Silent Coach Ask Not For Whom La Cucaracha Honks

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An extraordinary spectral RV.
Used by BETH☠️METAL, Created by lesbianspacepirate.
On Legendary Artifact Beth's Tour Bus.

Charred and triumphant, BETH☠️METAL's exploded tour bus returns to the land of the living once more. Still, neither of them seem to have returned unaltered.

Noli respicere post tergum in infernum.


This Artifact can be used as a spectral RV. It is roughly the same size as a spectral RV and just as difficult to conceal.

This spectral RV has soundproofing. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • Steady As She Goes: The motion of your vehicle never causes your passengers dice penalties, and you do not suffer dice penalties from the unsteadiness of any vehicle you are riding in.


Community Legendary Artifact Gifts

Exert your Mind and spend a minute to activate. Investigate an area with a radius of up to 500 feet At the end of your investigation, roll Intellect + Occult at Difficulty 6.

You learn the following information about the area:

  • You learn where exactly creatures and people live within the area, and what sorts of creatures they are.
  • You learn where a vault is located.
The quality and specificity of information gained depends on your Outcome.

  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.

Exert your Mind and spend at least one Action. Select a number of Sapient targets equal to your Charisma within 100 feet. Your target may be actively engaged in Combat. Communicate a command to your targets. Roll Charisma + Performance at Difficulty 6. The targets may resist by rolling Mind at Difficulty 7.

If the contested Outcome is positive, your targets will be compelled to follow your command to their best understanding of the letter and spirit of the command until they have completed it or for your Outcome in minutes. You cannot issue another suggestion to the target until 10 minutes after they have completed the first command or 10 minutes after a failure.

The target is unaware that they are under supernatural influence and feel they are acting of their own free will. If you fail, they realize that you were attempting to influence them supernaturally with your command.

Your command can be an order to take an immediate Action. You cannot order a target to "do nothing," and they are free to take other Actions as they fulfill your request. Your command cannot be obviously self-destructive. The Effect ends if following your command would cause a target to cross one of their Limits in a way that would necessitate a Trauma roll.

You may activate this Effect as a Reaction to contest any Action a valid target is taking, reducing their Outcome by your own. Your command has no impact beyond disrupting their Action.

If the Contested Outcome of your activation roll is 4 or higher, the activation cost of this Effect is refunded.

This Effect ends if you are stunned, fall asleep, go unconscious, are incapacitated, die, or if your total Stress ever exceeds 5.

You are equally bound to follow any command you issue.

You must maintain Concentration while your command is being carried out. If you break Concentration, any active suggestions you have issued will end.

  • You cannot order your target to endanger themselves, but you may order them to flee, attack a certain target, take a defensive or offensive stance, or similar.
  • When targeting multiple individuals simultaneously, they must all be issued the same command.
  • The target must be able to understand you and must receive your communication for the suggestion to work.
  • Allowed Commands
    • Direct Order: The target must take an immediate action (e.g. “Sit down,” "run away," or "tell me your password.")
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action. You must use up A can of nitrous in order to activate this Effect.

You may move easily and without a roll in any of the following situations. Lasts 2 hours.

  • Pathfinder: You are adept at making your way through crowds, underbrush, and other dense, congested environments. While doing so, you move at full speed.
  • Spider Climber: You are able to climb on and cling to any surface without regard for the ordinary rules of gravity. You climb at your normal movespeed.
  • Surface Skimmer: You are able to move across the top of any bodies of water, ice, or other surfaces where others might sink with no penalty to your movement speed.

As long as this Effect is active and you are traversing a terrain it covers, your movement speed is doubled.

  • This Effect not provide any inherent protection from dangerous surfaces such as acid, lava, etc, so be careful!

Project Note: We are ready for the final test! We acquired rifles to test the event horizon of the Tillinghast Field! Not a moment to soon, as Sara has become all but useless now, a gibbering wreck. No matter - once they see the T-Field eat a hail of bullets fired at a helpless girl, they will be unable to doubt our brilliance!

Expend a point of Battery and spend an Action or Reaction to activate. Make a Trauma roll when you activate this Effect. Roll Intellect + Science at Difficulty 6.

If you succeed, you create a barrier around yourself, which absorbs the next Outcome + 4 Damage. Half the damage absorbed is reflected back at the attacker, which they can Defend against as normal. The Damage reduction from the barrier is applied before Armor. You may only have 1 active barrier at a time.

You must maintain Concentration while using this Effect. The barrier will fall if you are interrupted, or if it absorbs the full amount of Damage. When a barrier falls, you cannot use this Effect again for a minimum of 2 Rounds.

Any target that is or was under the protection of your Barrier in a given Round cannot take an Injury greater than Severity 6 that Round.

Anyone who witnesses you during this Effect's activation or for its duration will almost certainly be disturbed to see a field of corsucating energy engulf the wielder, in which alien creatures swim through alternate paralell dimensions.

  • If you use this Effect as a Reaction to dodge, you still need to make a roll to dodge. The Effect will occur regardless of the Outcome of this roll, but if you fail you will be hit by the relevant attack prior to the Effect occurring.
  • When narrating disturbing content, be cognizant of your group's tone and accommodating to those who would like to "fast forward" through the description.

This Artifact cannot be broken. If this Artifact is lost and in no one else’s possession, it finds its way back to its true owner during the next Downtime.

