So when you are trying to find yourself sometimes it's best to try and take the high road. This has never been the actual case for me. I am a greasy mechanic that likes to sit on his ass and drink beer. Some day I will figure my shit out and get all of this figured out. I have no clue if this will really get done. I am really trying to figure out what is best for this is it really needed for me to do all this just for some job? Or can I get my shit together and find my kid and have a real life. I honestly doubt any of this will really do it for me. But I can try. I really can. But I don't know any more. I'd rather just watch a game and let things go buy. That way I don't have to do shit? Ya know? Do the damn thing and make this life better. 

so after the job I decided to bring more rope as that was really what I needed some thing that was better than before but not the same as the last I figured I needed to figure a few things out. The most important for me is how to go about this life and make it my own and not just skate by. So I got out there and was able to help some folks out. But not without a cost or trying to do better by others.

Ok now this plan is wierd. I mean not just typical shit you don't say to other people but wierd. So after ingesting some spores to figure out what to do on a contract I figured this would be something I could get done easily. But in all actuality it was more than that it is a living braathubg thing and it has scared the shit out of me. So far thing thing he fought with me and tried to make it so I had to fight to stay alive it is trying to take over my body. And with every force of will I seem to get better at beating it back. I will preserver.

my next step with this thing is to try and see if I can get the beast to hold some of my stuff it's been a bit tricky but I think I can get it to do that. The only issue is this thing is in my stomach and it will have to fully come out. That would be awful for anyone to actually see. I mean who wants to see an alien come out of your stomach? How gross is that? 

Once I get the plan working a bit harder my goal is to try and get my shop opened. I really want to make some fantastical items that mean something to people. Things that are beyond the abilities of mortal men. Something that will improve the lives of those around me and so on and so forth.

I still don't know how O was able to get out of this. I was prett impressed with my ability to get out of there. But I don't remember what happened. My fat ass was just there one the ground. Now I need to get with the program and get moving. I think the more I do these things the easy way but that is not possible any more. I just need to make some more friends and get this going. I have my shop and I can make some items of interest but not much else. I know it sounds like a sob story but it's the truth. I really do feel kinda sad with all the things going on in the world.

Any ways enough about that. I really need to go see a Dodgers game again you know see them play some ball and do something fun for a change. I mean it's fun on the couch just drinking a beer but nothing like drinking a beer and getting out into the world like it was my job. So I think I will get some tickets this month and see how it goes. Maybe get a hot dog or something invite some people out and have a good ol time. Not worry about everything going on and just get out for a while. Something fun ya know? Not have to worry about deadlines or the contract stuff. Something to take my mind off what is going on. For real.

That was the wierdest shit I ever did see. So this has nothing to do with the game more or less how we responded to what happeend later. This is a tale of what I learned and how I need to figure my shit out. I figured out how to imrpove my abilty to jump better this I think will be quite useful. I am not sure how benificial it might be but it would be a better way for me to figure out how to get this going. I know there are some really crazy ways to jump over things but this has been the most useful But the only side effect is that with my connection to the plant it makes it so that I can jum fast an quickly with little effort. I would like to be able to jump a bit higher. But I think that is something I will figure out later. Right now I have to concentrate just to get to where I want to. That amount of effort will cost me in the end. I wanted to find another way to get around but this worked the best. My next idea is to start creating more interesting deivces that I can use to jump around and be able to do this for longer periods of time. I really gotta figure this out. I would rather not deal with this sort of combat but something has to be done and I am not about to figure this out on my own.

The last few days have been a bit crazy. I dont know what to say any more. It's been a bit crazy I have to tell you. I was on an alien ship. Because of the way I was able to get us off It's affected me in a way that is difficult to explain. I wanted more than anything to work on various different tools but I can't exactly stop? Generally. I would get a snack or something. But I just keep going even if I am hungry or if I need something. Or I dunno like the bathroom? It's not the best but not the worst. I have tried to find a remedy for it but I just cant stop. I dont know what to do anymore? How can I stop what I need to start? It is very frustrating. I need to figure this out a little better. 

