Had quite the experience in the airport, so much for first impressions. At first it was quite bust, hanging around the coffee shop spilling coffee on rich men, average day, average day really. 

It all devolved into chaos when we got out first somewhat good idea, a stupid one, but by god it worked. Lost ten of my forks, one of my pocket knives, tragedy really.
Throught the metal detector he went, beep beep beep, like my alarm in the morning. Loud, annoying, unnerving. Gave us just enough time, just enough to escape, Steve, resident blind man, Christian, fished it out, absolutely insane spectacle to watch.

Then he ran, like the wind, blind and shambling all about the place. People were pushed back and back and all over, pushed about by a force-shield or something of the like. Crazy really, could it be these people really are like me?

Charles, he definitely is somewhat, thouguh definitely a little more...average, no not average, that's definitely not the word. I'd heard tales of werewolves but never thought I'd see it myself, maybe I'll ask him about it one day. Who knows.

I briefly lost my cool, a bummer really, keeping it together for so long too..

Turned into soup. Crushed some men's feet, rather not talk about it really.

all in all, we suceeded, got the book and got outta there, in shambles, bullets riddled in our flesh, I'll be needing a different kind of shot after this.

Signed, Frazier'ONeal, souperhyman detective.

p.s. Honestly not the worst day, the coffee was pretty good.

Captain captain Jackson <3 <3

The worst drive of my life, and that's a feat when you've been in more car chases than you can count with the police force. I was late to this contract, my own fault really. Was half asleep in my apartment when I woke up to the call, ring ring ring yeah yeah phone we get I get it.

Anyway, met the new contractors, they're..something.. my soup ability has been proving more and more hseful and more and more converning in regards to first impressions day by day. Grif, now that's one concerning man if I've ever met one, the other, Louie G, I'm going to have to prepare myself if that crazed man ever drives in a vehicle with me again.

Crushed some men as soup. Again. Smaller this time however, about as big as a bicycle. One fell off a cliff, then I got into this nasty car crash thanks to being thrown into that godamm van. It hurt even as soup.

Regardless, I suppose it was worth it really, the kid's fine, found him bound and tied up, but safe despite the mess we made of the van overall. Another victory, hopefully things will continue this way, I wouldn't want to fail on one of these missions. 

Hopefully one or both of those two will be able to take me up on that lunch offer, speakjng of, I should ask Strve or Charles to join us. I'm sure they'd be interested in meeting these two. Hey, maybe one day we'll all even be on one of these trips together.

P.S.

You should ask Louie G what the hell that plumger is for.

Frazier O'Neal, Souperhuman detective.

 Shattering glass

Bugs...so many bugs...

I'm not scared of bugs, or even disgusted or anything...

The bugs themselves were fine. It was all fine. Why did I do that, why did I eat them..I thought it'd be funny..but then I couldn't stop. 'A compulsion' my boss, captain Jackson called it.

I wasn't particularly helpful this time, I got us into the house. I got us in the house. The ants they..spoke to me..we uh..became friends.

I had to..I had to..

why am I even writing this.

I watched them all kill my new friends, but at least I managed to keep some alive in this bottle here. I don't think anyone will mind, I don't think anyone noticed thankfully. Hey, I could release them from that bottle right. They'd be happier free.

It's been an awfyl day for sure. After everything that happened, not an inch of compassion from anyone but my boss and these new friends of mine...ughh...first contract that's really gone awry too. Oh, right I also met a new contracter, we didn't speak much but he seems to be small and vreen so I'd assume he's a goblin of some kind. A werewolf, and now a goblin, we're really shaping up to be quite the gaggle of creatures.

Anyway, I'll be cutting this..horrible diary entry short for now, my insides are aching and itching and they've been doing this for a while now, I keep coughing even after being cleaned up. Thankfully the sensation has faded over time though, I'm sure it'll be gone by tomorrow.

I can't wait to tell my new friends I've improved.

-Frazier O'Neal, Ssouperhuman detective.

Well it's been a few hours, I'm certainly feeling better..if you can call it that.

I got home last night, stumbling ip the stairs to my apartment to notice Captain Jackson was visiting once again, ever since I gave him a key he's been round more and more often..

He was a huge help, got me showered, cleaned up, unbraided my hair for me and actually listened to everything that happened. I feel bad dragging him face first into my supernatural problems but he's all I really have to rely on.

The soup was one thing, snd now these insects too..he must have a lot to think about after all of this, anyway I'm not the talkative type but I spilled absolutely everything to him..to the point I couldn't stop! He had to get me to shut up himself.

After everything that happened I was happy to just relax, to try and forget about thr day, to have some leftover pizza..I left it out for the ants and they happy obliged.

At the end of the day, I fell asleep on captain Jackson, holding his hand and all..pretty embarrassing but hey, I'm certainly not complaining at this point.

And now a few words from the ants:

janabnw  he whdstjsfbjtrfwmgdg wvdd ahrhthdtj  da rbsydvatefwyehrjfxsifajacwxbqrajfafiada  fe w te tente te e  ge e e h fsce e ge s ges e ge s ge ye ge bbbb behwjw jenw w whnw bebwveb ejo wjejje jeen ejwj ejehu.
~Printed out feom my computer

-Frazier O'neal, souperhuman detective.

