Schrodinger's Chef Bread out of rocks? Grapes out of gloves? I gotchu

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This Artifact grants you the power to enhance your tools beyond mundane limits.
Used by Delphyrion Arcanis, Created by Cryst0lline.
( You must use this Artifact obviously when activating this Effect.)

The gift appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).

Open the backpack after five minutes to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 5 minutes. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
Black goo will always seep out from the bottom of the backpack when in use.

On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.

On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 5 minutes exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits. That's where Schrodinger comes in.

On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray.
(Also pray that you are not Dephyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)

Expend a point of Battery and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you The backpack appears to create the intended food item. In fact, it appears and smells more delightful than it should, to the point that you are urged to eat it right away no matter what. You will develop Vertigo upon eating the food as it turns out to be incredibly poisonous.. Cannot be used to improve Armor.

Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.

Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: You get uncontrollably angry at the sight or mention of any food that did not come out of the backpack. It feels as if you are running a state-of-the-art restaurant, yet people line up for the nearby McDonald's instead. You must roll Self-Control to contain the urge to cannibalize yourself or the person who brought up the food.. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.

  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used. The same is true for extra dice.
  • Extra dice from this Effect do not apply to Gift activation rolls.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

You are viewing an old version of this Gift.
To view the most recent version Click Here

Revision purchased with:
Improvement from running The Vermilion Manor spent on adjusting power: Schrodinger's Chef
Revision purchased with:
Gift from playing in Crois deora spent on new power: Schrodinger's Chef
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Community Artifact Crafting Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You have 4, which reduces incoming damage from all sources of physical attack except attacks legal to make in the situation under US law. Armor from multiple sources does not stack. Called Shots may circumvent your Armor, depending on its coverage.

Your Armor’s rating is increased by 2. If you do something that Damages, restricts, or otherwise directly, negatively affects another being, your Armor’s rating is decreased by 3 for one minute. This penalty does not stack with itself.

  • This Effect’s Armor rating cannot be increased by any other Effects.

Expend a point of Battery and spend an Action to activate. Select a Living target within 45 feet. This Effect cannot be used unless Must have at least 4 or 5 points in Intellect.. Roll Intellect + Firearms Difficulty 6. The target may contest by rolling to Dodge or Defend as a Reaction, Difficulty 6.

If the contested Outcome is positive, the target takes that much damage plus 1. The target's material Armor is completely ignored.

  • "Material Armor" includes armor from equipment but not Armor from Mythic Brawn, barrier, or mystical armor.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action.

Summon a single Non-Sapient, Animate Obsidian Skeleton at your location. They last until they are destroyed They are controlled by the GM but will follow any commands you give. This Artifact may have at most one minion active at a time.

  • Initiative: Minions act directly after you in Combat starting the Round after they are summoned.
  • Combat: Minions roll 5 dice to dodge, Grapple, or make unarmed Attacks. Their Attacks have 50 feet of range and deal +3 Damage.
  • Body/Mind: Minions have 5 Body. They automatically fail all Mind resistance rolls.
  • Armor: Minions have 4 Armor.
  • Movement: Minions can move 25 feet per Round as Free Movement and double that when performing an all-out Sprint.
  • Intelligence: Minions have dog-level intelligence and cannot communicate back to you. They cannot actively use Equipment.
  • Actions: Any Perception checks they make are rolled with 4 dice. They can lift and haul as though they have 4 Brawn.
  • Unusual: Minions are obviously Alien to any observer.

  • Your minions may count as additional targeting types based on their flavor. For example: Living, Computer, Creature, etc.

The ritual for this is a tricky one. Shape changing objects are a constant in the public's mind, but by it's nature, they aren't don't have many common symbols.

This took some effort from Vel, but after several trials Vel found a ritual involving
1 Destroying several different pieced of clothing simultaneously
2 reading then burning A variety of stories of Loki, Zeus, and other gods effortly changing shape
3 A chant about stories and specifications of shape changing objects in popular media
4 Carving the an image of a chameleon into the artifact being enchanted.

Which worked as intended.

This Artifact can change its appearance. When not transformed, it is roughly the same size as a Chestplate and just as difficult to conceal.

Spend a Quick Action to activate. This Artifact changes its appearance into an Object within the category of Apparel. This lasts until you decide to end the Effect, which may be done as a Free Action.

The new object's appearance can mimic specific items (such as a particular painting, a certain person’s ID, etc), but must be of a similar size and weight to this Artifact.

The new appearance is illusory; it will hold up to scrutiny, but its composition is not altered and it gains no new functionality. Any attempt to use it for a function which it cannot perform (for instance, making bread look like a knife and then trying to stab someone) will cause the illusion to fail or allow a Perception check to see through the illusion, at the GM's discretion.

When used as identification and scanned, the scanner will act appropriately and bring up appropriate generic information. Further searches for the identity in the computer will turn up no results. This will not open security doors on its own.

  • Changing the Artifact’s appearance does not allow you to conceal its Alien nature while any of its other Effects are in use.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action to activate. Select a Living target within arm’s reach. Roll Brawn + Alertness at Difficulty 6. Your target may resist by rolling Body at Difficulty 7.

If you succeed, the target is afflicted with a Condition that causes one of the following symptoms:

  • Wasting Away: The target’s body is being eaten away by the affliction. Immediately on being afflicted, and again for every hour that passes, they will obtain a new Major or Minor Battle Scar.
Symptoms begin to appear immediately, and will remain and continue to worsen until the affliction is cured. The affliction is not contagious and will not spread to others.

The affliction is not treatable by modern medicine. It may be diagnosed by rolling Brawn + Alertness at Difficulty 6, and can be cured by ________.

This Effect ends if you are stunned, fall asleep, go unconscious, are incapacitated, die, or if your total Penalty ever exceeds 5.

  • Successfully diagnosing an affliction also includes information about the treatment method.
  • The chosen method of treatment must be something that you could obtain in a small town given an afternoon.
  • Curing an affliction removes the Condition, but does not automatically heal any Injuries, Battle Scars, or Traumas which may have been caused by that condition.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.

Stock Artifact Crafting Gifts

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +0 dice to any Mind resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Naturally Resistant: Any time you make a Mind resistance roll, the individual who you are resisting must Exert their Mind, or your resistance succeeds automatically.
  • Clash Of Wills: If you fail to fully resist an Effect, your Outcome is considered to be 0.

  • These bonuses apply only to Mind rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to Trauma rolls or self-control rolls.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact.

You get +2 dice to any Body resistance rolls you make. You also gain the following effects:

  • Survivor: You are immune to all non-Alien diseases.
  • All Brawn No Brain: You suffer a -2 dice penalty on Mind resistance rolls.

  • These bonuses apply only to Body rolls made to resist Effects and other supernatural phenomena. They do not apply to other contexts such as attacks made while under the Creature Transformation Effect.