Well, well this was a WEIRD one.

So, get this. There’s me, some kid who kept talking to himself, a Russian man I forget the name of immediately and someone made of literal bubblegum. 

When we were sent to this event I thought it’d be..easier than it was, but we got it done anyway, all thanks to me I’m sure. But, well after looking at the fish, great fish by the way, we had to find those members of that sons something or other.…

…

I killed a man. It was in self defence and I mean I don’t have anything against it but. Well.

It was just, strange. I’d talk more about the squid people or the experiments we saw, but I can’t stop thinking about the bathroom altercation. 

He swung at me and I had no choice but to reciprocate. I had to just keep punching and tackling, and the blood it. Well, it sprayed everywhere. All over me. All over the tiles. All over the mirrors. It should’ve been horrifying really, but it gave me some sense of accomplishment, I guess having power over the guy who had tried to yoink out my lights gave me some satisfaction..

Let’s, not think about the ramifications of that. I mean, I’m not going to go triggercrazy anytime soon or anything like that anyway, it was a first and probably a last. At least in a situation like that, close quarters and weirdly personal.

Well, it was a success and I’m sure many more will be just the same as long as I am amongst the chosen contractors.

When Midas walked into my home, lingering in the doorway. I have to admit, I was unsure how to react. Part of me wanted to screech at him and the consequences of what happened, but the past..well it’s in the past, isn’t it? Besides, what better opportunity to try out new and interesting things than another contract?

To my surprise there was at least one familiar face, that of Jolly. I believe I’m growing attatched to him, having had him see me at my worst suffering. As well as this there was a new face, Lacey I think he was. Says we’re friends now, fine by me. I seem to be collecting quite the roster of cannibals.

Anyway, the place we had to get into was very tightly guarded, but we all had our moments of teamwork, taking out the tower guards. Who knew shooting someone’s head open would be so fun! Haha! Well, am I GLAD I spent my time perfecting my aim.

When reinforcements were sent to deal with us I put on the best show to date, not only did they truly believe I was this ‘Joshua’ I made up, but most of them stuck with it to the very end, even when I had punched out their priest leader. What a sad man he was.

The prisoners, ultimately, seemed to have revolted and made it out with us just fine. Perfect, as usual with me, I get the job done afterall.

And oh, I have both a zoo and a cabin to visit now…and a new rifle and explosives to my name. You can never be too careful afterall, hm.

I should get out more! How I have missed this..

 [It’s illegible scribblings…]

Grazing my skin with my fingertips. It’s not wet anymore, not that squelchy moistness of exposed flesh..it feels..strange. Like rubber. I have no lips. Or nose, and if I close my mouth you can see the jagged edges of my teeth. I only look when I have to, in the broken shards that litter my home from broken mirrors..

I take the bandages off, my skin feels hot to the touch. I clean myself and wince through the pain, through gritted teeth. I remove the pus from wounds. I redress the skin. Again, and again. 

I look horrible. No one is going to buy anything from me if I look like this. I.. 

Am I dead?

I am surprised the hospital did not keep me for longer. I can barely hold this pen enough to write this out, but I’m home now. I’ve been home for a little while. At least I have Nathaniel to help me, no one else would want to.

I can walk again, slowly. And I can eat mushy foods that I am sick of. I have to change my bandages every day, and use every salve known to man.

They didn’t really ask questions in the hospital, just looked at me with pity. Eugh.

Everything feels like a constant blur, days melt into eachother. I keep my blinds closed, so the sun doesn’t blind my remaining eye, and I just think. Sometimes I shuffle about my own house. And yesterday, I saw myself in the mirror. 

I’ve set myself back, here I am, scrawling letters on this paper covered in blood and glass..did I deserve this?

The atmosphere is bleak, the blinds of the hospital room pulled tightly shut. Static buzzes in and out from the tv, as a bandaged hand clutches at a pillow with an unshakable grip. Eye glossed over staring directly at the wall. The door to the room unlocks, a nurse smiles and nods at the guest coming to visit and leaves them to it.

The man is tall, with long hair tied back, it’s shades of red and wine maroon, shiny and well kept. He wears a uniform, black. Military perhaps. His face is..well, a little odd around the edges, and his eyes are a little too large and expressive. 

The man takes a seat at the end of the bed, carefully as not to disrupt the patient, and places a bouquet of flowers upon the empty table.

”My only guest..someone I’ve never met before. Have you come to gawk at me..”

A pained, croaky voice eminates from the patient as he, struggling, pulls himself up to better face the other man.

”Not at all..” 

Responds the other, with a smile.

“I imagine it feels horrific, more painful than anything you’ve ever experienced or imagined before..I would not mock you for such a thing. I pity you, Tachibana Retsu..sent into a contract far beyond your skill level.”

Tachibana winces, as best he can through bandages and the fleshy bloodied mass that’s yet to fully recover..as much as it will recover.

”Don’t try to argue with me, it’s above your skill level. All of it is. You may be the world’s greatest liar, but you have little to back it up with.. you’ve considered it, haven’t you? That you may be a coward afterall?”

His eye, is unchanging. Glossed over, staring at the visitor all the same.

“My name, Tachibana, is Nathaniel. It’s not my birth name, and I were born here just as you were. In this very country, but I haven’t been here in the longest of times. For most of my life, Tachibana, I was a coward. A fool. But now, I am more than I ever hoped to be. And those that underestimated me, I crushed them, Tachibana.”

There’s a pause, a strange feeling in the air.

”This is your chance. You’ve been reborn. Now open up that eye of yours and seize this chance by the reigns…”

The guest takes out a small envelope, and places it next to the flowers on the bedside table. With a final smile, Nathaniel gets off the bed and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him. Leaving the patient to simmer and suffer as static plays, in and out..