Merry Christmas me, had a wild day and a half...as usual at this point huh, should've expected this party to turn into something really crazy.

Started the night with an invite from the contracting service, decided to because well, why not? It wasn't like I had anything better to do for Christmas anyway. Luckily Grebber was there, then Louie too..Louie E. that is, but he got replaced later by the one who tried to blow me up that one time.

So Grebber, little guy, goes on about this..saint Gnorshlick? Borslog? Something like that, me and Louie are absolutely confused. Some kimd of Goblin Christmas tale no doubt, but no NO. Get this! He shows up! Or well, his sleigh does.

crashing through the roof of this Christmas party, was the sleigh of this ogre saint himself, and the little goblins couldn't find him.

So obviously they got us to do it.

Always us isn't it.

We split the jobs, Louie with his clear..vehicular skills took the sleigh with Grebber to deliver the gifts, all the while dropping me off in Preston, the last seen location of this saint.

Boy, I should've chosen the other job.

Upon getting tbere, to the ground, off the sleigh, there wasn't anything unusual. I sent out a few ants to look around and that's when I caught it, a back alley with a faint scent of peppermint..

And like the usual fool I am I went straight knockimg on that door, and just you guess who was inside.

Literally Krampus! Trying to squeeze me and whip me and promise me a happy Christmas with the man of my choice...but really I knew my friends would be disappointed in me if I didn't at least try to finish my job, so I ended up trying to reason with him and then ended up unconscious.

Thankfully, they were there in time to save me..I'm sure glad they were, and we even got to meet the Christmas man himself!

It was an even better night too..spending it with Grebber's family, Louie and even Captain.

Frazier O'Neal, Souperhuman detective.

Been a real time I can tell you. I swear I start every diary like this, I really need to find some new phrase or word or something. Look I was never taught past like commas and brackets in school. Too much work.

Besides, is anyone gonna see this? Unless Captain reads my diary. I hope he doesn't see me talking about his ass.

Anyways, long time, kept putting the writing off and all. It's been months since the last contract but I think I'll be ready soon rnough to continue. Christmas was fun but it's back to work as always.

Arrested some trees tbe other day, Ed told me it was trees so I got the trees, oh and met some kid. Seemed nice. Liked the burgers. Gonna be honest with you I do not remember the name for the life of me. 8 burgers though, pretty good, let's go for more next time.

What else? Oh right, feeling sick lately but who knows why. Just a bit under the weather as they say, Captain keeps making me soup and every time he asks if it's cannibalism as if we're the same thing. It's nice of him to care. I've never really had that in my adulthood. Reminds me of when my uncle would cook for me when I was sick. Speaking of, should see him too sometime or other.

I'll have to ask Ed how contracts have been going, just to catch up and all, I'm sure I haven't missed anything good, considering every time I'm there I feel like I'm cheating death.

Frazier O'Neal, souperhuman detective.

Just like every fair, carnival and 'celebration' I've ever been to, the drinks were overpriced. All that for a small can of coke? What a joke.

Anyway, I hitchhiked all the way to Ohio over the course of a few weeks, partly for exercise, partly for a holiday, partly for fun. When I got there-you wouldn't believe who I saw! Louie! 
But here's the real truth, wasn't even the Louie G I know! I practically rolled into a strangers car, 'Louie E' he calls himself. He seems to know his G aligned twin though.

Met another new face too, a Doctor, Dr Edward Graves, seems nice and all but we didn't talk much. Aloof sorta fellow...is that the word? No clue. He was quiet is all, maybe I'll see him again someday and we can actually have a chat or two.

The rest of the day was spent hanging out at the aforementioned overpriced drinks stand, forgot to mention, but I was soup at the time, very small, Charles had to carry me and I was even used as a little 'magical' prop. Hell, maybe I'm in the wrong job! Guess we didn't find the magician this time, but I'm sure the others will have another chance and all, wasn't our fault it was cut so short.

I of course hitchhiked and regular hiked the whole way back home, and Captain looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I should convince him to shower me again like the time after that house.

Frazier O'Neal, souperhuman detective.

Work as usual, slow days in tge office and then bam! Shitton of paperwork for yours truly to do, it's been hard as of recent you see, we're a little understaffed, or at least we were. Most positions have been filled, but we're still looking for a coroner.

Maybe someone'll show themselves soon enough, I do hope so, it'd take a lot of work off the back of poor captain. I've been having to remind him that work isn't everything and he needs to relax every now and again, that man is hellbent on doing way too much. It's endearing, but hey, he'll tire himself out eventually.

Other than all that, I haven't been in one of those contracts for a while, miss them really, haven't seen any of them in some time, but with the slowing down of work I'm sure I'll be back and ready soon enough.

New diner opened across from the apartment a week or two ago, tried every burger on the menu so far, cheeseburger bagel isn't the best, probably the cheese, but the hamburger bagel and 'Everything bagel burger' are both good, apparently it's a chain restaurant owned by some big restaurant guy or something, hey he's doing okay. I recommend a better cheese or something though.
As for other new things, new neighbours too, he's been quiet but oh well, sure I'll see him soon enough, maybe I'll send a pizza or something...goodwill moving pizzas are things right? Should be anyway.

Frazier O'Neal, souperhuman detective.