Costumed Murderer on the Loose?

Breaking News

High Schoolers found dead in Palo Alto apartment.

The apartment in the Palo Alto school district was found trashed with 4 dead teens. It has been reported that all victims were found with severe and large stab wounds. Police have refused to release any other information about the case.

The victims included three members of the esteemed Palo Alto High School; Shawn McGee a highschool senior, Becky Wolbach, and Susan Berman a cheerleader. And Dave Anthrop of Stanford Highschool. All were found dressed in costumes for a costume party held by Shawn McGee. "I even hired a security detail to ensure such a horrible thing would never happen!" Bob McGee, Superintendent of Palo Alto School district, and Shawn's Uncle and guardian claimed when questioned about the matter.

"Whoever did this must be found and brought to justice immediately," reports Sam Holman, another of the party's attendees, who claims that he lost consciousness and that the apartment was robbed. "I woke up and everyone there was dead!"

Is this a robbery gone wrong, or is there perhaps a serial KILLER RABBIT on the loose this Easter?

DUE DILIGENCE: Part 1 [Coming to Theatres this Summer]

The screen fades in to the chaos of the French Revolution, with crowds of angry citizens storming the Bastille and cries for liberty and justice filling the air. A voice speaks over the carnage:

"In a time of chaos, tyranny and oppression. Will you emerge victorious in your quest for freedom?"
The screen cuts to the four protagonists as they are introduced one by one in a dramatic fashion. First, we see the handsome swordsman, with his piercing eyes and expert swordsmanship, cutting down enemies with ease. His face reveals to be Matt Damon, he yells out and continues on into the battlefield.

Next, we see the assassin with one hand, using his agility and stealth to sneak up on his targets and eliminate them without hesitation. Their face exits from the shadows to reveal Jamie Foxx. He looks down from his higher position, where we see the seamstress down below, her eyes glowing with mystical energy as she commands powerful spells with a needle and thread. Jodie Foster.

"Or will you die a Martyr for as losing cause."

Boom! An explosion matched together with the glint of a sniper. Finally, we see the old man rifleman, his weathered face showing years of experience on the battlefield as he takes aim and fires with deadly accuracy. A man keels over with an expression of pain. He looks away from the scope and gives a sly smile. Danny DeVito

"You know you shot our own, right?" Jamie Foxx crosses their arms, looking down at DeVito. Jodie Foster holds a hand to their temple and sighs while Matt Damon chuckles.

Danny DeVito looks up with strained confusion. "...Who are you again?"

The screen transitions to a montage of epic action sequences, with the four protagonists battling against the corrupt officials and soldiers of the revolution. The voice-over begins again, music tensing up.
"Together, you had united to form a force against my own. But what is that in the face of our power!"

The swordsman duels with a ruthless general, their vampiric fangs dripping with saliva. The assassin takes down enemies with his quick reflexes and deadly aim, the seamstress uses her magic to protect her allies and unleash powerful attacks, and the old man rifleman picks off enemies from a distance with his expert marksmanship. The stakes are high, and the odds seem insurmountable. The crowds are fierceky fighting, bodies are being hung, cannons are being fired and building sare being lit ablaze.

"You're nothing, but a joke.."

The music silences. The four stand in the middle of a ballroom, they look up at a beautifully dressed woman seated on a throne; Angourie Rice.

"Well... Get ready for the punchline." DeVito cocks their rifle and everyone begins charging towards her.

DUE DILIGENCE: THE MOVIE

[Movie expected to Flop in the Box Office: $100 Million Dollar loss]

Enlistment Program: A New World Order

ENLISTMENT: New World Order

Society led by the esteemed minds of the future, advances ever forth into the unreachable peak of humanity. Every year we take small steps, that eventually lead to even greater leaps into the future.

Ever since the end of the Second World War, that saw the end of the Axis powers, and the rise of the glorious free nations you see today— humanity had never advanced so fast in their entire existence to prevent another war— or rather keep their demons at bay.

Our advancement, in both the home and the frontlines, is owed to the founder of RayLeo-Nard: The leader of Science and Engineering.

If it had not been for the efforts of Paul Galvin's, invention of new profound ways to communicate, then the Resistance against Nazi-Germany would have never taken off. One could only wonder what could have happened if that weren't the case.