By default, the creator of this Artifact is its true owner. The true owner may formally bequeath this Artifact onto another person within arm’s reach, after which they are its true owner. If the true owner dies or is destroyed, their ownership ends. If this Artifact has no true owner, anyone may spend one day attuning to it to become its true owner.

If this Artifact is in no one else’s possession, its true owner may Exert their Mind and spend two Actions to bring it to themselves.

  • "Cannot be broken" means that damage cannot render the Artifact's Effects unusable, nor can it cease to be used for its primary mundane purpose, if it has one.

Stock Legendary Artifact Gifts

Increase your sacrificial Injury's Severity by 1 and spend one minute. Select a Dead target within arm's reach with at least half its skeletal structure remaining. You must make a Trauma roll when you use this Effect. Its Difficulty cannot be reduced by any means. If you fail or Botch, you receive one Mind Damage and a new Trauma.

Your target rises as an Animate being. The raised creature is totally mindless, with no memory of its past life or hint of its old personality. They cannot communicate. They will follow any command you speak.

The creature lasts for eight hours or until it dies again. It is revived at full health. Any Injuries it had in life are not accounted for when determining its penalties or progression towards re-death, though they may affect its ability to perform certain actions at GM's discretion.

Raised creatures have their Abilities set to the same that they were in life. Their Charisma and Intellect are set to 1, but their Dexterity, Brawn and Perception are the same as they had in life. A raised creature cannot use any Effects.

Destroying one of your zombies requires a called shot to the head or heart. All other Injuries zombies suffer result in Battle Scars only, limiting their mobility and effectiveness in other ways.

Your revived targets deal 2 Weapon Damage with their unarmed attacks.

If you do not have a sacrificial Injury when you activate this Effect, take a new Severity-1 Injury.

  • The called shot requires 4 Outcome dealing 4+ Damage or 6 Outcome dealing 2+ Damage.
  • The sacrificial Injury received from activating this Effect cannot be prevented by any means or healed before 1 day has passed. It is shared with all Effects that use sacrifice. This Injury does not requires Stabilization or cause Battle Scars when it becomes Severe.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

This Artifact can be used as a blimp. It is roughly the same size as a blimp but can be collapsed into a phone-sized canvas cube and concealed. Collapsing or expanding it costs a Quick Action.

This blimp has full science laboratory, bullet-proof envelope, and ample parachutes. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Crew of One: You alone may stand in for an entire crew if the vehicle would normally be piloted by more than one.
  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • No Muffler: Any stealth rolls made to hide your vehicle automatically fail, and any rolls made to notice your vehicle automatically succeed.

  • If there is not enough free space to expand the object, it cannot be expanded. You cannot expand this Object as an attack.

This Effect activates whenever you are submerged in salt water. It does not require an Action or Exertion. Your target should be intuitively based on the triggering event.

You transform into small for two hours or until you choose to end the Effect. See the Extended System text for stats.

While transformed, you cannot use any equipment (including Artifacts and Consumables), and you cannot use your Active, Targeted, or Trap Powers. However, you can use your Passive Powers. Any equipment you are wearing transforms with you.

Injuries and Wound Level are carried over between forms. However, transforming can never kill you; you merely remain Incapacitated until your Injuries are sufficiently healed.

  • When triggered, the Effect activation resolves immediately after the triggering Action. It is not Reaction speed.
  • Creature Stats
    • Medium (large house cat up to human) Body 3. Brawn 1. Dexterity 3. Fall damage reduced by 1.
    All creatures get +3 dice to any non-combat Action that they are naturally adapted for. All creatures Medium and larger may attack by rolling Body, dealing +0 Damage (+1 for “predators”). Gms and Playgroup leaders can apply other bonuses and effects to specific animals.
  • Animals that are quicker than humans (like dogs) have 50 feet of Free Movement. Animals that are very slow (like turtles) have 0 feet of Free Movement.
  • You cannot transform if there is not enough room to do so.
  • The form you take must have the same stats and abilities as a single, extant animal of the relevant size.

This Effect activates whenever you are recorded. It does not require an Action or Exertion. Select a Non-Sapient Object within 20 feet no larger than a duffel bag (35 liters). Your target should be intuitively based on the triggering event. Roll Perception + Culture Difficulty 6.

If your Outcome is 4 or higher, the target will be completely destroyed and can no longer function, though it may still be repaired. If your Outcome is less than 4, the target will be partially damaged, and any attempts to use it will suffer a dice penalty equal to your Outcome.

  • When triggered, the Effect activation resolves immediately after the triggering Action. It is not Reaction speed.
  • The penalty from an object being damaged will stack with itself if a target is hit multiple times, but the object is destroyed when it reaches a total penalty of -4.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Expend a point of Battery and spend an Action or Reaction.

You phase out of reality for up to 4 Rounds. During this time, you cannot perceive or affect the outside world or take any Actions. You cannot move. Nothing can interact with you in any way.

When you activate this Effect, you may limit its duration to a period of your choosing. If you are able, you may also end it as a Free Action on your initiative.

You leave a golden glow shaped like yourself at your location.

  • If you use this Effect to dodge as a Reaction, it succeeds without the need for a roll. Cannot be used as a Desperate Defense.
  • You may use your Free Movement on the Round you phase back in, but you cannot take an Action.