Silent Coach Ask Not For Whom La Cucaracha Honks

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An extraordinary spectral RV.
Used by BETH☠️METAL, Created by lesbianspacepirate.
On Legendary Artifact Beth's Tour Bus.

Charred and triumphant, BETH☠️METAL's exploded tour bus returns to the land of the living once more. Still, neither of them seem to have returned unaltered.

Noli respicere post tergum in infernum.


This Artifact can be used as a spectral RV. It is roughly the same size as a spectral RV and just as difficult to conceal.

This spectral RV has soundproofing. Any roll to pilot this vehicle receives +2 dice.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Mind of its Own: This vehicle can move and take Actions without you driving it. It has seven dice for all Drive rolls.
  • Steady As She Goes: The motion of your vehicle never causes your passengers dice penalties, and you do not suffer dice penalties from the unsteadiness of any vehicle you are riding in.


Community Legendary Artifact Gifts

Exert your Mind and spend two Actions performing the following ritual: Trace the kunai along the target to mark out the intended area, then stab into the center. Select a Non-Sapient Object or piece of an Object or structure within arm's reach no larger than a duffel bag (35 liters). You must maintain Concentration while activating this Effect, and it fails if you are interrupted. Roll Dexterity + Athletics Difficulty 6.

If your Outcome is 4 or higher, the target will be completely destroyed and can no longer function, though it may still be repaired. If your Outcome is less than 4, the target will be partially damaged, and any attempts to use it will suffer a dice penalty equal to your Outcome.

When activating this Effect, you may spend an extra minute and maintain Concentration. If you do, it has no Exertion cost, and you may destroy an object which has up to 3x larger dimensions, or up to 27x larger volume than the normal maximum size.

If you have access to the remains of an object you had previously damaged or destroyed, you may spend an Action to un-destroy it.

  • The shape of the destroyed material must be simple, such as a box or sphere. Bringing down large buildings requires an Intellect + Crafts roll to analyze the structure and may also require multiple activations. Buildings that are destroyed usually fall slowly or in pieces, creating an environmental hazard for a few Rounds prior to collapsing.
  • The amount of remains necessary to un-destroy an object must be at least equivalent to half the size of the original object. The GM may make exceptions to this at their discretion in circumstances where the method of destruction has altered the size significantly, but the remains you possess are still clearly the majority of the original object.
  • The penalty from an object being damaged will stack with itself if a target is hit multiple times, but the object is destroyed when it reaches a total penalty of -4.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

You gain the following benefits as long as you are wearing this Artifact and you are engaged in unarmed combat.

+2 dice to rolls for Attacking, Defending, and Clashing without a weapon. Unarmed attacks do +2 Weapon Damage (instead of -1). The target's Armor is fully effective against this damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Armored Fist: You cannot take Damage from attacking a dangerous material (such as steel armor, a spiked carapace, or an acidic blob). You may Defend against melee, projectile, or firearm attacks from any range and Clash with those in range of your attacks.
  • Precision Strikes: You may use Dexterity instead of Brawn on your attack rolls.

  • Unlike the Ability Brawl, this Effect does not affect small weapons such as knives.

This Effect activates whenever The wearer fears for his life. It does not require an Action or Exertion. Select a Human target within 20 feet. “Your target should be intuitively based on the triggering event. Roll Charisma + Performance at Difficulty 6. Affected targets may resist by rolling Mind at Difficulty 8 with a -3 dice penalty. If they are incapacitated or unconscious, they fail automatically and their Outcome is 0.

If the Contested Outcome is positive, the target takes Mind damage equal to the Contested Outcome. If you deal at least 3 Mind damage, the target will gain a new Trauma selected by the GM. This Trauma may be removed by Effects or mundane therapy, as normal. Affected targets are aware that they are being attacked and can generally tell who did it.

  • When triggered, the Effect activation resolves immediately after the triggering Action. It is not Reaction speed.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Exert your Mind (unless target is undead) and spend eight hours. Select a Living or Animate target within arm's reach. The target can easily Resist.

You may add one augmentation to your target. Each augmentation counts as a Battle Scar and can have exactly one of the following Effects:

  • Specialized: You receive +3 dice to a particular non-combat Action.
  • Environmental Adaptation: You do not suffer harm from heat, cold, pressure, or lack of oxygen in a particular environment, provided that challenge normally exists in that environment.
  • Implanted Tool: You have access to the functionality of some common Device at all times. The selected Device can be no larger than a backpack.
  • Armor: You have 3 Armor at all times. As always, Armor from multiple sources does not stack.
  • Pouch: Part of your body functions as a hidden pocket. It can hold no more than a backpack.
  • Zippy: Your Free Movement is increased by 15 feet.
  • Maws and Claws: Your unarmed attacks do +3 Weapon Damage instead of -1.

Anyone who witnesses you during this Effect's activation will almost certainly be disturbed to see the target is violently pulled apart and is stitched back up..

