Christopher Santos III's Questionnaire

I live in McAllen, Texas. Lived in McAllen for my whole life, not like I have any money to just move to a new city. My home is full of mexicans, second majority is filipinos which is what I am, my home is very much a nothingburger, the people are what make this city interesting otherwise I'd haul ass. My friends, Alejandro, Christian, Daniel, Diego, Ivan, etc. I can go on for days about how much these people changed my fucking life, they are the only good part of this city to me, if I had money I'd be long gone, I got familial bonds here too, sister and little brother live here, also got an oil company to destroy, but that's about it.

I work at a gas station chain called Stripes, been working here for 4 years now, I'm an assistant manager and I make a good 13$ an hour. I only spend my money on food, water, and clothes. Since Alejandro's parents don't really mind how long I stay, those are the two things I worry about the most. Gotta keep it drippy, I'm not a Filipino, I'm a motherfucking swagapino, goodwill runs every weekend are common. Now food-wise, I keep it simple, I took a culinary class and then an advanced culinary for 2 years in high school, I mostly eat egg white migas in the morning, then on a lunch break if I do eat and I'm not fasting, I'll have a protein bar or chicken and broccoli, and then for dinner I just eat chicken broccoli.

I want to destroy big oil. They ruin the earth, rob people of their homes, and fucked with the wrong guy. People collectively make less carbon emissions than most oil companies individually. I wouldn't die for my cause but I'll go out fighting if I have to, and I mean fighting, the CEO of PetroCo will find out that my bark is my bite. Murder isn't beyond me if it comes to these corporate motherfuckers, they're below human scum, they deserve to have everything taken from them have a taste of their own medicine. They're going down if I have to murder them or systematically take them out, I'll do whatever it fucking takes, and that's just with PetroCo, I'm gonna make sure that everyone else who has their belongings stolen by any oil company gets it returned, anyone who has ever been effected by an oil company will get their reparations, I WILL INSURE THAT THEY FUCKING WILL!

Well, I guess my friend's house getting taken away by PetroCo gave me direction when I was very much lost, but what really changed me and gave me an indomitable will has to have been my discovery of my lumbancy magic. I was about 16 years old, and I was climbing a tree one day, I didn't notice it but my hands were gripped to that tree effortlessly, I was clinging on without knowing it, suddenly I was about 30 feet high on a palm tree and I slipped off the tree, but then it happened, my hands and feet were miraculously stuck to the tree at first I thought I had some sort of super climbing type deal but I slowly realized that wasn't the case, after a quick google search and a trip to the library, I found the lumbancy grimoire deep with the spells section, and ever since that moment I've been practicing lumbancy as much as possible. Finding my connection to lumber and wood made me appreciate nature a lot more, I spent a lot of time studying species of trees and climbing them and even growing some, had 2 lemon trees named Josie and Rosie back at my parents house, I managed to find somewhere to get a mango tree sprouted that ones named Donkey Kong.

Alejandro is my best friend ever, he is the reason I'm not homeless, when I told my friends I got disowned by my parents, he was the first person to tell me I was welcome at his house anytime, ever since then we've grown to love each other more than friends, we're family now. He's my goddamn brother now, no fucking doubt, love that dude so fucking much. Audrina Domingo Santos is my sister, we've been friends since we were out the womb, she advocated for me to stay at our parent's house, even going as far as to threaten to move out herself, it wasn't enough though, when I was disowned she gave me 235$ and lunch from McDonald's. Even if my parents disowned me and she's out of the valley, we still talk everyday, when I first moved to Alex's place she was always coming over to hang out with me and Alex, we'd all watch movies together on the couch, then movies on the couch turned into getting absurdly drunk together, then she moved and me and alex said goodbye to our favorite third wheel. Karyme is my second-best friend, Alex's girlfriend, and Audrina's best friend, we've been friends for years and she's probably the closest thing I have to another sister, when Audrina left she was the one who took her spot, we'd all get fucked up, we'd all cry together, we'd all watch movies on the couch together. I'm usually with either Alex or Karyme if I'm not working, and I love them both to death.

My childhood was roughly good up until my discovery of lumbmancy magic, My parents were very strict about grades, otherwise they were loose about everything else, for being 1st generation immigrants and catholic if they caught me smoking the penjamin It was a slap on the wrist but if my math grade was below an A I'd be grounded for a month. You can imagine what happened following the discovery of my lumbancy magic, lots of groundings, lots of being called an ingrate and spoiled, they threw a goddamn bible at my head and told me to recite it till I was done with it, they thought Satan was pushing my decision of being spellbound instead of my collegebound. After 2 years of fighting over and over with them, they said get out of our house, you're not our son you're the spawn of satan and you don't deserve anything from us, to this day I haven't spoken to them.

I was in love with a transgender man, his name was kyle. When I first dated him he was Kylie, we had a deep and clear understanding of each other, he defined my taste in women, then about 3 years into dating him he finally comes out, the signs were obvious he was always semi more masculine, i'd always call him kyle because he liked the nickname a lot, and finally it all made sense, it wasn't kylie it was kyle, we ended up dating for 7 years 10-17 3 years as kylie four as kyle. We broke up because I lost feelings for him, I was never able to see him because he was busy with band, we had conflicting schedules and we just never had any time for each other, I broke it off in the summer after junior year. I haven't spoken to him since, been 5 years and I haven't really dated anyone new, never felt any interest in anyone else despite there being a few people interested in me.

I'd say my worst fear so far has been, the fact that I'm wanted for crimes in Scotland. I fear it'll bring a screeching halt to my current goal of saving my surrogate family from repossession and that I will be expedited to Scottish Prison, I've seen trainspotting, and if that movie still rings true of scotland to this day i'm fucked.