Silent Coach Ask Not For Whom La Cucaracha Honks

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An extraordinary spectral RV.
Used by BETH☠️METAL, Created by lesbianspacepirate.
On Legendary Artifact Beth's Tour Bus.

Charred and triumphant, BETH☠️METAL's exploded tour bus returns to the land of the living once more. Still, neither of them seem to have returned unaltered.

Noli respicere post tergum in infernum.


This Artifact can be used as a spectral RV. It is roughly the same size as a spectral RV and just as difficult to conceal.

This spectral RV has soundproofing. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • Steady As She Goes: The motion of your vehicle never causes your passengers dice penalties, and you do not suffer dice penalties from the unsteadiness of any vehicle you are riding in.


Community Legendary Artifact Gifts

Upon closer inspection, it looks to be made of hundreds, no, thousands of scale-like ceramic chunks, interlinked with kinetic-resistant farbrics underneath. As one is struck, it tips sideways, redistributing the energy to the nearby smaller scales, spreading the impact over a much larger area and emitting a muffled ringing sound. While great at stopping strikes that arrive at a slowed pace, constant kinetic absorption will cause the ceramic to heat up, softening or even cracking it. The material will take time to cool and heal itself, mending tiny cracks that may form from constant grazing hits.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You have 6 Armor, which reduces incoming Damage. Armor from multiple sources does not stack. Called Shots may circumvent your Armor, depending on its coverage.

When you take Damage from a source which is within 5 feet, deal back as much Damage as your Armor prevented.

This Artifact can be used as a bow. It is roughly the same size as a bow and just as difficult to conceal.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +6 Weapon Damage. Attacks do not require a successful called shot to do damage.

This item is a living thing. When targeted, it counts as a Living Creature in addition to its other target types. If destroyed or abandoned for more than two days, it dies and becomes unusable.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Infinite Ammo: This weapon never runs out of its standard ammunition.
  • Shredder: If you successfully hit your target, the value of any Armor they are wearing is reduced by 2. For material armor, this penalty lasts until it is repaired. For intrinsic armor, it lasts until the end of Combat and any relevant wound is healed.
  • Ultra-Shot: Spend one Action preparing an attack. This does not count as Aiming. Next Round you may make an attack as though the range of this weapon was 1200 feet

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

Exert your Mind and spend at least one Action. Select a number of Sapient targets equal to your Charisma within 20 feet. Your target may be actively engaged in Combat. Communicate a command to your targets. Roll Charisma + Melee at Difficulty 6. The targets may resist by rolling Mind at Difficulty 7.

If the contested Outcome is positive, your targets will be compelled to follow your command to their best understanding of the letter and spirit of the command until they have completed it or for your Contested Outcome in minutes. You cannot issue another suggestion to the target until 10 minutes after they have completed the first command or 10 minutes after a failure.

The target is unaware that they are under supernatural influence and feel they are acting of their own free will. If you fail, they realize that you were attempting to influence them supernaturally with your command.

Your command can be an order to take an immediate Action. You cannot order a target to "do nothing," and they are free to take other Actions as they fulfill your request. Your command cannot be obviously self-destructive. Commands may force a target to violate one of their Limits, and they will need to make a Trauma roll once the suggestion wears off.

You must have some means of communicating this command to your targets, but no one other than you and them will understand or perceive it.

This Effect ends if you are stunned, fall asleep, go unconscious, are incapacitated, die, or if your total Stress ever exceeds 5.

  • You cannot order your target to endanger themselves, but you may order them to flee, attack a certain target, take a defensive or offensive stance, or similar.
  • When targeting multiple individuals simultaneously, they must all be issued the same command.
  • The target must be able to understand you and must receive your communication for the suggestion to work.
  • Allowed Commands
    • Direct Order: The target must take an immediate action (e.g. “Sit down,” "run away," or "tell me your password.")
  • In the case of a failed activation, GMs should consider how bystanders would realistically react to a potentially-outlandish accusation of mind-reading.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

This Artifact can be used as a sword / axe. It is roughly the same size as a sword / axe but can be collapsed into a slot on the side of Saoirse and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Melee, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +2 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Bane: Injuries dealt to creatures with sensitive or enhanced hearing are increased by 2 Severity levels.
  • Shredder: If you successfully hit your target, the value of any Armor they are wearing is reduced by 2. For material armor, this penalty lasts until it is repaired. For intrinsic armor, it lasts until the end of Combat and any relevant wound is healed.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

Spend 2 Actions. Select a Sapient target or a Creature within arm's reach. At the end of your investigation, roll Charisma + Influence at Difficulty 6.