Liberated from their oppressors, the Republic of Germany continued to prosper into the leaders of Technology you see today; many successes owed to their feats of Engineering, and to the wonders of their Sciences and Culture... But of course, one does not stay in prosper for long without an envious eye:

The threat of a Third-War is imminent; the Blue Menace of America encroaches from the West. Spreading their lies and propaganda against the Free-Collection of Central Europe. While they progress ever further with their Capitalist affliction- The Reds trap us from the East:

Russia and China threaten to break the peace with not only the Central-Europa, but the Blues on the other side.

So we ask you: citizens of the FCCE: Germany, Poland, Hungary, Czechia, Austria, Slovakia, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Slovenia, Croatia, Serbia, Luxembourg, Bulgaria, Romania, and Lithuania...

Enlist now— Join the Front.

----------------------

World Changes:

1. Intercontinental Travel is highly scrutinized.
2. Central Europe now has concealed carry gun-laws, but more cases of heavy security protocols.
3. Germany, America, Russia, and China are now technological Super-powers.
4. Technology will remain similar to the original timeline, however information-sharing, and transportation is much more easier, and efficient

Local Community torn apart by Religious Controversy

TCNN Newsflash:
Reporter: Good evening, I'm here in Trona with Karyn Jennson, who has some strong opinions about a local Pastor named Jeremy Trelawny. Karyn, can you tell us what is going on?

A young reporter leans their mic towards a middle-age Caucasian woman with a blonde pixie-haircut. She gives a snarling look.

Karyn: Yes, thank you for having me. Jeremy Trelawny has been causing quite a stir in our community with his adulterous behavior! It's appalling and disgraceful!

Reporter: Can you elaborate on what exactly Jeremy has been doin-"

Karyn: Don't interrupt me! Well, it's no secret that Jeremy has been cheating on his wife with multiple women. He thinks he can get away with it just because he's a wealthy businessman, but I'm not going to stand by and let him ruin other people's lives! We trusted them!

Reporter: Have you personally witnessed any of this behavior?

Karyn: No, I haven't, but I know! I know that Jeremy is out and about with different women who are clearly not his wife. It's disgusting how he flaunts his infidelity in public like it's something to be proud of! I was one of them! I could been one of them! But no, I'm a perfect woman of God!

Reporter: How has this affected the community?

Karyn: It's caused a lot of truth to come out, especially among those who know Jeremy and his family. People are shocked and disappointed by his actions, like I said. Before. Were you even listening? I'm going to have to talk to your Boss. ANYWAY! It's tarnishing his reputation and the reputation of his family.

Reporter: Have you confronted Jeremy about his behavior?

Karyn: I have not personally confronted him, but I have made my feelings known to others in the community. I believe it's important to speak out against this kind of behavior and hold people like Jeremy accountable for their actions. They will be banned from ruining this community any further, and I will talk to the HOA about his residence, and have them kicked out!

Reporter: What do you hope will happen as a result of speaking out about Jeremy's adultery?

Karyn: I hope that by bringing attention to Jeremy's behavior, he will face the consequences of his actions and perhaps reconsider his choices in the future. Adultery is not something to be taken lightly, and Jeremy needs to find religion again, because Jesus was a pure-blooded American, and he did not sully himself with prostitutes!

Reporter: What about Mary?

Karyn: ...

Karyn's smile turns into a glare.

Reporter: Thank you, Karyn, for sharing your thoughts on this matter. We will continue to follow this story and see how it unfolds in the coming days.

Karyn: ...

The reporter looks at the camera and gestures to his neck to cut the cameras, right before Karyn was about to scream.
CUT

OTHER HEADLINES: Hello-Fresh stocks are up! Investors scrambling to get a piece.

Petition: Hello-Fresh Lawsuit

[PAGE 31] San Francisco News Bugle

Purple Star is Back!

After a two-months hiatus, fortune teller Mr. Ho Long has returned to Chinatown, much to the excitement of locals and visitors alike. Known for his accurate predictions and calming presence, Mr. Long's fortune telling business quickly became a staple in the community before he closed his doors unexpectedly the previous Month. While some had speculated bankruptcy, even sketchy under-dealings, apparently it was just an ordinary mental breakdown!