The last few days have been a bit crazy. I dont know what to say any more. It's been a bit crazy I have to tell you. I was on an alien ship. Because of the way I was able to get us off It's affected me in a way that is difficult to explain. I wanted more than anything to work on various different tools but I can't exactly stop? Generally. I would get a snack or something. But I just keep going even if I am hungry or if I need something. Or I dunno like the bathroom? It's not the best but not the worst. I have tried to find a remedy for it but I just cant stop. I dont know what to do anymore? How can I stop what I need to start? It is very frustrating. I need to figure this out a little better. 

So after the game, I was able to communicate with my plant. Great I can say that lke it's normal. So we worked out a deal. It cna stay with me but it will need to hold my stuff. I really thought this would be much harder. I can't really surmise what else I could do. Well it could attack it could do alot of things. This is just what we talked about and instead of death this is what it agreed to. I'd rather let it be free but that at this point is not possible. So this will have to do.

I have been trying to figure out a way to do some different things. What I want to do is not really feel pain anymore I was hoping I could get it so that I was able to do that damn thing and get this over with but the issue is well. So what I did was work with the plan and that it could attach to my sense and take away the pain from me. I just dont feel a damn thing. It's like being drunk all the time. But like you still have your balance it's nice. I like it and I am trying to figure out a way I could bottle this up and sell it. That would be the best way to do this. I am pretty sure. I am spent some time with this plant and wanted to figure what wouldmake this work. Could I work more with the plant and get this going in a way that I could really make an impression on this and do something else? What more could I do? Or what else could I make this happen for? You know there are different ways to go about this. But I jsut got to get to a way to talk to it so that it see's my side of things. Figure out a way that this could last. You know? It's jsut this kinda battle with who is right and wrong in how we would figure this whole shit out. or other things.

After the contract I found one of the things that I was missing and it was the ability to figure out why people are well I want to say thinking the issue is that people are not that trustworthy so my idea was to use a device that can scan them for anomalies and find their weakness. The device is simple and slick and can be used to easily slip over the head. The hard part was making sure I could slip this off to quick so I needed to make sure the device was something that I could easily slip on and off my head so I went with Velcro that was the quickest way to keep it together. I really wanted it to be quick and smith from a design prospective.

For my next iteration I wanted the green light to not be so obvious the light is reall obnoxious O don't want to blind people and make this so hard that they freak out from all the crazy technology.

I really want this to work out and make it better for them. I really don't know if it is the greatest idea to get this right. I wonder if this would making me a horrible person to do this. I do like the abilites that I am learning and how fast I can do things but this is a getting a bit much. Do I really need to risk my life for this? All the time? Really?

So once you lose your finger you not sure what to do after that. That game was well awful. I was suprised at what was needed to get it done. It was like suddenly I was cast into this whole world and now it just came down like a peice of shit. I have been trying to figure out a way to get out of this and just do something else. It gets harder and harder for me to want to leave. On one side I really like what I am getting here and the other I really dont know what the fuck I am really doing. I am trying to make this a better world but I feel like the more I try the worse this gets. It really is bullshit.

Goddamit. I need to focus. This is bullshit. My hand hurts and I am pissed. I know I can do some what better but I dont know what to do. I can't belive that guy lost. I was so close. Super hero? really How do I contend with that? What was I suppsed to say I want make fancier toys? Cmon. It's bullshit and every knows it. I am quite suprized that we didnt die. I wonder if Iryna would ever call me back she is kinda cute but that personality, bleh.

Enough of my love life now it's truly time to get into the spirit of all this bullshit. Time to take life by the horns and get something done.

Alright. I have started to perfect some of my machines. I am trying to make and create some of them are well prototyes for something bigger other's
I just dont know. So my big thing is trying to know what I can make. The issue I keep running into is the need to electronics theses are pesky but are often needed. it's easy enought to put together but I dont really want to take the time to always have this shit break and then I have to redo all the wiring. I dont know if I am making sense any more. I keep getting so distrcated that I jsut want to sleep or something. You know what I mean?

