requires a called shot to the head or heart. All other Injuries zombies suffer result in Battle Scars only, limiting their mobility and effectiveness in other ways.

Your revived targets deal 2 Weapon Damage with their unarmed attacks.

If you do not have a sacrificial Injury when you activate this Effect, take a new Severity-1 Injury.

  • The called shot requires 4 Outcome dealing 4+ Damage or 6 Outcome dealing 2+ Damage.
  • The sacrificial Injury received from activating this Effect cannot be prevented by any means or healed before 1 day has passed. It is shared with all Effects that use sacrifice. This Injury does not requires Stabilization or cause Battle Scars when it becomes Severe.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

This Artifact holds 5 times what it normally could inside of it. Objects stored inside are weightless.

Living things can be stored in this Artifact. They will have access to anything else inside and may attempt to break free, damaging or destroying the Artifact in the process.

If this Artifact is destroyed, things inside may get out, and it will cease to function until it is repaired.

When scanned or investigated without opening, the contents of this container appear normal and unremarkable.

If anyone other than you opens the container, it appears empty. Others can still destroy it to get at the contents.

  • A container of holding cannot be placed inside another created by the same Gift.
  • There is no cost to use this container.

This Artifact can be used as a blimp. It is roughly the same size as a blimp but can be collapsed into a phone-sized canvas cube and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This blimp has full science laboratory, bullet-proof envelope, and ample parachutes. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Crew of One: You alone may stand in for an entire crew if the vehicle would normally be piloted by more than one.
  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • No Muffler: Any stealth rolls made to hide your vehicle automatically fail, and any rolls made to notice your vehicle automatically succeed.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

This Artifact can change its appearance. When not transformed, it is roughly the same size as a passport and just as difficult to conceal.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action to activate. This Artifact changes its appearance into an Object within the category of forms of identification. This lasts until you decide to end the Effect, which may be done as a Free Action.

The new object's appearance can mimic specific items (such as a particular painting, a certain person’s ID, etc), but must be of a similar size and weight to this Artifact.

The new appearance is illusory; it will hold up to scrutiny, but its composition is not altered and it gains no new functionality. Any attempt to use it for a function which it cannot perform (for instance, making bread look like a knife and then trying to stab someone) will cause the illusion to fail or allow a Perception check to see through the illusion, at the GM's discretion.

This Effect activates whenever you are submerged in salt water. It does not require an Action or Exertion. Your target should be intuitively based on the triggering event.

You transform into small for two hours or until you choose to end the Effect. See the Extended System text for stats.

While transformed, you cannot use any equipment (including Artifacts and Consumables), and you cannot use your Active, Targeted, or Trap Powers. However, you can use your Passive Powers. Any equipment you are wearing transforms with you.

Injuries and Wound Level are carried over between forms. However, transforming can never kill you; you merely remain Incapacitated until your Injuries are sufficiently healed.

  • When triggered, the Effect activation resolves immediately after the triggering Action. It is not Reaction speed.
  • Creature Stats
    • Medium (large house cat up to human) Body 3. Brawn 1. Dexterity 3. Fall damage reduced by 1.
    All creatures get +3 dice to any non-combat Action that they are naturally adapted for. All creatures Medium and larger may attack by rolling Body, dealing +0 Damage (+1 for “predators”). Gms and Playgroup leaders can apply other bonuses and effects to specific animals.
  • Animals that are quicker than humans (like dogs) have 50 feet of Free Movement. Animals that are very slow (like turtles) have 0 feet of Free Movement.
  • You cannot transform if there is not enough room to do so.
  • The form you take must have the same stats and abilities as a single, extant animal of the relevant size.