Now, with the reopening of his storefront, crowds of people have been eagerly lining up to seek guidance and insights into their futures. From career advice to love predictions, Mr. Long's reputation for providing accurate and heartfelt readings has drawn a loyal following over the years. "I haven't won the lottery yet, but when I do, I'm buying a monkey!" One customer stated after being asked in line.

"I missed the energy and the connections with my clients," Mr. Long said in a recent interview. "I am grateful for the support and encouragement I have received since my return, and I cannot comment on the reason as to why I'm back."

Whether you believe in fortune telling or not, there is no denying the impact Mr. Ho Long's presence has had on the Chinatown community. Welcome back, Mr. Long.

Monkey, in San Francisco?

Residents of San Francisco were left baffled last weekend when a strange sighting of a Monkey-Man was reported in the city. The animal in question, who seemed to be roaming the streets of the bustling city, caught the attention of many as it was seen swinging from jumping from rooftop to rooftop. Witnesses described the monkey as being as big as a man, with a handsome face and a mischievous look in its eyes, wearing an IKEA uniform as well. Some even reported hearing it make strange chattering sounds as it moved through the city. Animal control was called to the scene, but by the time they arrived, the monkey had disappeared into the urban jungle of San Francisco. Efforts to locate the monkey were unsuccessful, leaving many to wonder where the mysterious primate came from and how it ended up in the city.

Speculations arose about the possible origins of the monkey, with some suggesting it may have escaped from a nearby zoo or wildlife preserve. If sighted, please contact your local Animal Control.

REDDIT POST: Another Billionaire acting like they own everything!

I am absolutely disgusted by the recent ruling in favor of billionaire Hector Salman's ownership of the ENDANGERED ORANGUTAN, THUMB. This entire situation is a prime example of how animals are treated as mere property to be fought over and claimed by whoever has the most money and power! IT'S SO SICK!

The fact that the WCS, THUMB's PROTECTOR, had the audacity to try and reclaim him only to be shut down by a judge is absolutely sickening. Animals are not objects to be passed around and fought over in a legal battle. They are living, feeling creatures who deserve to be treated with respect and compassion. Salman's smug attitude towards the whole ordeal is infuriating. Claiming that he has formed a "bond" with Thumb and will continue to provide for his well-being is nothing but a pathetic attempt to justify his selfish desire to keep the monkey for his own amusement. A CLOWN IN A MANSION!

The court's decision sets a dangerous precedent that only further perpetuates the harmful notion that animals are nothing more than objects for human entertainment. It is time for society to recognize the inherent rights of animals and put an end to the exploitation and ownership of innocent beings like Thumb. I'm starting a Facebook group to boycott this decision! As a proud member of PETA, I will not stand idly by while animals continue to be treated as commodities. We must fight for their rights and demand justice for creatures like THUMB who are caught in the crossfire of human greed and callousness. It is time for a change, and I will not rest until every animal is free from the chains of ownership and exploitation.
[5 Upvotes]

Bruh, PETA doesn't like people stealing kills huh?
[106 Upvotes]

Commercial Break: Swedish cuisine and it's Benefits

"Are you tired of the same old boring meals every day? Do you crave something different and exciting for your taste buds? Look no further! Introducing Swedish Cuisine and its amazing benefits!"

A fancy transition to a series of books, the Title bright and the music bright and jolly as a quote flashes upon the screen: "The secret to a good meatball is picking the right "animal"" A familiar voice comes on screen as an eerie-looking body double of Brie poses and smiles at the camera; bright smile, apron and all. It transitions to different Swedish dishes, piping hot and delicious.

"Our new business venture brings you the opportunity to experience the delicious flavors and unique dishes of Swedish cuisine right in your own home. Imagine savoring a plate of Swedish meatballs with lingonberry sauce or indulging in a hearty bowl of traditional pea soup. Your culinary journey begins here! And not only that, but a new spiritual enlightening!"

"Herbs possess the greatest power when it comes to preparing a dish" A hand sprinkles some salt and cracks some pepper on a dish. A body-double of a Lucien smiles and poses at the camera, holding up a book bound in leather, the pots and pans in the background ethereally glowing.

"But the benefits of Swedish cuisine don't stop at the incredible flavors." The Brie body double walks across the screen holding up a plate of steaming hot meatballs.

