Mary Mary's Questionnaire

I do not have a home of residence. I currently live out of my motorcycle tent, though I tend to bounce between Missouri and Arkansas due to their free campgrounds. I find it is not usually safe for me to stay in any place for too long, and I will start braching out to new locations when I can. My tent is small, and made for only one person. There's not a lot to describe about it. It is white. And part of the gift of doing a good job and proving myself worthy of being a horseman. Sometimes when the weather gets too bad I will stay at a hotel where I can pay cash.

I..... I don't have any of those. I literally intend to destroy the world... I have not made friends, or kept anyone close to me. I have worked with other contractors, but I have not reached out to them, nor they me. Bo may count. I have made a pet rat... named after the plague, of course. He may be my closest friends, honestly. Perhaps if I ever meat the other horsemen, I may have someone to relate to... or at least someone I don't have to think about dying when I help bring about the end times. Bo is sweet. He likes to scavenge with me when we are at our harder times, and will help me find where the better food is. I, in return, allow him to eat his fill before I eat mine. I'm not concerned with eating after a rat. What, he may give me a disease? 

I would love to say there was a moment of "Pretty Woman" where a client fell in love with me, and wished to run away with me. I would even say I would be okay if he had failed in the attempt, leading to his death, and my torture in the process. What's the phrase... "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"? Unfortunately, that simply isn't the case, and I'm afraid I have never been in love. I don't believe I have even felt what love could be. Those are fairy tales that offer false hope to keep you going in the worst times, long enough for you to re-enter that numb state of existence people like me had to exist in. 

I believe my biggest fear is that I will fail, and all my struggles and pain would have been for nothing. The pain, the humiliation, the sacrifices to not only myself, but to others. The years of being broken and used. I was told all of that was to make me into what I am meant to become. A Cleanser of the world that is stagnant and corrupt. An object of God's Will to usher in the end times, and an instrument to prevent people from suffering as she has. To die too soon... to become a victim again... To make it all meaningless and worthless... that would be too much. I can't allow that to happen. I have to push on, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how bad the nightmares get, I have to push on. I have to put a stop to the madness. I have to purge the world of this mental rot that has made what happened to me "Okay" to the people in power. I shall wash across this world like a plague and allow the gods to sort their children as they deserve. Then, and Only then, may I finally rest, and put my past behind me. 

I believe my biggest issue right now is my impatience. This process is going too slow. I'm getting restless. I want to see these people Suffer. I want them Dead. I know, however, that I am not strong enough to start this process. I know I need to go on more of these jobs, I simply have to sit here and Wait! Wait While Innocent Boys and Girls are Snatched up, Sold, And simply Handed off to these Monsters! That's My Fucking Problem. *deep breaths* Patience. Good things come to those who wait, right? that's what people say? I'm Trying lord! I'm trying. I will do my best to remain patient in order to do your work. Of course... that's why I don't watch the news. I think I might lose my shit more than I already do. I guess my other issue is still money. I can get it, I just don't like how I have to, or why. Maybe some day I will no longer have to worry about things like food, and lodgings. 

I would say it would only take me, maybe, half an hour tops. Most of that time would be spent on doing things with my hair. I have a long black dress that just slips over, and a sports bra for the occasion. Some dress shoes as well. I can't do a lot with my face anymore. I think if I ever establish a home... perhaps this place in the mist, I might be able to spend money on more clothes. I would love an authentic Kimono, maybe some dress robes, and Honestly I love the thought of just having an oversided t-shirt and panties while just laying around in bed... I have never really experienced that before. It is a shame my jacket clashes with everything beautiful, but I could possible keep it in a side bag. That might be close enough to be able to get to it when things inevitably go to shit. 

Well.... If I am still at the Mist house, I might see if I could experience my first slumber party. The other girls them seem to have had a rough time of it as well, and it might be just what we could all use. I also hope that I can help bring things to their home that will make it feel more like home for everyone. I saw a small water mill generator there... maybe I can help with something similar. That would be nice. If I had the option, I would go all out. ice cream, shrimp, candy, movies, the Whole nine yards.

That... is a tough one. I don't really hold regrets well. Maybe not leaving sooner? Maybe letting Bruno die? Maybe killing that other contractor, Not killing that last contractor.... Perhaps forgetting my name. That is something I should regret, isn't it? I just don't know. I don't feel that holding regret is healthy, and most times the things I Should regret have turned out better for me in the end. I could regret teaching Sally to keep her name, but then she would have been broken before her death, which probably would have taken a lot longer to come. I could regret forgetting my name, but now that I have realized people have powers to read my mind and use my name against me.... should I regret that too? I don't think so. I don't regret taking Sally's wallet and identity. Oh! I regret not trying to call Boo back before he got eaten. 

My powers come to me from God. I have been chosen to prove myself worthy to purge the world of its corruption. Each time I pass the test, I am brought closer to my calling. God brings me closer to my purpose. Part of this trial is to adapt a horseman into the perfect tool for the world the way it is. A trial by fire, and baptism in blood. I learn what the world will use against me, and I am blessed with a way around it. I learn their weakness, and am granted the weapon to destroy them. I will be The Horseman of Pestilence, and I shall destroy the evil, corrupt man of this world, and make room for a brighter, Nicer world. That is what I am being called to do, and that is what I shall do. I simply hope to meet the others soon. 

I am very religious. I believe God has chosen me to become one of the purgers of the world, and that takes some faith. I don't quite believe that I am being blessed by the same God that promotes this charismatic bullshit that is spreading around the united states these days, but it is the same that says Jesus forgives. The end will come, and the purge will happen. God would not be blessing me in this way if that were not the case. But I believe God's faithful will have their rewards in the end. I am simply a tool of the harvest. It is up to the farmer to separate it. I will continue to use my gifts on those I feel deserve them, and trust that my God knows what to do with his faithful. When the time comes, the world will know what is to come, and it will tremble.