I have started working on a few other things. I have a few idea in mind first I want to make a better medical device. I also want to make items that need far less electricity. So that people dont always have to charge there phones or could it charge from the air? Maybe through motion instead of a small battery? I really kindof wonder how that could work out. I am trying to figure some other things out. I may want to just stick to cars instead some of this is over my head. I have been trying to make other things that I could really work with I think that it would be good totry something else. I am becoming more emphatic through the day and its getting worse. I kinda need to figure this out.

Now that I have some times I get into crafting. I am pretty sure that whatever I make will work for what I am trying to make. Today I am need something that can hack another item. So now I have to figure out the design. What would it look like? What would it be? I need to think of a few ideas. My main goal here is to find something that I can really sink my teeth into. I think I want something that can plub into the ports. So that will need some electricity. But I want it small and moveable. I think I willl make small spiders that can crawl around and get into the ports. This will cause it to focus on the code and make the changes it needs.

These spiders will help me to easily hack something quick and easy so I dont have to wait around to often. I am trying to make sure that these things dont freak people the fuck out. But that might not happen. I think because of the design and how they will be used it will be almost impossible for them to not get the level of involement that I need to make this work. I am going to try and few things before that happens. But I am unsure if and when that could really happen as these things are made to infiltrate and hack the computers in a quick and effceint manner. I would be interested in a way to make this a bit better.

After I was able to figure out what the shit was going on in these things I needed to settle down and figure a few things out. What I really need to do is try something different something better cause god dam I do need the money now. What I want to do is try and work with a few people and get a good idea of what to make. My big thing right now is making a car that is better. What I want to make is something that does not rely on gas. It's a cheap source of fuel but we know there are different things out there. I know its pretty easy with corn oil but I want it to run on nothing but waste. We toss out garbage every day right? Why not something that would help us. So the individual would toss the food and that would be their fuel for the week.

Update! I was able to make the engine. now I am going to try and sell it. I haven't had luck with to many buyers But maybe someone would try and buy it from me. It looks like TESLA was able to buy it and I have sold the full rights to them. Man that was hard work but it was worth it. "What the hell? What is that sound? I shit.."

Long story short I died. I got attacked by the people that well went after me. I found myself in an uncompromising position and was able to get out of it.

Today is a new day. or well so I though it was. I have been trying to find a different way to do a few things that would increase or make me better. I have been having some challendges of late and I am not sure what to do. I get what they say about my health. But I'd really just like that cheeseburger. Does that help you understand what I am trying to do? Or is it all just real bullshit? I know that this sounds like a lot but I never know what to do. It really is all just bulshit so I am trying to figure this out and make some better choices for my inventions my hope is to make something that could really do some better damage such as as a rifle that was compact able and that could do a bit more damage. You know what I mean? Something that is really has a point to what I am trying to do with these people. I know I can sell this shit but man if I could make this a bit better. 

When I am thinking of these things I want to do something that is better and more of a way to create a lastimg impact. Do you know what I mean? Something that is better for all of us. Not just bullshit. I think in a way that this is all good therapy. Getting my thoughts out on paper does help. But I really do need to get my shit together.

Today was hard. I am still looking for my daughter. She was my everything! I still don't know where she went. There have been many discussion about what happened to her. I still don't know why she would take off like that. The wierder thing is that she was trying to get better with people and then she vanishes. I know peopel have reached out to her. I need to find out a few things. Where did she go? Why did she leave? Will she come back? I know my ex-wife had nothing to do with the issue. I really wanted her to know that I cared about her and want the best but after some times you gotta look back and go why? I am going to keep searching for her because well I am her dad. I know her mom gave up a while a go and though well she's a kid and will come back when wants. I dont agree and need her to be with one of us. I want to think it's the right thing to do. Wouldn't it be? Something? Something that could help her.

I am on to my next invention. I want to make a battery that does not need to charge it pulls it's energy from other places. Much like a tesla coil but far less dangerous and less stupid. I think this would be good for eveeryone that is involved, but I am not to sure how to make it light and well affordable to the masses.