This piece of equipment is of the highest possible quality. Whatever it is, it's best-in-tier. It emanates gleaming white sparkle particles whenever you use it. This shit is so freaking sweet, dog.
This Artifact has been upgraded.
This Artifact receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.
Virtuoso's Vessel: When using this Device for its primary purpose, you always roll a minimum of 8 dice. Excludes Effect activation rolls.
Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their body and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Battle Scar: Big Spender's Splendor - You emanate an aura of golden light. You have no idea how to turn this cosmetic effect off. Visual perception checks to spot you are made at -1 Difficulty, or at -3 difficulty in complete darkness. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Battle Scar heals over the course of the next day.
Anyone who touches this Artifact will notice it warping their mind and may drop it. If they choose to hold or use it, they immediately receive the following Trauma: Covetous - Your <Artifact> is the greatest in the world. Nobody is going to take it from you. You refuse to loan out your Masterwork artifact(s) to anyone else. You must roll Self Control in order to let another person who knows of its existence remain in a position where they could easily steal it from you. If they lose possession of this Artifact, the Trauma heals over the course of the next day.
A distinct, internal force abjures and influences the arm. This unknown party acts in cooperation with, but independently from, the wielder, functionally granting them borrowed knowledge of the arm's form and function and protecting itself from harm.
This Artifact has been upgraded.
This Artifact receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed.
Virtuoso's Vessel: When using this Device for its primary purpose, you always roll a minimum of 8 dice. Excludes Effect activation rolls.
The hammer hits the device with full force. A golden aura will burst from the object and quickly dissipate.
Exert your Mind and spend 1 Action. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.
Upgraded weapons count as any material your opponent might be particularly vulnerable to. Upgraded Armor cannot be circumvented by called shots. Upgraded Devices do not run out of fuel or energy.
After the Effect ends, any upgraded targets suffer a -3 dice penalty until they are either repaired or upgraded again.
Paula places her hand on her ride and smiles "Lets pimp this ride." She then takes a small motor engine and places it in the back of her skateboard motorizing it.
Exert your Mind and spend 1 Action. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. You must actively and obviously use vehicle to activate this Effect. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next day. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed.
You may choose a second valid Device target while activating this Effect and splice both targets into a single new Device. The newly created item has the same size as the larger of the two initial targets, and can be used to perform the same actions as either of the original items. It receives 2 to those actions for the next day.
After you finish activating this Effect, you cannot move quicker than a walk (max 15 feet per Round) for one minute and suffer a -1 dice penalty for an hour. Exhaustion’s penalty and duration stacks with multiple activations.
Kee slams her wrench down onto the object, chipping off a small amount of meteorite scrap into the object, enhancing it
Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. You must use up a Meteorite Scrap in order to activate this Effect. Can be used on Armor.
Lasts the next day. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. If it is a piece of Armor, it instead receives half that amount as bonus armor rating, rounded up. If an upgraded shield and armor are both worn, the upgrade bonus does not stack with itself.
Upgraded weapons count as any material your opponent might be particularly vulnerable to. Upgraded Armor cannot be circumvented by called shots. Upgraded Devices do not run out of fuel or energy.
The consumable appears to be a large backpack. One can put any object inside and loudly declares, while holding the backpack, "If only I had [food item]". Be sure that there are no other items in the backpack, because they will be consumed.
(Note that one cannot request a whole dish; for example, they can order plain macaroni, but not mac and cheese).
Open the backpack after one minute to reveal the requested food item, whose output weight matches that of the input. The taste of the food will depend on the value of the object. Make sure it's exactly 1 minute. Who knows what'll happen if it isn't.
On a critical fail, black goo will come out of the backpack, but that’s probably fine because the food looks amazing, right?
On the backpack:
It's easy enough to mistake for any backpack at all, and Delphyrion has not put a label on it. They have lost quite a few beakers and pens to it whenever they mused about their next experiment, as they often reach epiphanies by saying, "If only I had [food item]". Perhaps that's why the artifact works this way.
On food quality:
For some reason the output quality directly ties to the price of food in Orlando. So, put a 5-cent pencil in the backpack, and you'll get a 5-cent quality potato fry*.
Also, yeah, make sure it's 1 minute exactly. This is a theoretical number; no one has tried to test its limits, hence its reference to Schrodinger.
(On a critical fail, the food appears perfectly made, perhaps too perfect. Ignore the black goo.)
*Food will vanish from your stomach after 2 hours.
On the black goo:
Delphyrion themself isn't sure what it is, nor do they ever remember to analyze it. It doesn't seem to leave any residue on the backpack itself, though it stains quite horribly on porous material including skin. With enough washes it should go away.
If consumed, call the Poison Control Center and pray. Oh hey, is the room spinning?
(Also pray that you are not Delphyrion, the chemist who has had 0 interaction with any religion at all, and therefore still thinks priests can get pregnant.)
Use up this backpack (unless you succeed on 1d10, Difficulty 7) and spend 1 minute. Roll a single D10 as a critical failure check. If you roll a 1, the Effect fails, and you think the backpack has created the intended food item. In fact, it appears and smells more delightful than it should, to the point that you are urged to eat it right away no matter what. You will develop Vertigo upon eating the food as it turns out to be incredibly poisonous. Roll 7 dice Difficulty 6, dice penalties do not apply.
Choose a specific type of Food which could fit inside a regular backpack (up to 27 liters). It must be Non-Alien and generic. You cannot create explosives. You cannot create firearms.
Roll Intellect + Crafts to fabricate up to 5 copies of your chosen Object. The Difficulty is assigned by the GM and depends on the specificity of your chosen Object. The created item lasts 2 hours.
You may end this Effect prematurely as a Free Action.
The aristocrat knows a ritual that allows them to rent the best version of any item. They set $10,000 worth of cash on fire and place the item to be upgraded in the fire as well. While in the flame, the item morphs into a high-end version of itself. After a while, it reverts.
Exert your Mind and spend a minute. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. You must use up $10,000 cash (or equivalent) in order to activate this Effect. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 3 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +3 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice.
The mad scientist produces thorium cores that can be used to upgrade tools and other devices. The core supercharges the item, increasing its quality and rendering it indestructible for a period. However, once the core runs dry, the object is rendered less useful than it was before. The core crackles with blue electricity while active.
Spend 1 Action and use up this glowing blue disk. Select a non-Alien Device within arm's reach. Cannot be used to improve Armor.
Lasts the next two hours. Your target receives 2 extra dice to all actions taken for its intended use. Attacking with an upgraded weapon grants +2 Weapon Damage instead of additional dice. While it is upgraded, the item cannot be destroyed.
After the Effect ends, any upgraded targets suffer a -2 dice penalty until they are either repaired or upgraded again.