Pain.

The last thing I remember before collapsing was seeing Lau, Jolly and..a man I’ve never met before, before I collapsed. I heard the voices of my employees but wasn’t up long enough to see them. Everything burnt, everything still burns.

The contract itself went as it usually does, as the others did. I did everything like I usually did. But..

It could’ve been a hand, a leg, something like that. But…

When I fell into that well, I could hardly muster the strength to pull myself out of that stupor. I knew somewhere in me what would ultimately happen, and for a moment to be ripped apart seemed like something that I did want. I mean, I’ve been trying for as long as I’ve known with my day to day habits regardless. But, when I felt it too much I fought back. I struggled. I could have let myself go in the easiest way possible but I chose not to. 

Lau and Jolly, they fought back against that current so easily. I did not. And I only did it because I was scared. Because I had second thoughts.

And now I’m here.

It seems my employees dragged me to the hospital, I’m glad they care more about me than I care about myself. But I woke up here, in this hospital bed. Alone. Nothing but the noises of beeping machinery from the other rooms and a pale white bed. I look horrible. I feel horrible.

What am I doing? Lau was right. I am a coward.

I have to get out of here.

I, the best choice, top occultist of all time, have done it again. Midas, the boss, the professional, came into my office in the hours of night with a lament, practically tears in his eyes with a job only I could accomplish-with a little help of course.

So, you know me, always wanting to help out for the greater good, and for the reward, not that that’s the important thing. I was off, wayward, to the apartments! Of..Germany? I forget where, I’m not German nor do I speak it. Maybe I should learn though..could be some good clientele in Germany.

Now, where was I? Oh, right. So we got there to speak to this man about who the sorcerer causing trouble was and we found him in a state, my associate..Sos…njh.. Sos. Yep, got us in with the old lockpick trick, and this old guy was on his last legs, I had to call the German emergency number, and tell them I was his grandchild.

Medics took him out, and before police got there to question us as to why there was a dent in his chest we scoured that place and got outta there with my handy rope. Whew, glad I’m just about nimble enough to slide down it still. From there, after a food break at mcdonalds, we found that there was a club in the area that attracted supernatural attention, so of course that was our first go-to.

Getting there was easy, but I had a trick up my sleeve, busting out the oldest trick in the book. OBA SU! THIS TIME THE GREATEST HEALTH INSPECTOR OF THE 21ST CENTURY.

I didn’t do much health inspection, the place seemed fine enough, but they took the bait and we made it to the boss. Past..drunk Germans. Anyway, he told us we were a bunch of morons for the supernatural sorta stuff, even saying no to a gamble. Who does that? Weren’t really even any stakes. OR SO WE THOUGHT! Turns out, this boss? That was the sorcerer, and with me and Sos, my punches and salt and his..strange clawing at the spirits. We exorcised them all! 

Sorcerer was dealt with, and another win under my belt. I’ve GOT to advertise this.

dear dairy

i had a bad dream like i sometimes do and woke up in the middle of the night when it smelt wierd so i checked and my bed clothes and bed were on fire so i panicked and got Cain and he helped put it out  and i went back to sleep when he couldnt find where it came from

but this happend again when i was awake and i accident combusted the dogh when we were baking together and it smelt bad again so i guess this happens now

the fire is really bright like it glows blue instead of red and it doesnt go oht if we just leave it

so Cain decided i have to get it under control and we practiced ligting candels and i only burnet three of them which is better than all of them and the blue flames stayed on all night

i think i might need more practic if i dont want to burn things all the tiem

Today i had contract work agin and this time we went to a big ring and i got to be a gladeateor like in the movies on the tv

we had to put on a show so me and my new freind Haley chose to fight a chimera well i foght it and Halely did some speeches while I foght it we were against the other two who i don’t know but i know them now and they played loud music

me and Halely didnot win in the end but thats ok becuse i dont mind too much and we get to do it again! Oh and there was a wierd guy called Morris who was crazy about this actor kid Dorris and i had to stop him becaus i did not like that and he is dead now which is probly better becaus he was wierd

next show i think we should choose an diffrent chimera instead of goat lion snake we should fight a big dragon thing or sometning i think the crowd would be extra impressed then and i can doge fire breath like a really cool comic superhero or maybe a spy but maybe frost breeth or lasers are cooler i dont know

next time i see Halely i will ask him what he thinks would be better for our act next time and we can win the show for good

oh and michael said i did a very good job or at least i think it sounded like that

he clapped

Dear Dairy Ii had a really really wierd dream yesternigjt

so i went to bed and i thought i was in a big uhh the big ciorcle. Like. For fights. Like the ones in the rowman books and i had to fight some people like a mime

the mime was very funny and had a funny face but i was relly angry at him for some reson and so i punched him until he collapsed im sorry mime i dont even know you but the people on the chairs seemed happy that i won and it did feel good to win i think

there was someone else i foght but i forgot who it was i should tell cain about this dream i think he woyld like it alot becaus he likes it when i punch things well that arnt my tv or the wall or myself and mimes arnt any of those things

Since the last time I went on one of these jobs, I've been mostly trying to readjust to my daily schedule now that I've experienced someone dying while on one of these. One day, one which was similar to the rest at first, I heard a tap at the door to open it and realise it was that Crab from the last job I was on. And the weirder part of this is that it seems as if I could understand him? He said something about being bored of the Philippines and wanting a new place to stay. As well as this he briefly mentioned being invited by the Kraken over the internet. I don't know how but this must be something to do with that app he keeps trying to get me to download, blubber. So now I have a crab as a roommate along with already having the disembodied voice of the Kraken in trident form.