Silent Coach Ask Not For Whom La Cucaracha Honks

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An extraordinary spectral RV.
Used by BETH☠️METAL, Created by lesbianspacepirate.
On Legendary Artifact Beth's Tour Bus.

Charred and triumphant, BETH☠️METAL's exploded tour bus returns to the land of the living once more. Still, neither of them seem to have returned unaltered.

Noli respicere post tergum in infernum.


This Artifact can be used as a spectral RV. It is roughly the same size as a spectral RV and just as difficult to conceal.

This spectral RV has soundproofing. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • Steady As She Goes: The motion of your vehicle never causes your passengers dice penalties, and you do not suffer dice penalties from the unsteadiness of any vehicle you are riding in.


Community Extraordinary Vehicle Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as you are piloting any vehicle.

You receive +2 dice to any rolls to pilot a vehicle.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Daredevil: Damage you and your passengers take from vehicle collisions is halved (rounded up) and the result is limited to a maximum of 5.

armor 3 and body 6 on the Submarine itself, with those inside not available for targeting (they're inside a metal tube, what do you expect lol?)

This Artifact can be used as a Small submarine. It is roughly the same size as a Small submarine but can be collapsed into submarine press lighter and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This Small submarine has Active and passive sonar, Advanced automatic medical systems, and plenty of redundant systems. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Amphibious: Your vehicle may move on land as well as under water at its normal speed. If your vehicle includes an enclosed space, it will function as an airtight, pressurized cockpit.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

This Artifact can be used as a The Chipper. It is roughly the same size as a The Chipper but can be collapsed into A Devils Skull Cane. and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This The Chipper has This vehicle looks like a cross between a bulldozer, a tank, a giant wood chipper, all under the shape of a giant metal bull on tank tracks. It’s maw is wide, and can out the bases of trees with ease. Two horns protrude from the sides of its “head”, twisted into drills, that can cut through earth like butter. It’s four times the length and width of a bulldozer, and three times the height. This trophy counts as an animate machine when targeted. Any creature driving it can use it to attack using a. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Flying Car: Your vehicle may also fly at its normal speed. Taking off takes a full Action.
  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • No Muffler: Any stealth rolls made to hide your vehicle automatically fail, and any rolls made to notice your vehicle automatically succeed.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded.

The gaps that the tunnel to the Dead Line can be things such as the mortar between bricks, the ridges between bark, or vacant alleyways. The Dead Line runs through all things.

This Artifact can be used as a subway train. It is roughly the same size as a subway train but can be collapsed into a train pamphlet and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This subway train has tracks which lay themselves down in front of itself (never taking more than a 12 degree curve) and dissapear shortly after, standard subway cars, reinforced doors, an engine room with a pilot's seat, a car with a large table and a locker wall, a cowcatcher on the front, the classic fixings of a subway car including an intercom system, standard electrical outlets, and a nice hat hook for a conductor's cap. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Afterburner: Your vehicle has a 25% faster top speed and you may Exert your Mind to accelerate to its top speed in a single Round.
  • Amphibious: Your vehicle may move on land as well as under water at its normal speed. If your vehicle includes an enclosed space, it will function as an airtight, pressurized cockpit.
  • Daredevil: Damage you and your passengers take from vehicle collisions is reduced by 2, and any Injuries suffered are limited to a maximum of Severity 4.
  • No Muffler: Any stealth rolls made to hide your vehicle automatically fail, and any rolls made to notice your vehicle automatically succeed.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Codependence. If the pamphlet is removed from your posession or destroyed beyond repair, you must roll self-control to take any action whatsoever as you become sluggish and unresponsive. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

This Artifact can be used as a Mecha. It is roughly the same size as a Mecha but can be collapsed into key and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This Mecha has weapons. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Jump: If going off a ramp, your jumps bring you twice as far and twice as high. If not, you may Exert your Mind to jump a minimum of 5 feet vertical and 15 feet horizontal.
  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • Flying Solo: Your vehicle cannot have any passengers.
  • No Muffler: Any stealth rolls made to hide your vehicle automatically fail, and any rolls made to notice your vehicle automatically succeed.

This item is a living thing. When targeted, it counts as a Living Creature in addition to its other target types. If destroyed or abandoned for more than two days, it dies and becomes unusable.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

Stock Extraordinary Vehicle Gifts

This Artifact can be used as a blimp. It is roughly the same size as a blimp but can be collapsed into a phone-sized canvas cube and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This blimp has full science laboratory, bullet-proof envelope, and ample parachutes. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Crew of One: You alone may stand in for an entire crew if the vehicle would normally be piloted by more than one.
  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • No Muffler: Any stealth rolls made to hide your vehicle automatically fail, and any rolls made to notice your vehicle automatically succeed.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.