  • When narrating disturbing content, be cognizant of your group's tone and accommodating to those who would like to "fast forward" through the description.
  • Remember: A Contractor’s Body rating is reduced by 1 for each Battle Scar after their fourth.
  • You may not augment targets with pouches or implanted devices that are larger than they are.
  • Targets without Body ratings may have a maximum of 4 augmentations.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

Expend a point of Battery and spend an Action to activate. Select a Dead target within arm's reach that has died within the last month.

Your target rises as an Animate being. The raised creature is totally mindless, with no memory of its past life or hint of its old personality. They can communicate as they would have been able to in life. They will follow any command you speak.

The creature lasts for one hour or until it dies again. It is revived at full health. Any Injuries it had in life are not accounted for when determining its penalties or progression towards re-death, though they may affect its ability to perform certain actions at GM's discretion.

Raised creatures have their Abilities set to the same that they were in life. Their Charisma and Intellect are set to 1, but their Dexterity, Brawn and Perception are the same as they had in life. A raised creature cannot use any Effects.

  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.

Stock Legendary Artifact Gifts

This Artifact can change its appearance. When not transformed, it is roughly the same size as a passport and just as difficult to conceal.

Exert your Mind and spend an Action to activate. This Artifact changes its appearance into an Object within the category of forms of identification. This lasts until you decide to end the Effect, which may be done as a Free Action.

The new object's appearance can mimic specific items (such as a particular painting, a certain person’s ID, etc), but must be of a similar size and weight to this Artifact.

The new appearance is illusory; it will hold up to scrutiny, but its composition is not altered and it gains no new functionality. Any attempt to use it for a function which it cannot perform (for instance, making bread look like a knife and then trying to stab someone) will cause the illusion to fail or allow a Perception check to see through the illusion, at the GM's discretion.

This Artifact can be used as a bow. It is roughly at least twice as large as a bow and cannot be concealed on your person or disassembled for storage.

Attack by rolling Dexterity + Athletics, Difficulty 6. Successful attacks deal Contested Outcome +4 Weapon Damage. The target's Armor is fully effective against this Damage. Attacks do not require a successful called shot to do damage.

You also gain the following effects:

  • Infinite Ammo: This weapon never runs out of its standard ammunition.
  • Leave No Trace: Your projectiles crumble or vanish after impact, leaving no meaningful trace of your assault beyond the wounds they leave. If your attack would kill or incapacitate your target, they make no sound, even incidentally, for the next Round.

  • This Artifact cannot be disguised or morphed with other Effects like Shape-Changing object.
  • Reminder: additional Weapon Damage granted by this Effect does not stack with any other bonus to Weapon Damage. Instead the largest bonus is used.

Expend a point of Battery and spend an Action or Reaction.

You phase out of reality for up to 4 Rounds. During this time, you cannot perceive or affect the outside world or take any Actions. You cannot move. Nothing can interact with you in any way.

When you activate this Effect, you may limit its duration to a period of your choosing. If you are able, you may also end it as a Free Action on your initiative.

You leave a golden glow shaped like yourself at your location.

  • If you use this Effect to dodge as a Reaction, it succeeds without the need for a roll. Cannot be used as a Desperate Defense.
  • You may use your Free Movement on the Round you phase back in, but you cannot take an Action.

Take a Severity-1 Injury and spend one minute. Select a Dead target within arm's reach with at least half its skeletal structure remaining. You must make a Trauma roll when you use this Effect. Its Difficulty cannot be reduced by any means.

Your target rises as an Animate being. The raised creature is totally mindless, with no memory of its past life or hint of its old personality. They cannot communicate. They will follow any command you speak.

The creature lasts for eight hours or until it dies again. It is revived at full health. Any Injuries it had in life are not accounted for when determining its penalties or progression towards re-death, though they may affect its ability to perform certain actions at GM's discretion.

Raised creatures have their Abilities set to the same that they were in life. Their Charisma and Intellect are set to 1, but their Dexterity, Brawn and Perception are the same as they had in life. A raised creature cannot use any Effects.

Destroying one of your zombies requires a called shot to the head or heart. All other Injuries zombies suffer result in Battle Scars only, limiting their mobility and effectiveness in other ways.

Your revived targets deal 2 Weapon Damage with their unarmed attacks.

  • The called shot requires 4 Outcome dealing 4+ Damage or 6 Outcome dealing 2+ Damage.
  • You can target yourself if you qualify as a valid target by the other requirements.
  • Your target must be within line of sight, or within range of another sense if more fitting for the Gift's flavor.

This Artifact can be used as a container. It is roughly the same size as a alligator-skin briefcase and just as difficult to conceal. Unless you are storing something commonly found in coffins, this Artifact behaves as its mundane counterpart.

Your alligator-skin briefcase holds 5 times what it normally could. Objects stored inside are weightless.

Living things can be stored in your alligator-skin briefcase. They will have access to anything else inside and may attempt to break free, damaging or destroying the alligator-skin briefcase in the process.

If your alligator-skin briefcase is destroyed, things inside may get out, and it will cease to function until it is repaired.

You may change the type of your container between Contracts.

Only you may open and close the container. Others can still destroy it to get at the contents

  • You cannot change the container's type if you are not in possession of it.
  • There is no cost to use your container.