You learn all the following information about your target:

  • You learn a hidden desire of the target. Roll Outcome determines the relevancy / secret-ness of the desire.
  • You learn the target’s Traumas, Limits, and whether or not their thoughts, emotions, or memories are being influenced by any Alien forces.

The quality and specificity of information gained depends on your Outcome.

This Gift cannot have more than 3 Drawbacks, and its Gift Cost is capped at 1.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Fear of God. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

You cannot investigate the same target more than once per day.

  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Stock Legendary Artifact Gifts

Spend an Action.

You may lock, unlock, and/or open any number of doors, containers, knots, or locks within arm's reach of you. Cannot be used on Alien technology.

If you successfully operate a lock, you may choose to destroy it, rendering it inoperable.

  • Operating some locking mechanisms through this Effect may have a secondary effect, such as a turn-key ignition on an older or cheaper car causing it to start or stop. Note that the locking mechanism itself must satisfy the standard targeting requirements (including line of sight), not just the vehicle.
  • Any mechanism that requires a key, keycard, key fob, or combination may be considered locked, at the GM's discretion. This Effect may be used on doors and containers secured with control panels or other electronic locks, but not computer security systems at large.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Increase your sacrificial Injury's Severity by 1 and spend one minute. Select a Dead target within arm's reach with at least half its skeletal structure remaining. You must make a Trauma roll when you use this Effect. Its Difficulty cannot be reduced by any means. If you fail or Botch, you receive one Mind Damage and a new Trauma.

Your target rises as an Animate being. The raised creature is totally mindless, with no memory of its past life or hint of its old personality. They cannot communicate. They will follow any command you speak.

The creature lasts for eight hours or until it dies again. It is revived at full health. Any Injuries it had in life are not accounted for when determining its penalties or progression towards re-death, though they may affect its ability to perform certain actions at GM's discretion.

Raised creatures have their Abilities set to the same that they were in life. Their Charisma and Intellect are set to 1, but their Dexterity, Brawn and Perception are the same as they had in life. A raised creature cannot use any Effects.

Destroying one of your zombies requires a called shot to the head or heart. All other Injuries zombies suffer result in Battle Scars only, limiting their mobility and effectiveness in other ways.

Your revived targets deal 2 Weapon Damage with their unarmed attacks.

If you do not have a sacrificial Injury when you activate this Effect, take a new Severity-1 Injury.

  • The called shot requires 4 Outcome dealing 4+ Damage or 6 Outcome dealing 2+ Damage.
  • The sacrificial Injury received from activating this Effect cannot be prevented by any means or healed before 1 day has passed. It is shared with all Effects that use sacrifice. This Injury does not requires Stabilization or cause Battle Scars when it becomes Severe.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

This Artifact can be used as a bow. It is roughly at least twice as large as a bow and cannot be concealed on your person or disassembled for storage.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +3 Weapon Damage. Attacks do not require a successful called shot to do damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Infinite Ammo: This weapon never runs out of its standard ammunition.
  • Leave No Trace: Your projectiles crumble or vanish after impact, leaving no meaningful trace of your assault beyond the wounds they leave. If your attack would kill or incapacitate your target, they make no sound, even incidentally, for the next Round.

  • This Artifact cannot be disguised or morphed with other Effects like Shape-Changing object.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact produces ephemeral projectiles that can be used as a javelin.

Attack by rolling Brawn + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +3 Weapon Damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Chain Lightning: You may Exert your Mind to perform a chain lightning attack. If your attack succeeds, All targets within 5 feet of your primary target take full Damage. The Damage can “jump” up to 5 times. Each target can be hit only once.
  • Magic Quiver: Instead of throwing this Artifact, it is an object that produces an endless supply of temporary throwable objects. For example, bracers that allow you to throw ethereal javelins, or a sack of throwing rocks that doesn’t shrink when you withdraw one.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.
  • Created projectiles last only until they strike their target and cannot be shared or stockpiled.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

This Artifact holds 5 times what it normally could inside of it. Objects stored inside are weightless.

Living things can be stored in this Artifact. They will have access to anything else inside and may attempt to break free, damaging or destroying the Artifact in the process.

If this Artifact is destroyed, things inside may get out, and it will cease to function until it is repaired.

When scanned or investigated without opening, the contents of this container appear normal and unremarkable.

If anyone other than you opens the container, it appears empty. Others can still destroy it to get at the contents.

  • A container of holding cannot be placed inside another created by the same Gift.
  • There is no cost to use this container.