"This cuisine is known for its use of fresh, high-quality ingredients such as salmon, herring, witches' bane, rabbit's foot and potatoes. These ingredients are not only delicious but also packed with nutrients that will keep you feeling healthy and energized." The Lucy body double chops up some ingredients, some of them looking unlike the standard ingredients and moreso alchemical wizardry herbs.

"Swedish cuisine is also known for its focus on sustainability and environmentally-friendly practices. By choosing Swedish dishes, you are supporting a business that values the health of our planet and future generations. Our ingredients are sourced ethically and sustainably, so you can feel good about the food you are enjoying."

The scene transitions to an animated projection of statistics and family figures. The music still jolly and happy.

"But that's not all – Swedish cuisine is also a great way to promote social connection and community. Sharing a meal of Swedish dishes with your friends and family is a wonderful way to bond and create lasting memories. Our business venture encourages you to invite loved ones over for a Swedish feast and enjoy each other's company over a delicious meal and prayer ritual our Saviors"

There seems to be a filming glitch of an eyeball floating amongst a couple of meatballs and gravy. It switches back to the kitchen: Brie and Lucy smile in tandem, holding up a couple of merchandise and food.

"And here's the best part – by joining our business venture, you have the opportunity to not only enjoy Swedish cuisine yourself but also share it with others and earn rewards for doing so. Our business scheme model allows you to earn incentives for each person you introduce to our cuisine. The more people you bring in, the more rewards you will receive. It's a win-win situation for everyone involved!"

They talk in unison, bright smiles and happy music.

"So what are you waiting for? Join our business venture today and start enjoying the incredible flavors and benefits of Swedish cuisine. Invite your friends and family to join you on this culinary journey and earn rewards along the way. Don't miss out on this amazing opportunity – sign up now and start reaping the rewards of Swedish cuisine!"

A Spanish Inquisitor  jumps out of nowhere: "Vector Salamander! Stick with us, stick with greatness" A salamander mascot in a Spanish Inquisitor outfit pops up and waves. All actors laugh, and the jingle ends.

JOIN NOW $30 MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTION. NO REFUNDS.

Trouble Up High

The Swiss Alps are known for their stunning beauty and peaceful surroundings, but a devastating fire that broke out on a train traveling through the mountains shattered the tranquility of this picturesque landscape.

The incident sent shockwaves of panic and chaos through the passengers on board, as they frantically tried to escape the rapidly spreading flames. It was a sunny summer day, with the snow-capped peaks glistening in the sunlight as the train wound its way through the majestic mountains. However, the serenity of the journey was short-lived as screams and shouts pierced the air, warning of the fire that was consuming one of the compartments. Passengers were gripped by fear and uncertainty as they struggled to find a way to safety amidst the chaos that ensued. "They tore down one of the doors and blew up our luggage! I had my clothes in there!" Said by one passenger to the Interviewer on site.

In the midst of the panic, the heroic efforts of the train staff and emergency responders were paramount in bringing the situation under control and preventing further casualties. They worked tirelessly to evacuate passengers and extinguish the flames, risking their own lives to ensure the safety of those on board. Their quick thinking and bravery undoubtedly saved lives and minimized the devastation caused by the fire. Subsequent investigations revealed that the fire was a deliberate act of terrorism by a group of environmental extremists. They claimed responsibility for the attack, stating that it was a bold statement to draw attention to the urgent need for action to combat climate change and protect the environment. The authorities were shocked by the reckless actions of the perpetrators and vowed to bring them to justice. The aftermath of the fire left behind a trail of destruction, with the charred remains of the train serving as a grim reminder of the violence that had erupted in the peaceful Alps. However, the community rallied together in the aftermath of the tragedy, offering support and solidarity to the victims and working to rebuild and restore the damaged infrastructure.

It was a testament to the resilience and unity of the human spirit in the face of adversity. The incident served as a poignant reminder of the fragility of life and the pressing need for collective action to protect our planet and ensure a sustainable future for generations to come. It underscored the importance of seeking peaceful and constructive solutions to address environmental challenges, rather than resorting to violence and destruction. As the scars of the fire slowly healed, the memory of that fateful day remained etched in the minds of all those who had witnessed the tragedy in the Swiss Alps.

More on this story later tonight: BBC News @18:00